Bifurcation Theory
by dessertisserved
Summary: The story opens at Leonard's going away party and ends after his return. it explores the new parameters of Shamy's relationship and the growing bonds of Penny and her posse. All the gang is here but this is a heavy Shamy fic with fluff, angst, humor and joy (I hope). This is my first Fanfic so your reviews will be greatly appreciated.
1. Chapter 1: What's on your mind?

**Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory and all characters, plots and creative elements derived from the source material belong exclusively to their respective owners. I own nothing.**

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**"I can see behind your eyes the things that I don't know. If you hide away from me how can our love grow?"**

**What's On Your Mind– Information Society**

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_"You know you are lucky to have her, it's not the other way around."_ Bernadette whispered to Sheldon as she stood by the refrigerator before she opened it to search for some bottled water.

Seconds earlier she had observed as Sheldon had poured himself a glass of milk all while being thoroughly engrossed in watching Amy from across the room. Without spilling a drop he placed the glass down on the wooden buffet. He returned the carton to the refrigerator and let the door inch to closure. Not for a second had his eyes left Amy and Bernadette found this habit to be the foremost redeeming value of this aggravating man.

As a microbiologist Bernadette was used to dissecting the most miniscule of details. So it was at their group gatherings that she began to amuse herself by cataloging the exchange of glances and telepathic connections between Sheldon and Amy. She was certain that neither was aware of the PDA's they exchanged which she sometimes felt to be more intimate than the lip-locks Penny displayed with Leonard.

The eye-porn she witnessed had her convinced that they had it bad for one another. Not the dirty sex "bad" that Amy alluded to as a shield to hide her insecurities but the kind of love that Homer would have been proud to write home about. She had mentioned this to no one but when she observed the fact that, even after three years, Sheldon continually suppressed his affections for Amy she feared he was digging a rift that may soon bring on the end of the Shamy.

Pulled from his reverie Sheldon nodded and narrowed his eyes at Bernadette while giving her an affirmative _"uhhum"_ before walking to join Amy and Penny in conversation.

* * *

Saturday morning Sheldon and Penny had dropped off Leonard at the airport and visited Raj. Later that morning the girls and Raj had met in Penny's apartment to celebrate the end of the selective mutism that had afflicted Raj until Lucy's departure.

That afternoon Sheldon and Amy had planned to visit the Kidspace Children's Museum because they had added a hands-on exhibit called the Galvin Physic's Forest that they both wanted to explore. This would be the first time they had been alone together since the Dungeons and Dragons evening. They had been so busy with their jobs and Leonard's impending departure that they had only seen each other at group activities. They had managed to text and Skype but neither had broached the subject of that evening and Sheldon had hoped it would remain that way but deep down he affirmed that the closeness he felt towards Amy had grown and there was no way to reboot it to an earlier date. Once the news of Leonard's departure arrived he was even more certain he didn't want to go backwards. Losing Leonard was an eventual probability anyway, he knew someday he would leave to take a wife and raise a family. He came to terms with the fact that these next few months he would be uncomfortable and inconvenienced without his best friend around, but it could not compare to the absolute desolation he would have felt if the one going away had been Amy.

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At the Children's Museum Sheldon had a hard time waiting his turn. Since it was a Saturday there were several dozen families and numerous children exploring the exhibits and Sheldon became increasingly frustrated that he couldn't launch bottle rockets or test the transfer of energy using their ball bounce display. Amy made a note that one day they could play hooky from work to spend the day together there. She thrilled at watching Sheldon's hyper joy from the combination of playing with toys and the science that fueled his passion.

Before three p.m. they found a place to sit for a presentation/demonstration on the laws of physics. They were twenty minutes early because Sheldon had insisted that they needed to sit in the front row. While they sat Amy read some museum brochures but Sheldon sat next to her observing all the areas around them fighting the urge to rush and stop kids because they were "doing it wrong" in the interactive areas. He sat watching while silently tapping his heels at a rate of thirty repetitions per minute. It was then that his Vulcan hearing allowed him to overhear two young women discussing the upcoming presentation.

_"I'm so nervous, this is my first time. I hope I don't mess up."_ Said a spectacled brunette wearing jeans and a striped green cardigan over a white tshirt. He surmised that she was in her early twenties with Amy's height, hair length and color but not as shapely. He looked back at Amy, who was engrossed in the brochures, and took her hand in his.

Amy's heart fluttered. She looked up at Sheldon and saw that he was looking and listening to the young ladies.

_"Don't worry. Just remember you're talking to little kids and they won't be so judgmental. Just keep them entertained."_

_"I'm not worried about keeping them entertained. I'm worried about getting the information right."_

Sheldon grinned, looked down at Amy's adoring eyes and said

"Amy look that young girl reminds me of a younger you. She's nervous about her presentation. How I hate public speaking. I don't blame her for being anxious."

Amy looked at the presenter and told Sheldon "I actually did work at several science camps with little kids during college. It was great practice for what I'm doing now but at the time I couldn't be convinced that it was no more than a public hazing."

"She's more worried about getting the information correct. Isn't that impressive? A true scientist and what's even better a physicist."

"Sheldon you don't know she's a physicist, she may just be making this presentation today. Why don't you offer to help?" Amy coyly suggested, expecting Sheldon to balk at the idea.

"I think I will." He answered pulling out his wallet to retrieve a calling card. He rose and approached the presenter.

Amy's jaw dropped. Sheldon seemed to have forgotten his speaking phobia to assist this young woman. She smiled at his chivalry and half wished their friends were there to witness this side of Sheldon that was revealed to her from time to time when they were alone on their activities. Of course she knew that if any of the others were anywhere near this would never have happened.

Sheldon handed the girl his card pointed to himself and over at Amy. She waved and smiled. The trio chatted for several minutes before parting. Amy's gentleman cowboy returned after a few minutes and sure enough his drawl had become more pronounced.

"That little lady is named Melanie and she said she would call on me from the audience if she had trouble remembering her presentation. She is most worried about making sure their young minds can understand what she is explaining. She seemed grateful for my offer and expressed that it made her more relaxed. I'll go over some key points on the physics of roller coasters before sending the audience over to build their own at the exhibit. She is actually a marine biology student at Cal State Long Beach. Another young mind lost to a lesser…" Sheldon stopped.

Amy's eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed. Sheldon quickly identified that he was about to cross into tumultuous territory. He was still considerably inept with nonverbal cues but with Amy he had begun to catalog the landmines.

He tried to save himself by saying "I take it all back. She'll probably get to work with dolphins." He smiled at her, took her hand again and hoped for the best.

"Well Professor Proton Jr., how would you handle such a presentation?"

_Whew! Landmine averted_. He thought.

"ooooooh. Yes. Of course." He practically squealed in a rising high voice. "You're right Amy. This situation provides an excellent opportunity for me to analyze this from the Professor Proton Jr perspective." As he lost himself in thought he held her hand in both of his and pulled it next to his heart.

Amy felt slightly faint. This hand holding felt like it was his compromise to advance their physical intimacy and she was savoring it like was her last drink of water before entering a desert.

"I've got it! Amy, maybe we can start podcasting a new…" Amy's eyes were closed, she sat comfortably facing the stage but she wasn't sleeping. She looked serene but vulnerable.

He looked from her closed eyes to her lips. _Those sweet pink lips look soft and gloss free ready for me._ He thought as he lowered his hands to reposition himself on the bench. Amy's eyes quivered open and looked into his momentarily until they heard the presenter speak over the microphone.

He released her hand and they both straightened themselves out by patting down their hair, adjusting their clothes and sitting forward to give the speaker complete attention. It was not until then that they noticed the forum space around them was filled with children and their parents.

On cue Sheldon was introduced. He spoke of gravity, momentum and centripetal force then led the audience away. Amy thought all he needed was a lab coat and a puppet to make it a perfect show. She was impressed by his unprecedented boldness but then assured herself that his ego was being sufficiently stroked by the congregation of eager learners. It was well after five when they left.

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After the waitress refilled their water glasses Sheldon and Amy continued eating their entrees. Their conversation was animated as they shared little quips and jokes about their afternoon at the museum and experiences at work during the week. Mostly their topics stayed solidly focused on the ramifications that any inconvenience had on the life of one theoretical physicist.

"AND after I spoke to the cafeteria manager she still insisted that the raspberry jam was just as good as the organic strawberry spread. This is patently false I argued because the taste of just right strawberries is superior to any other berry. Furthermore the seeds completely change the experience. The seeds -_Amy_"

"I know Sheldon it's one of the first things you shared with me. They stick in between your teeth, burrow into your gums and make you miserable, unable to enjoy their pleasant taste. If you eat them without warning you will not have your toothbrush on you and the discomfort will give you a headache."

"Thank you. Will you write a strongly worded letter to the cafeteria manager to let her know this is an issue that requires her attention? I've already penned mine."

"So what did she say about not having anymore of the organic strawberry spread?"

"She said the company that makes the spread changes their product seasonally. She said I would have to wait until next year. Next year _Amy_. I think I'll write a letter to the company too. Obviously there are strawberries at the market so why can't I have my spread?"

"You did say it was an organic strawberry spread. So it may be that the farms from which they harvest their strawberries have exhausted their fruit until next year. I actually think it is quite responsible of the company."

"Not if it means I don't get **my** strawberry spread to put on **my** frozen yogurt."

"I thought you liked cherries? Don't they have cherries?"

"Yes, but once again they make specific choices to torment me. They continually provide us cherries with stems. Stems _Amy_. I've already been near death more than once because of their carelessness with the stems."

"Maybe you can try being delightful with the cafeteria manager instead of adversarial. Then you won't feel she's out to torment you."

"She is out to torment me. She said so specifically. 'If it pisses you off Dr. Cooper, I'm all for it' were her precise words. So it's too late for delightful."

"It's never too late for delightful. That's what makes it such a delight."

Sheldon gave Amy his breathy laugh. Then he became lost in her glittery emerald eyes making his skin feel like it was being swept with downy feathers.

He looked away back down at his food trying to kohlinar his sensations. Then his cell phone buzzed with a message.

"Leonard has arrived and he will get his boarding details and expedition itinerary tomorrow. He's calling Penny now."

"Good. Penny can relax at least for tonight" Amy answered. Then after a short pause.

"Sheldon", asked Amy in a calm inquisitive tone.

"Yes", he answered.

"Do you think you would be logically happier if we were just friends?"

At this Sheldon raised his head looked into the air beyond his nose before lifting his eyes to meet hers. He held them there trying to read her expression but it looked calm and unaffected. He in turn had felt all heat leave his body and his stomach drop to his insoles.

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**A/N** You will note that each chapter title will refer to a companion song. Some old school summer tunes makeup this soundtrack.


	2. Chapter 2: Tenderness?

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I hope to accomodate updates on the weekends and on Mondays. Thank you for the follows and PMs. I'm new to writing Fanfic and have discovered that writing canon is very difficult still I hope you find my yarns entertaining enough to help get us through the hiatus.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**"Seems like without tenderness there's something missing"**

**Tenderness – General Public**

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His frigid hands pushed his plate away as he asked, "Amy, are you breaking up with me?"

"Not at all, Sheldon, it is simply an inquiry." She answered softly but clearly rattled by his rejoinder.

"Amy, not three weeks ago you were telling me you wanted something more. Now you're telling me you want something less. How am I to understand?" he retorted in a hurtful whisper.

"Sheldon, at no point did I state that I wanted something less. I simply asked a question that you did not answer; do you think you would be logically happier if we were just friends?"

His shoulders slumped and his voice trembled as he asked. "Is there someone else?"

"Sheldon!" Amy choked, "of course not. It has always been you and only you. Now please stop. I did not intend for my question to provoke you. I just wanted us to have some dialogue about our relationship"

"Is this about me not wanting for us to live together?" he asked as he shoulders drooped further and his eyes took on a glazed and unsteady appearance. They had both avoided revisiting this topic yet it clacked in his mind like a pendulum. She had been so angry and hurt that day. He had admitted his cowardice but it distressed him to accept that he had pushed her away.

Amy paused, gnawed on his question and concluded- it wasn't. Not really. But it was at that time that she began to truly question the merits of continuing on the four year plan she had originally thought would lead to her dream wedding. There were times at least once per month that he made her consider ending their relationship due to his clueless insensitivity but she adored and loved this man, his mind and all he was. She was just finding it harder and harder to believe that he would ever genuinely reciprocate. Until the night of the Dungeons and Dragons game.

Then today the handholding had seemed so magical yet she hated feeling like a pre-teen girl and longed for an adult relationship. Sheldon it seemed was willing to open up and while she still wanted to move forward something told her that providing him an out would alleviate some pressure off of him. She was surprised that her scientific man had reacted; she hesitated with the thought - so emotionally. Her heart gasped at the ache she heard in his voice.

Looking back at Sheldon, she reached over and cupped both of his chilled hands in hers looked into his languid blue eyes and said, "I know you were not ready for us to live together and the truth is I don't know that I was either. What I knew then and know still is that I just want to be with you. You need to know that I will never be happy taking something from you that you cannot give freely." She gradually exhaled, released his hands and said, "I know you will soon dismiss these as hippy emotions, so let's just go so that I can take you home."

She rose taking the dinner check from the table and walked over to the cashier.

Sheldon watched as she walked, missing the warmth of her hands. His chest was laden with a thousand boulders so he took a sip of water before he stood. Placing both hands on the table to steady himself, he rose. Slowly he inhaled and exhaled to regulate his breathing and straighten out his posture. When she turned to glance at him he snatched the glass of water, chugged it dry then left following her to the car.

Sheldon's response had been unexpected but Amy had permitted herself the idea that they would have a discussion as they rode together but the car ride was quiet. Gone was Sheldon's previous exuberance about the museum and their afternoon together. He stared at the road ahead of him but occasionally stole glances at Amy. He wanted to touch her but somehow he couldn't gather the courage. She had unpacked her feelings and now he felt too impotent to return the honesty.

As they approached the Los Robles Apartments Sheldon asked

"Amy, will you be coming up for tea? It's still early and our conversation has left me a bit unsettled so maybe we can talk upstairs."

"Sheldon, I told you it was simply an inquiry." She stated meekly.

She pulled up in front of the building and added.

"Are you sure? You have laundry to do and we have an early start tomorrow with your first day of driving lessons."

"Of course. It slipped my mind. Well brace yourself Amy that is not going to be an easy task. I offer it as further proof that an evening tea will bolster your fortitude for tomorrow."

"Alright. Let me park and I'll be right up." Sheldon smiled at her as he opened the car door and headed towards his building.

* * *

As Sheldon walked up the stairs he tried to organize his thoughts. He wanted to answer Amy's question and put to rest the nagging insecurities that were making him lose sleep. While Sheldon treasured moments of solitude, lately those moments had been shrouded in a sense of aloneness. In his aloneness he felt deficient and discontent but Leonard's expected absence didn't seem to fit as the correct explanation for this mental state. He had rationalized that Amy was at the root of his interrupted REM cycles. Perhaps she was correct to appropriate the need for a discussion about their relationship. She had allayed his qualms by declaring her commitment to him so surely it was his obligation to provide a response to her question.

When Sheldon reached the fourth floor landing he encountered Bernadette leaving Penny's apartment.

"Hello Sheldon"

"Did Penny get to speak with Leonard?"

"Yes, she did. She was feeling down so I stayed with her until she fell asleep."

Hearing bottles clinking he asked, "What do you have in that bag?"

"Well, Amy and I had been talking and we think it would be wise to limit Penny's access to alcohol while Leonard is away. I left her one bottle of wine but I took these to store away for now. We want to come up with new ways to keep her busy."

"That sounds like a prudent idea. How many bottles do you have there?"

"Four. Is there any place where we could store these in your apartment?"

"Come inside and we'll take a look."

Sheldon unlocked the door, put his keys in their bowl and walked over to their living room closet.

"I suppose this would make a good place. Let me see if I have an empty box."

While he searched he asked.

"Bernadette, what did you mean by telling me the other night that I'm lucky to have Amy? I know that."

"Oh." She stopped to remember, "Sheldon, you know it's just that you really don't show her much affection. And I don't mean physically either. I mean as a woman she deserves to be getting something out of your relationship. It just seems like you don't appreciate her."

"Of course she's getting something out of our relationship. She gets to lord over others the fact her boyfriend is Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper who will one day win a Nobel Prize."

Sheldon handed Bernadette a box but clearly her tone has changed as she snatched the box from his hands.

"Listen Narcissus, that ego crap does not make her feel special. If anything it seems like you only have a relationship with yourself!"

Bernadette often frightened Sheldon. She was scary, bossy and blunt with him to the point that one day after another round of insults against Wolowitz she had flipped him off. Instead of being insulted, Sheldon had grown to appreciate Bernadette because in an odd way she reminded him of his sister Missy but with the added bonus of a high I.Q. and a Ph.D.

"Maybe this is none of your business!"

"Maybe as a member of your Council of Ladies, I'm making it my business!"

Meanwhile, Amy had parked her car and sat in the quiet with her forehead resting on the steering wheel. Before heading to the apartment she tried to meditate so as to prepare for a calm unemotional discussion with Sheldon. It was her plan to remain as subdued as possible but she knew that when it came to Sheldon her emotions were rarely in control.

"You're fired!" yelled Sheldon.

"I quit! Don't ask me for advice ever again!" Bernadette hissed while putting the box of liquor away in the closet.

"I didn't ask you this time!" Sheldon opened the front door waiting for her to leave.

"Conceit spoils the finest genius!" she snarled at him before walking out the door.

Before he closed the door he heard Amy say

"Hi Bernadette, How did it go with Penny today?"

He left them to their conversation without shutting the door. Sheldon busied himself preparing their tea. Taking a mental inventory of all the things that had transpired in the last few hours.

_All these discussions are asphyxiating._

_Why did women have to be so difficult? _He thought.

He wished Bernadette had not set him off because now he had to summon kolinahr to help him to concentrate on his discussion with Amy. He went to the bathroom to splash water on his face and to gather himself together before the tea water boiled.

When he returned to the kitchen Amy was placing the teabags in the mugs and they steeped their tea quietly before removing themselves to the couch. They sat in silence a few minutes Sheldon on his spot and Amy next to him. He took several sips of tea and watched Amy do the same then he placed his mug down and put his hands on his knees.

"Amy, I would like to answer your question." Clearing his throat he spoke in a sterilized tone, "While I understand that our relationship has not progressed in a conventional manner, I'd hoped from our last conversation that you understood that I am willing to stretch my boundaries because I want you in my life." He gulped and took another sip of tea.

Amy was going to speak but Sheldon raised his free hand into a stop motion.

"Our relationship agreement has thirty-one pages and in the months that it took to construct that agreement I gave careful and logical thought to each entry. I knew that changing our paradigm from a friendship to a pair bond was going to entail some uncomfortable progression. I did my research and it revealed many aspects of pair bonding I did not care to consider at the time."

Once again Amy's voice rose to interject but Sheldon's hand stopped her.

"As we grew comfortable in our friendship I became very satisfied with the status quo until you became attracted to other men. You already know that I found the idea of you romantically linked with Stuart or anyone else repellant. So I thoroughly reconsidered whether I wanted a pair bond or to maintain our friendship, knowing that it may evolve into- sssomething mmore." He stuttered with the last part, finished his tea and put his blue mug down.

"I freely chose pair bonding and I'm grateful that you agreed to be my girlfriend. I have been honest in stating that I preferred a relationship of the mind but I also observed that you had changed your opinions since our first date. I accepted the new possibilities but in the last few months we have gone from the things that I'm now somewhat comfortable with like holding hands, hugs and occasional cuddles to talks of living together. Then when I shared the information about my opportunity for tenure you brought up getting married, buying a house and raising a family. It's not lost on me that you could easily find someone to give you all those things when I'm simply not ready to do that right now."

His voice now began to crack with the emotion he had displayed earlier.

"I know I said I had gone back and forth on this girlfriend/boyfriend thing but that was before our agreement. I want you to know that just because I'm not ready to give you those things now, doesn't mean I won't be ready to someday." He paused as if searching for courage.

"Amy, I want you to be my girlfriend and everything that goes with that.

It's just that –"

His voice trailed because he was at a loss as to how to verbalize anything that he couldn't sort as a fact, so he just looked at her pleadingly and uttered,

"Amy, please don't give up on me."

As her mind was lost in the moment Amy did not catch the words that slipped out of her mouth.

"It's not you - so much. It's that sometimes I feel like giving up - on us."

Sheldon sprang to his feet. With a mixture of sorrow and rage he blurted,

"Why?"

His face contorted as if he had just been slapped. His head and stomach burned as if bathed in caustic house cleaner. He wanted to run to his room. He wanted to faint. Instead he summoned every muscle in his being to stand and wait. To wait for the final blow so as to capture a memory that would remain as his lesson to never feel again.

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**A/N:** **Bernadette quoted Louisa May Alcott "Conceit spoils the finest genius!" . Ever since she enjoyed Amy's story about the Cantebury Tales I imagined her well versed in literature. Did you think Sheldon wrote the relationship agreement in one night after leaving Amy at the theater? We discussed it in our home months ago and compared the episode list. While everyone differs on the set time that he began to write it we all agreed he was working on it long before the Flaming Spittoon episode.**

**Well the next chapter will be up on Monday. Don't worry I made Sheldon grow a pair and stay put. He ran away from me twice and locked himself in his room curled up on his bed. Amy will have her turn next.**


	3. Chapter 3 : Just Like Heaven

**A/N: This should have been up last night. I hope you can still enjoy it. Reviews will be appreciated as I'm still puttering along on this new venture.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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**"And found myself alone, alone, - alone above a raging sea,**

**that stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me"**

**Just Like Heaven – The Cure**

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Amy's hand rushed to cover her mouth stunned by her words and Sheldon's looming presence. She was seldom impulsive so apparently her subconscious had willed itself forward. Left without an alternative she spoke.

"Hear me out, Sheldon" Amy stood and begged "Please don't be angry."

"When we first met we were so much alike that there wasn't anything we wouldn't talk about. Our communication was unfiltered, unaltered and there weren't any uncomfortable topics, we shared all our thoughts. Not only were we intellectually compatible but we partook of much of the same humor and point of view. The day you told your mother I was more similar to you than anyone you had ever met, was one of the happiest of my life. You went against her wishes so **we** could continue to be friends. I felt a bond to you the moment we met but on that day you confirmed that you felt the same way and I discerned that I'd found something I'd been missing my whole life that I didn't even knew I wanted."

Swallowing she continued, "Sheldon you became my best friend."

Sheldon began to unclench his nerves and muscles and in hearing Amy's voice quiver he softened his glare.

"Joining your social group made me more aware of my social improprieties. Penny, Bernadette and even Leonard have helped me considerably in that arena. And while three years ago I would have said I didn't care about those things, I do now. They've become friends, confidants and family."

"What does that have to do with us?" Sheldon asked now immersed in her words.

"Somehow that first us, that first Shamy, as Penny liked to say, went missing. We can still talk about anything, everyone and everything, except **us**. The day when you spanked me you said that you thought our relationship was based on trust and mutual admiration."

"Yes, I did because you had lied to me." Sheldon affirmed

"Did you ever question why we couldn't be honest with each other? You weren't honest with me about not wanting to live together. You haven't been honest with me when you've wanted to skip out of date nights. In fact we haven't been completely honest about **'us'** with each other for a while. Instead we avoid things or turn to our friends to help work out -**'us'**, instead of turning to each other. Where is the **trust** in that?"

Sheldon was stuck between awe and worry so he sat down and began to wring his hands. Amy's voice still trembled but he noticed it was now laced with what he first labeled as anger but which he eventually tagged as pain.

"To me Sheldon, intimacy is more than physical. Yes, we've become extremely intimate but there seems to have been a cost. I think we've evolved for the better and whether or not our physical intimacy grows I leave that entirely up to you. What I struggle to accept is that I can't talk about any of my feelings relating to **us** with you because 1 - you'll be condescending, 2- dismissive of quote 'hippie ways', 3 – you'll shut down or 4 – you'll run away."

"Amy, I just don't know how - how" he mumbled

Amy waited for him to finish but he only looked up at her with a hurt puppy face. Amy turned away from him as she struggled with her composure. She walked to the end of the couch before turning around to see Sheldon standing. In a softer tone she offered,

"I never wanted to be part of what I thought was an unnecessary cultural construct yet here I am selfishly hoping that we could stumble down this path together. Together with…" her façade crumbled and wiping away a tear she added "my best friend."

The tears flowed but she forced herself to look at him once more to say,

"Sheldon, sometimes, - even though you're sitting right next to me, -I miss you."

Sheldon pulled Amy into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Her arms flew around his waist and they pulled each other tighter and tighter as if trying to meld into one. Neither would let go but Sheldon began to caress her hair as he bent down to put his head on top of hers. He closed his eyes and Amy closed hers. There were no words between them and they stood in a constricted embrace for minutes.

Slowly their embrace softened so Amy loosened her arms preparing to separate but Sheldon contentedly clung to her. She could hear his heartbeat as it went from turbulent pounding to a rhythmic symphony of the electrical pulses between atria and ventricles. She could still feel his head resting on hers so she remained there holding him and nestling in his chest.

Solving an equation or completing a paper often elicited what Sheldon defined as a quiet mind. He knew that this meant a rise in his serotonin level causing calming and relaxation. It was odd to feel that now, as he held Amy, but she had solved the puzzle regarding his sense of loss and loneliness. He hadn't been missing his girlfriend; he had been missing his friend. He had spent several months wrestling with fear regarding his growing fondness for Amy. Fear of losing her, fear of moving forward, fear of derailing his career and fear of falling in love. The worst thing though was that he thought he was in combat alone.

"Amy" he said quietly, looking down at her "you're right. We lost that part of us. When did it happen? How did you know?"

"I don't know. I just don't remember ever having to feel guarded around you but for a while now it's been – different."

They released their hug and Sheldon took her hand to lead her to sit down on the couch.

Sheldon sat, bent over and put his head in both his hands literary trying to think of a way to pause time. "Amy, please understand this is a lot to process today. I don't want to run away or shut down." He said without looking up.

Amy sat quietly watching him.

He finally sat up looked at her, scrunched his pursed lips to one side then said,

"Sorry."

Then taking her hand once again he repeated,

"Sorry, I made you feel you couldn't talk to me."

"I forgive you." She said caressing his hand with her thumb.

"I'm not clear on how to understand or fix any of this and I meant what I said before - just don't give up on me. I want to make this … **us** work." He threw himself back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

Amy wanted to give him space but he continued to hold her hand. They sat in comfortable silence. Her tears were dry now and she felt a semblance of emotional control. She noticed that the same had happened to Sheldon when he looked at her and spoke.

"Amy, I am a man of science. Feelings create chaos. We have to do something about the chaos."

Amy the pragmatic responded,

"I think what you are really afraid of is the emotional response to feelings and not the feelings themselves after all, as much as you'd like it to be true, we are not droids. We only damage ourselves if we suppress our natural inclinations and since we can't eliminate them at some point we have to face them head on. You would probably feel more comfortable knowing that we are trying to manage the emotions?"

"I don't know" he nodded feeling completing flummoxed with the topic.

"Proposal. We create a moment of sharing called Full Disclosure. Each day we must each make one statement or question to each other under the umbrella of Full Disclosure. It will mean that we cannot become judgmental or defensive we simply have to - quote – take it."

"When you said 'statement or question', what did you mean? Question about what? And what if the other person doesn't want to answer?" Sheldon asked.

"It would be wise to tweak the parameters as we go since neither of us will be treading in familiar territory. The statements and questions need to be about us, our relationship whether positive or negative." Amy offered.

"We are masters of the unsaid words but slaves of those we let slip out. - Winston Churchill"

"We're all fools, all the time. It's just we're a different kind each day. " Amy returned

"Amy, you're quoting Ray Bradbury a science fiction writer?" Sheldon questioned proudly.

"I thought you would consider the The Illustrated Man required reading for any homo novus. I was particularly drawn to his short story of Marionettes, Inc. though the entire collection was quite interesting. Now let's focus on my proposal."

"I'm willing to give your idea a trial run. I propose thirty days"

"I counter that the trial run until Leonard's return. However it would be prudent for us to make an objective assessment of progress every thirty days."

"I'm still wondering what we do if the other person does not want to answer the question asked on a given day?"

A pregnant pause ensued as they looked at each others faces for the answer to appear.

"How about if we are each given a pass and the other person has to choose a new question?" offered Sheldon

"Well the objective is for us to avoid cloaking our distress from each other. So how about one pass per month?" countered Amy

"One pass per week."

"As long as the said rejected question can be asked at another time - then I accept."

"Fair enough. I'll type it up to add to our agreement."

"I also propose that we move our activities scheduled for tomorrow to next weekend."

"Counter proposal: We continue as planned."

"Don't you want some time or space for yourself after what I brought upon you tonight?"

"No."

Any other time before tonight that would have been exactly his request, to get time to isolate himself and regain complete control. Tonight he sensed it wasn't wise to regress.

"I know the kind of man I want to be." He smiled and stood helping Amy up from the couch. She took a deep breath trying to inhale the word 'man' but she returned his smile.

Looking at his watch he registered that he was late to start his laundry.

"Amy, it's already 8:30"

Sensing his anxiety she said, "I'll leave you to your laundry and see you tomorrow."

They dispersed, her to the front door and him towards his room.

He stopped to call out to her "Amy, please text me when you are safe at home."

"I will." She answered as she walked out the door.

* * *

** A/N I highly recommend Ray Bradbury if you are inclined to try reading some science fiction.**

**What do you think? Have I been able to stay canon or have I gone too OOC?**

**Are you following the soundtrack? This chapter's song is one of my favorites.**

**Next up: Amy teaches Sheldon how to drive ... or not.**


	4. She Drives Me Crazy

**Author's note: Sorry for the delay**. I was caught up with the Walking Dead Marathon and had to rely on Shamy Appreciation Week on Tumblr to get my groove back. Out of town visitors however don't allow for uninterrupted writing time. I'm back and we'll be rolling now. I hope you enjoy it.** Thank you for your reviews.**

**Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory and all characters, plots and creative elements derived from the source material belong exclusively to their respective owners. I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

* * *

**"She drives me crazy, Like no one else, She drives me crazy, ****And I can't help myself"**

**She Drives Me Crazy – Fine Young Cannibals**

Amy reached her car unsure if she was encased in elation or relief. Tense and eager to reach her apartment she darted through the streets of Pasadena at alarming speed coming to an abrupt stop at a light four blocks from her home. She gasped for breath realizing her recklessness and good fortune as she had neither, been injured or ticketed. The thought of Sheldon reprimanding her for her scofflaw behavior made her blurt out loud.

"Cuddles you don't know what a naughty vixen I've been", she then unraveled into a fit of giggles.

As she entered her apartment she was in much better spirits but decided to go directly to bed. She didn't want to extend the day any further as enjoyable as the afternoon had been she struggled with her evening exchanges with Sheldon. She hadn't planned tonight's conversation as she was apt to be deliberate about serious dialogues but Sheldon had unhinged her emotionally for three years and at times she felt that her brain circuitry had become possessed by a thirteen year old girl. When she was with the girls she could excuse herself the frivolity of reliving a college life she did not get to experience. With Sheldon everything was different and now she worried about what to expect from him the next day. She was afraid to revel in the tender moments so as not to elevate her hopes because she was also afraid that he may completely withdraw. Never mind that his declarations and hugs had seemed so sincere, so comforting it was just that this was all new for Sheldon and Amy could not be certain that in the light of day he may regret exposing this part of himself to her.

**_I'm home. Sleep well._**

He responded.

**_Pleasant dreams._**

Once she had texted Sheldon she began looking on her ipod for suitable songs to help her succumb to slumber. She turned on her radio _aaah the voice of summer _as her grandfather used to say. The Dodgers were in town and though Amy did not follow baseball she did love listening to games called by Vin Scully. She spent many summer evenings with her grandfather enjoying the games on radio. From her perspective she admired the melodic soothing tone of his broadcast voice, his almanac of knowledge and his ability to weave facts and anecdotes together into a poetic rhythm.

She heard the crack of the bat. Someone had hit a home run and the crowd was going wild. A grand slam home run and the broadcast booth went quiet. After a few moments she heard Vin say,

_"I have learned over the years that there comes a rare and precious moment where there is absolutely nothing better than silence…"_

And with those wise words and the sound of the game quietly playing in the background Amy fell asleep.

* * *

Early the next morning Amy arrived at Sheldon's door with her arms laden with two flats of fresh ripe strawberries. She had risen at dawn to make a trek out to the farmer's market and was happy to secure her morning breakfast and a surprise for Sheldon. With her arms full she balanced herself and knocked on the door with her foot.

Sheldon greeted her with surprise and glee. "Amy! Let me help you."

She followed him to the kitchen where he placed the boxes he had taken from her, next to the sink.

"These are beautiful. Where did you find them?"

"I was early enough at the Farmer's Market to locate this batch so we can make an inaugural attempt at canning some Fowler-Cooper preserves."

"A little culinary science from two great minds and the best part is that with Leonard gone we won't have to share."

Sheldon broadened his smile and looked adorningly into Amy's eyes.

"Amy, this is thoughtful of you and I'd like to make you breakfast. I was just having some Alpha-bits but I'll gladly make you anything you'd like."

"Thank you Sheldon but I already had some coffee and as soon as I wash these strawberries. I'll have myself a bowl."

"All right then. You have the kitchen to yourself for now. I may have to make some sourdough bread later to complement our endeavor. I'm getting ready to re-watch some episodes of Dr. Who before we head out."

Sheldon sauntered to the couch with his bowl of cereal while Amy busied herself in the kitchen. Searching for some colanders and a pot she repeatedly dunked and thoroughly rinsed the strawberries. When she was done she hulled them then carefully patted them dry then laid them out on paper towels. She began to clean up the tools she had used washing, drying and storing them in their proper place before preparing anything for herself.

Sheldon had forgotten to turn on the DVR as he drank in her presence and the efficiency of her actions. It was like watching her work in the lab. On his lunchtime visits with her he would observe her meticulous motions for organizing data and equipment before settling down for their leisurely lunches. She was the only person close to him that awed him even when she did simple tasks and when in her lab, to use the vernacular favored by Raj, "she owned it". Sheldon chuckled to himself as he registered this thought.

Those lunches were one of the reasons he had agreed to driving lessons. No one had managed to successfully help him with his driving impediment which he postulated was not worthy of his attention anyway. The problem was that his jaunts to share lunches with Amy required three hour blocks of time. He needed to take a cab in both directions so he could at least spend sixty to ninety minutes with her. Generally on those days he would stay later at work and then take the bus home. He hated the bus and wanted the freedom of seeing Amy whenever he wanted. She had suggested other reasons so he agreed to her logic without having to state that it would simply be easier for them to be together. _My vixen_ he thought as he watched her finish with the dishes. _That glorious posterior_ he thought as he watched her finish with the dishes.

Amy completed the cleaning and dried her hands. She picked a dozen succulent strawberries and placed them in a bowl. Holding the bowl she opened the fridge searching for the spray canned whipped-crème which she grabbed then headed to join Sheldon on the couch.

"Oh, you haven't started it?" she questioned as she put her supplies down along with some napkins and sat perched at the edge of the couch on her spot.

"Uh no. I was waiting for you." He answered as he turned on the program. Amy offered him the bowl of strawberries but he shook negatively as his mouth was full of cereal.

Amy picked up a strawberry and carefully used the whipped-crème to paint what looked like a smiley face with a long white night cap for a hat. Sheldon was giving her a wry one sided smile which she returned. Then to her surprise he opened his mouth as if requesting her amuse-bouche creation for himself so she fed it to him.

"mmm" he moaned while he chewed.

Amy smiled picked another larger berry and bit the top half.

"mmm sweet" she moaned and Sheldon nodded.

Before her next bite she sprayed it with a large dollop of whipped-crème and prepared to eat it when Sheldon aggressively bumped her knee. She frowned at him only to see his eyebrows raised and his mouth open. She shook her head "no".

Sheldon's mouth closed and his jaw set. She smiled but ignored him so she could eat her berry. He snatched it from her and plopped it in his mouth.

"Sheldon!"

"So goooood" he mumbled obnoxiously goading her.

Amy said nothing. She was waiting for him to choke or go into convulsions. She was certain he had seen her take a bite out of the berry first. At any moment she expected that he would react to the possibility of germ contamination. Nothing.

Amy prepared herself another smiley-faced berry and once again Sheldon bumped her knee.

"No Sheldon." she said suppressing an annoyed giggle until she looked at him once again sitting with his mouth open. She relented.

Except that instead of placing the berry in his mouth she left the dollop of whipped-crème on his nose and then ate the berry herself. She chewed and giggled when she saw his eyes fly open.

"That was rude" he said grabbing a napkin to clean his nose

"**I** was rude?" she laughed while she ate another strawberry. In that moment Sheldon grabbed the whipped-crème canister and she noticed a devilish twinkle in his eye.

"Here" she offered the berry in her hand. He shook his head "no". Amy scooted to the opposite end of the couch after seeing a devilish grin spread on his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Miss Fowler, I don't want to be rude. I want to return the favor." He snarled playfully.

Amy narrowly dodged his grip as he lunged to grab her wrist. She stood and ran towards the front door. He stood and walked purposefully towards her.

"Sheldon, what are you thinking? We have a busy day. I don't want to get messy."

"It will be tidy if you accept your due without a struggle. Don't make me chase you. Come here." He commanded, as he stood in the middle of the living room head tilted to one side.

Amy considered her options. One, rush at him, knock him to the floor so she could roll around with him on that blue rug and have a dirty make-out session. Or two, distract him and find some way to escape the situation. She preferred option one but had to settle for number two.

He began to move towards her again and in an instant Amy threw the berry she had in her hand at him. He ducked. She ran towards the back window.

The berry smashed the wall next to the refrigerator and slid down the wall leaving a trail of bright red juices.

"Amy Farrah Fowler, that is a **strike!** This is the kind of mess that stains!"

Sheldon rushed to the kitchen for paper towels and spray cleaner.

Amy opened the window and hid under the desk where the Apple computer sat. She knew she was in trouble now. She thought _maybe I can ask to be disciplined_. Hugging her knees she silently giggled wondering what fate he _would_ have in store for her.

"I have been far too lenient with you so this is two strikes! First strike is for the mess and second for the waste of a perfectly delicious strawberry!"

He completed his cleaning as his rant on waste and food fights continued. Once done he washed his hands and grabbed the canister.

"Amy, you know I'm going to find you so just come out."

Then noticing the open window he rushed towards it.

"Amy, why on earth would you go out there?"

He looked out the window and Amy dashed from under the desk but her sweater was caught.

"Ah Hah!"

He took advantage of her predicament by grabbing at her sweater but Amy quickly unbuttoned herself free and fled. No longer containing her glee and laugh she rushed towards Leonard's desk putting his chair between her and her pursuing boyfriend.

"Sheldon don't" she giggled

"Amy, you must accept your due." He chided while yanking the chair from her grip and throwing it behind him. His forcefulness was arousing and at that moment Amy decided to let herself get caught. She inched her way backwards to Sheldon's desk trying to reach for his chair. He anticipated her actions and rolled it away then grabbed her by the waist.

"Say you're sorry you were rude." He demanded

"I'm sorry you were rude." She snorted

"Amy, don't make this difficult all you have to do is apologize."

"I'm sorry you were a bit of a glutton this morning" she laughed as she tried to grab for the canister. He pulled her closer to him and held the can beyond her reach. She weakened in his arms knowing she was physically out matched.

Sheldon smiled triumphantly. "See little lady it is useless to fight. You are powerless against me".

Amy placed her hands on his chest and softly answered, "I am"

Seriousness returned to Sheldon's face as he looked into Amy's eyes trying to verify the double meaning. A palpable tension arose as he looked at her lips and she looked at his. He swallowed and began to lean his head towards her.

**"What the hell was all that racket in here?"** yelled Penny as she stormed from the back of the apartment.

Sheldon dropped the canister and released Amy.

"Penny, when did you get here?" Amy asked while trying to smooth out her clothes and fix her hair.

Penny surveyed the room and saw the knocked over and tossed chairs, Amy's torn sweater strewn along the floor, her messy appearance, Sheldon's guilty scowl and the can that he'd picked up.

She practically jumped and clapped "I'm sorry guys, so sorry, I'll get out of here" she chuckled heading to the door.

"Wait." Sheldon said "When **did** you get in here?"

"Last night. I guess you were still doing your laundry. I wanted to sleep in Leonard's bed."

"What did Leonard say last night?"

"He was wiped out from the trip and he told me that he doesn't really know his schedule for today so we have plans to Skype tomorrow."

"Bestie, are we still meeting tomorrow at your place at 6:00?" asked Amy.

"We're still on. Leonard and I won't Skype until very late. He's going to try and text me details today if he still has phone service."

Sheldon began to pick up the chairs and return order to the room.

"I've got a double shift today so I better get going." Right before she closed the door she gave Amy a wink and a thumbs-up.

Sheldon was picking up the pieces of Amy's sweater. He walked over and presented it to her. "I could weave you a new one."

One arm was severely stretched out and the hem was frayed and quickly coming undone. "I might take you up on that this fall. This one has served its time. I'm due for some new ones anyway" She took it from him and placed it in the trash bin.

"We really should go now." Amy walked to the kitchen gathered the strawberries off the paper towels and put them in a Tupperware bowls and placed them in the fridge.

Sheldon brought all the mess from the coffee table and put down the bowl with the remaining berries that Amy had planned for her breakfast on the wooden counter.

"This isn't over" he sternly admonished.

Amy shoved a berry in her mouth and raised a challenging eyebrow.

"I won't tolerate your defiance. I'll deal with you later."

Amy remained silent. She slowly ate another berry looking at Sheldon intentionally prodding his resolve. One small bite then a second, then a third and lastly pushing the remaining berry in just enough so that juice would drip down the right corner of her mouth. She licked her top lip but vowed internally to leave the bottom one alone knowing the drip would infuriate Sheldon's need for cleanliness. He reached over with a napkin but she pushed his hand away.

"Amy." He said solemnly

She lifted her chin towards him, sucked in her cheeks, turned and walked towards the bathroom.

"Vixen" he sighed.

* * *

**A/N ** They were supposed to go to a driving lesson but they wanted to play around instead. (next chapter)

Penny stops drinking and now she can get up early? Damn. That's her second strike first her interruption during their D&D session in Sheldon's bedroom and now here. I'll try to get control of that girl to avoid future SNAFUs.

I threw in that baseball stuff because that's just L.A. area living plus I like playing with Amy's background.

The quote is real- happened during a game in early June and Vin Scully is "all that".


	5. Behind The Wheel

**Author's note: **This was two chapters that I thought worked better as one. I'll be playing with time jumps next so hopefully you'll stay tuned. I'm still finding my way with this endeavor so your reviews are always appreciated.

**Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory and all characters, plots and creative elements derived from the source material belong exclusively to their respective owners.**

**I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

* * *

**"Please sweet little girl, I prefer you behind the wheel and me the passenger"**

**Behind the Wheel – Depeche Mode**

When Amy had returned from the bathroom Sheldon had presented her with the agreement addendum they had spoken about the night before the _Full Disclosure Clause_, as it would be known would go into effect that day. Sheldon had also presented a new outline of their physical contact parameters. The outline was two pages long and listed several subtopics beyond handholding including kissing, French kissing, touching, privacy and more. She had quickly noted that Sheldon had written verbose definitions of the various acts without any real reference to how they would present themselves specific to their relationship. Amy finally just chose to ignore the details and drew a mammoth x across each page.

Sheldon had raised his eyebrows but remained quiet as he watched Amy flip the pages over and write:

-x-x-

_All forms of physical contact shall be mutual, consensual and decided upon on a case by case basis. All PDA's and privacy levels will be determined based on the respect of the partner's wishes and bilateral agreement. __All milestones in said contact will be decided by and initiated by Sheldon Lee Cooper, aka the boyfriend. _

_Pre-approved list of physical contact:_

_Hand holding_

_Hugging_

_Cuddling_

_Kissing_

_-x-x-_

She signed the document with a flourish and handed it to Sheldon. He was not comfortable with the simplicity but was drawn to the last line that gave him complete control of their intimate physical progress. His old nemesis Fear gripped his chest. It was that fiery villain that injected him with the insecurity that he could lose Amy to some charlatan capable of giving her those things he often felt too debilitated to provide.

"Kissing?" he asked

"I just put it there so you know you won't have to ask."

"Oh," he smiled recalling Penny's inopportune interruption.

When he raised his eyes to meet hers he saw that her cheeks were a pageant of varying shades of crimson, she averted his gaze and only eyed the floor. Her hands were braced closed to her sides and he could detect that they slightly trembled. He often forgot her own innocence in these matters so it was because of this visual reminder that he signed his name with renewed vigor beneath her own signature, punctuating a personal determination that she would always remain his and his alone.

"I'll type it later. Let's go."

* * *

Amy stood before the open trunk of her car retrieving a paper from a backpack and a bottle of water from her mini-cooler. She was still not convinced that her beloved Sheldon Lee Cooper had been unaffected by eating a "germ" infected strawberry. Lately though he'd been surprising her in many ways.

A text from Penny interrupted her thoughts.

**A,**

**I expect details later!**

**Change of work plans. Have 2 w8 until Wed. to get 2gther.**

**Bern said OK. U?**

**-P **

**xo**

**P,**

**Wed. ok. **

**See you at 6 p.m. then**

**-A**

**xo**

She entered her car and turned it on along with the air conditioning then handed Sheldon the water and the paper.

"I present to you the Student Driver Agreement." She said with dramatic emphasis.

Sheldon read:

-x-x-

_Student Driver, aka Sheldon Lee Cooper agrees to the following parameters_

_1. Trust Amy Farrah Fowler, aka the girlfriend_

_2. see number one_

_Goals and desired outcomes_

_Emergency preparation_

_fun_

_Independence_

_mobility_

_Disclosure of lessons to social group will be solely determined by student._

_-x-x-_

"Amy, this doesn't tell me what your plans are for me."

"Sheldon, you just have to trust me. It is my hope that you can learn by just having some fun."

"You're right about emergency preparation. I'd have to agree even if you solely presented that one point. I did have to drive Penny to the hospital once and I even had to spend an afternoon in jail due to that incident because of an infraction that was not my fault."

"I've heard the story and I think it's kind of _hot_ to know I'm dating a bad boy who has spent some time in the slammer."

"Amy, it sounds like you've been watching way too many of Penny's reality shows." he chided while signing his acceptance and giving her a crooked smile.

Their eyes met, her heart fluttered but she gave herself a mental shake and reapplied her faculties to the task at hand.

Amy pulled out onto the road then asked "What are your paintball plans while Leonard is away? I know that usually takes up your Sunday mornings and I want to know how to plan for the upcoming lessons."

"Well, we have all agreed to play on alternating Sundays and Stuart will fill in for Leonard temporarily. Raj has agreed to pay his fees. We always play at 10:30 a.m."

"Rajesh is very generous."

"Stuart isn't quite as skilled a freeloader as Penny but with practice I'm sure he might get Raj to buy his entire store inventory from him."

"I seriously doubt Stuart is duplicitous."

"I didn't mean to imply that Stuart is deceptive. I meant to imply that Raj is a sucker."

"Like I said Rajesh is just generous. Hopefully, his new found voice will boost his self-esteem."

"Well that's enough of that."

Amy giggled to herself. _There's my Sheldon_. It was his trademark move if things were getting too "hippie-dippie" for his liking. He would end the conversation or change the subject.

While Amy watched the road he watched her. In particular at that moment he relished the fact that it was the first time he had heard her refer to him as _hot_ without the aid of alcohol. He liked knowing that _"he did it for her"_ as she once said in an inebriated state, though he wasn't quite sure what that meant because the "_it"_ that he surmised had yet to be broached. He smiled to himself ruminating on their morning fun. He loved those shared moments of playing with Amy. If it weren't for Penny he might have even kissed her. _Drat! How many times had that cornhusker been an invasion on his life._

Now he didn't know when opportunity and audaciousness would conjoin again. He had wanted to kiss Amy since the night of their first cuddle. He'd considered giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head but she'd had other requests that evening which quickly suffocated his desire for months and still made him anxious. He was no longer afraid of her germs or the kiss itself. She had proven even in sickness that her cooties were benign to his immune system. It wasn't the kiss at all. He was wary of - _the after_. There were three words that acted as a splinter since the day he'd first fleshed out his own amorous inclinations – _and then what_?

He cherished the drunken kiss Amy had given him to the extent that he would be willing to download it from his brain onto a memory implant and have it stored in a safety deposit box. He liked the way she had approached him, first with a slight warning then with almost cat like fluidity towards him. _Dear Lord, Why had she never tried that again? _ He would have been ready. He wanted a _do over_. He wanted to return a kiss, _that kiss_, sans alcohol of course but it had seemed like she knew what she was doing and he would have been willing to follow. She just never had. The only other time she had kissed him on the lips was the night he gave her the tiara but it was a different kind of kiss and Penny had been there, _drat_, again. The kisses on his forehead had also been nice but _drat_ Penny was there again!

_And Then What? _Avalanches are born from weakness and change threatens their instability. Until now kolinahr helped as he had managed his weaknesses but D&D and now Leonard's departure had brought a wicked catty-wompus into his life leaving him dangling on a precipice. Vulcan hybrid man or not the elements were conspiring to force him to make a move, a tumble towards upheaval. Another problem was that his thoughts had long diverted from the chaste, so he knew he'd be ridin' this snow-slide straight down to what his momma would call 'the devil's gate'. He once watched a PBS documentary that stated, "Nearly all avalanches are triggered by their victim, or someone in the victim's party." This morning all he'd wanted was a strawberry kiss. Just a tiny kiss, to prove to himself and to Amy that he was committed to progress. This he ventured to guess would buy him more time and so there would be no victims in this lustful avalanche, yet.

_THE STRAWBERRY!_

"We're finally here. Darn that ridiculous interstate construction. I should have looked that up beforehand but we're here now." Amy had seen his reaction. His eidetic memory had reproduced the scene of the half eaten strawberry. She was sure of it. His eyes bugged, his throat tightened, he began to cough. She handed him the water bottle he had put to the side.

Drinking and looking around his location Sheldon calmed. "Speed Zone! There's a mini-golf, bowling, an arcade and a Johnny Rockets!"

"We're not here to do those things but we can try them later if you want. Everything opens at 10:00 a.m. to the public. I wanted to have been here an hour ago but that darn construction."

She'd grabbed a backpack from her trunk and hurried to the entrance gate with Sheldon following quickly behind her. Pulling out her phone she called someone. Ten minutes later a park employee appeared and after showing a card and I.D. they were let into the Speed Zone Park. The family entertainment complex included five different go kart tracks and bumper cars. The bumper car area was where Amy led Sheldon to begin his driving lessons.

"Amy, I'm horrible even at Mario Kart. You know this. This is not going to end well."

"Part of the obstacle is your negativity. Mario Kart is virtual and we don't need you to master the virtual world. We need you to master Sheldon's world."

"In Sheldonia people don't drive. We have programmable hover-crafts of varying sizes. Just key in your destination and swoosh, you're there."

"Sheldon you know I meant Pasadena."

"Don't you think programmable hover-crafts would work in Pasadena?"

"Of course but _Back To The Future_ failed to materialize as planned so we are without hoverboards today. These bumper cars will have to substitute for now."

An attendant was waiting for them in the operations booth. Amy went to speak to the young teen and Sheldon could see that Amy tipped him some money. When she returned she opened her backpack and handed Sheldon a heavy tan vest that someone might wear on a safari.

"What is this?" he asked

"It's a weighted vest. Put it on and tell me how it feels." She directed

"It's heavy and feels like your boa constrictor hug but not as nice." He answered.

Amy smiled and absently caressed his forearm. "Is it too heavy? We can take some weight packs out and make it lighter for you."

"No, it feels fine but what is it for anyway?"

"Our previous discussions lead me to believe that part of your struggles with driving can be attributed to a sensory overload you have not handled. So I want to begin by giving you something that has been researched to provide calming and comfort. The calming should allow you to process the other stimuli more methodically."

"How did you manage to get us in here at this time? I like being here without the public." He asked while putting on the vest.

"A colleague at work told me her brother was manager and part owner of this franchise. I contacted him and he permitted me this favor. I thought you would prefer to start without anyone around. We have four more Sunday mornings between 8:00 – 11:00 here for practice before we head out to the real-deal."

"Well say no more my lovely sensei. What will you have me do now?"

Amy's heart and stomach were doing acrobatics but she forced herself to maintain an unaffected façade. _Keep it together Fowler getting lovey-dovey with Sheldon will just shut him down._

"What I need you to do get into the car that the attendant has picked. He chose the largest because I know your legs are too long for most of these but I think you'll be fine."

"Oh goodie he picked a red one."

_I love seeing my man-boy happy._ She thought while she walked over and wiped the car, the seat and the steering wheel with the disinfectant wipes she had brought.

Sheldon gripped his heart while watching her do this for him. _She knows me so well_.

He squeezed into the car. "It is a little cramped for my legs but there is room for my knees."

He buckled his seat belt while he watched Amy pulled out some mini orange pylons that she was placing eight feet apart.

"What else is in that backpack?"

"Just the things we need for our lessons. Now once you get control of the car I want you to drive around the pylons in an oval and then we'll move on to trying a figure eight."

"What do you mean get control of the car?"

"Well Sheldon, these cars are made for bumping and crashing not driving perfectly. You will need to get control of it because it is not calibrated for precision."

"Ready?"

He nodded and Amy signaled the attendant. Music blared, lights flashed and Sheldon crashed into the farthest wall. He was stuck and started smacking the steering wheel with his hands. Amy signaled the attendant to stop everything. She rushed to Sheldon.

"Calm down. Everything is okay."

"Amy, I'm stuck. It won't go backwards. A car doesn't work this way. This isn't going to work. I'm sorry. Don't be disappointed with me."

"Stop. Look at me." His face was flaming red and he refused to make eye contact until she lifted his chin towards her.

"Amy it won't work."

"Yes it will. Tell me, what bothered you?"

"The music, the lights and the steering wheel doesn't seem to control anything."

"Okay. I'm going to ask him to keep off the music and lights. Then try again. Please.

He nodded and waited for the current to start again. This time he managed to move away from the wall but was now stuck with spinning in circles in the same spot. Amy could see his frustration and asked the attendant to stop again. When she reached him he was starting to remove himself from the car.

"No Sheldon. Wait please. We are not done. Don't give up. You did better this time."

"Amy, how can you say I did better? Let's just go."

"We discussed this back when I was sick. We have to have an emergency plan where you're prepared to drive. In 'case of emergency' means there is going to be chaos. You need to be able to manage the chaos. That's why I wanted you to start with this first instead of in a regular car. Filter out all those things that are overloading your mind. Organize and control the chaos Sheldon."

He looked at how she was willing him and wanting him to keep going. Driving had never really mattered to him but he wanted to see her happy. He wanted to see her radiant smile. He sat back down in the car.

"Thank you. Now tell me what were the things that bothered you? What isn't working?"

"For one there is some infernal buzz coming from the antenna pole on the car and the grid transferring the energy. Secondly the accelerator is not making any sense and third the steering wheel sucks!"

"First wear these." Amy said pressing some noise canceling headphones into his hands.

"Secondly Dr. Cooper you are sitting here giving this measly little contraption power over your genius. You know that geometry, math and physics are at play here and yet you are not thinking about the angle that is required of your foot on the accelerator or the degrees of turn for the steering wheel to guide you backwards or forwards. You are letting it control you and allowing it to win. Use your genius Dr. Cooper and you will control the chaos."

He never thought she was more beautiful than at that moment. She didn't mock or pity him as he floundered but instead she made him feel like there was no way he could possibly fail.

"Ok. Power on." he said with determination.

After a bit of sputter where he was stuck in reverse for a minute Sheldon was able to manage the car and drive in circles around the cones for fifteen minutes. Then when Amy challenged he was in control enough to drive the figure eight route she wanted. Then Amy stopped things again.

"Now I want you to change cars. You're comfortable but can you control the chaos of a different car? The math may be different this time. Are you ready?"

Sheldon wasn't completely convinced but he said "Bring it on."

This time he managed the task with some trepidation at first but quickly mastered the skills he'd tried before. Amy took the last ten minutes of their time to jump into the first red car they'd used and proceeded to bump Sheldon around the track. Sheldon took off his earphones so he could trash talk and bump her around the rink until she was stuck where she couldn't move. The attendant told them it was time to go and Amy collected her things back into the backpack. They laughed and walked together towards the restaurant.

"That's twice today."

"Twice?"

"Twice that I've trapped you and left you powerless."

"You trapped me long before today." She quipped still looking towards their destination.

He took her hand and opened the door for them to enter the restaurant.

The hostess guided them to a booth in the back near the kitchen. The tuck and roll red naugahyde booth benches glistened along with the stainless steel and retro fifties décor. They were that day's first customers and the smell of cleaning liquids still hung in the air.

"This is perfect. I've read positive reviews about this location, everything is clean, workers are alert and attentive and their food products should be fresh at this time in the day. I look forward to coming here for the next few weeks."

"I'm glad you're pleased. I wanted to try an unorthodox approach that would address the sensory issues that I think are the real crux to your driving. You haven't taken off the vest. Do you want to leave it on?"

"No." He answered returning it across the table to Amy. "I forgot that I still had it on. I can't say definitively that it helped. How did you plan to measure its effectiveness?"

"Sheldon, I didn't set this up as an experiment. I would have told you first. So my only measure is asking you 'what do you think'?

"Well, it's not unpleasant so I'm not opposed to using it for the duration of your program."

"Didn't you ever ride bumper cars as a child?"

"Yes, every time the county fair came around. I just ended up stuck by a wall where everyone just kept crashing into me not letting me move even after the ride was over. Not a fan."

Once their food arrived hunger overcame their conversation and they ate quietly. Sheldon's eyes began to wander along her bare arms. Amy rarely went out without a cardigan and though he'd seen her this way before he noticed that the thin summer fabrics she was wearing now clung to her differently. The checked short sleeve sun yellow blouse and her scoop neck white cotton tank top were thin and almost sheer despite the layers. She twinkled a shy look at his lingering gaze but returned to dipping her fries in mayonnaise. His eyes roamed over to her bare clavicle and the memory of rubbing his fingers there a few months earlier. Straightening in his seating he found that because of his height he could see more than a hint of cleavage. When she suddenly leaned her back on the bench he feared she had read his thoughts.

"mmm good" he said taking a larger than usual bite of his burger.

"I'm going to order a milkshake for dessert. I was trying to avoid the temptation but I'm too weak."

"Me too." He added nodding his head still chewing his oversized bite.

As she leaned back he noticed how her breathing emphasized the noticeable hardness of her nipples. In his head he heard Wolowitz's voice saying _"check out the buds on those mounds". _

"Amy, you're cold!" he left his bench and slid in beside her putting his arm around her and rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

"It's the refrigerated air. I'm always cold at the lab and I get goosebumps anywhere that they have refrigerated air."

"I'm sorry I don't have my jacket with me."

"I'll be fine until I drink my shake. Unless you, let me take it "to go" in the car?"

"As the driver you cannot…"

"I know" she interrupted

They finished their lunch side by side with Sheldon taking moments to rub Amy's arms and in an attempt to keep her warm.

"Didn't your father ever try to teach you how to drive?" she asked trying to divert her mind from the electricity she felt from his touch.

"I spent most of my time too busy with my science education to be interested in driving but my father did take me driving. Two times to be exact. One summer when I was fourteen he took me to a house across town from our house because he needed to give someone an estimate for some house repairs. The house sat on a dirt lot and when he got out of the truck he threw me the keys and said 'drive yourself around the house for thirty minutes'. I tried but was too afraid of running over the chickens so I just sat there waiting. When he came out some harlot in nothing on but a dirty beach towel waved 'good-bye' to him from the front door. He told me to drive off the lot and I did but he didn't like that I was driving so slow so he just took over. When we got home he told my mom he was out giving me driving lessons."

"I'm so sorry Sheldon."

"The second time it was at the bar maids house but he told me to drive around the block. I just parked the truck and walked home."

"So he never really tried."

"There was a third time. I heard him telling my mom he was taking me out for driving lessons I was skeptical but I went with him anyway. I recognized the route was the way to house across town. When we stopped at a red light I told him 'I will not be a pawn in your fornication schedule' then I got out of the truck and walked home."

Amy was observing that he handled all the information with considerable detachment as if reading from a medical journal.

"Then when I was sixteen my brother tried to teach me because he and his friends were too drunk to drive home from my cousin's party. He sat next to me in the truck while his troglodyte friends rode in the truck bed. 'You know the only things that don't know how to drive in Texas, Shel-bot?' they kept yelling at me while my brother slurred his instructions. 'Steers and queers just steers and queers!' then my brother laughed and wouldn't stop."

"He didn't defend you?"

"I gunned it. I drove over a few lawns, knocked down some fences and some mailboxes. Those idiots bounced around like bingo balls at a church fundraiser but I drove home. And that was my last 'driving lesson' until our friends attempted their intervention by forcing me to get my learner's permit."

"Did you get in trouble?'

"My brother dislocated his arm but it wasn't my fault that he wasn't buckled. My mother only scolded me since she knew how my brother could act. And my father wasn't about to reprimand me about anything that had to do with driving lessons."

"What about the boys in the back of the truck?"

"Don't know. Don't care."

Putting her right elbow down on the table with an expression much like she had the night he had asked her to help him with advice regarding Priya. _'What's rattling around that big bulbous head of yours?'_ she thought this time to herself.

"Sheldon, do you mind if we play a word association game?"

"Go ahead"

"bananas"

"Really? What if I answer 'Amy' instead of monkeys?" they shared a knowing smile.

"day"

"night"

"dog"

"cat"

"long"

"short"

"cookies"

"Meemaw"

"quarrel"

"parents"

"chickens"

"danger"

"safety"

"vital"

"brother"

"drunk"

"sister"

"twin"

Amy continued a rapid fire of arbitrary words and phrases of varying subject matter until she had counted one hundred and forty samples when she then said, "driving lessons"

"betra-" Sheldon faded with a mumble not completing the word.

"What were you going to say?" Amy inquired watching as drops of perspiration formed above his right brow.

"I don't know. I lost my train of thought." He answered as he turned to survey the still half empty restaurant and seats behind him.

"Sheldon, I'd like to ask for full disclosure here." Amy pressed.

"Alright." He said placing his left elbow on the table to mimic her pose he then faced her matching the forthright look in her eyes. "I was going to say betrayal." He whispered.

"Hmmm. I see." She murmured while sitting up to smooth out a wrinkled napkin.

"Well, what does it all mean Dr. Fowler?" he asked trying to recapture her attention.

"Since I am not formally trained in the Jungian methods I can only offer you my personal insights on this exercise."

"Very well." He affirmed while licking and nibbling on his lower lip.

"Well, it is not new information. Meemaw is your answer for anything that has to do with comfort and sweets. You prefer to choose words that are oppositional and you have a negative opinion about both your brother and father." She did not mention her curiosity as to why his answer to _whimsy_ had been _coitus_ and to _bed_ he'd responded with the word _intense_. "Would you ever consider exploring analysis further with the assistance of a professional?"

He watched her as she took the final slurps of her milkshake, never taking her eyes off of his as she waited during a long silence for his response.

"Amy, we could stay here and debate an appraisal and worth of psycho-babble all day but we have some strawberries to can. Plus if you honestly consider me damaged in any way it falls under the relationship agreement Booboos and Ouchies Clause and **you** Dr. Fowler are supposed to _take care of me_." His voice had softened on the last four words as he reached to gently sweep a hair away from her face to place behind her ear. Their eyes locked and he leaned towards her tentatively brushing his lips against hers for a chaste tender peck before he rose to leave.

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews please. A little levity is on the way Penny and her posse need some time together.


	6. Call Me

**Author's note: **We interrupt this story for a digital communication interlude to keep Leonard in "the loop". Also I adjusted to a lower rating but I'll warn you before things heat up.

**Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory and all characters, plots and creative elements derived from the source material belong exclusively to their respective owners.**

**I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

* * *

**"Call me on the line. Call me, call me any, anytime"**

**Call Me – Blondie**

"Sweetie, It's sooooo good to see you. I've missed you so much." Penny squealed as she viewed Leonard's skype image on her laptop.

"I'm grateful that we will be able to video chat, otherwise I don't know how I'd make it through this expedition. Yay for the internet." He added with an awkward cheerleading pose.

"It's only been three days but it's been pure torture just knowing I'm not going to be with you any time soon. I had to stay your room the last two nights just to be able to get some sleep."

"I bet Sheldon wasn't too happy about that. Is he making you sign any type of agreement?"

"You'd be surprised at how happy he was this weekend. He's grumpy tonight, but I think it's mostly because he couldn't see Amy."

"So what have you been up to?"

"Well I've been working double shifts because they keep hiring these kids who don't like the job and then just don't show up for their next shift. I'm just glad that I can get the extra hours. I told my boss to pencil me in for all the weekends."

"What about the class you were going to take?"

"That will be on Tuesdays and Thursdays all summer. I asked to be off those days."

"Is Sheldon happy with his transportation schedule?"

"He doesn't have a choice. If he doesn't like it he can take the bus."

"I'll take that as a no."

"I'll let Amy worry about keeping him happy. Anyway, you're right about the Shamy doing crazy stuff if this weekend is a sample of what I can expect."

Leonard began giggling "I told you to be careful when you open that 4A door. Be afraid, be very afraid." His giggling was growing more intense. " What did you find them doing?"

"Oh, nothing like that Star Trek or pretzel thing. This is kind of kinky…wait that was kind of kinky too. Well this is even kinkier…sort of… or not…I helped them make a porn video."

"Double crap! Please, please explain!"

"Well first on Sunday morning I woke up in your room and heard all types of racket. I go to the living room to find chairs thrown everywhere, Amy's sweater is all torn up by the front door, her clothes and her hair are all messed up….and Sheldon was picking up a can of whipped cream off the floor! I'm still waiting for the details from Amy."

"Nooo! The world is not ready for anything like that but this is Sheldon so there should be some weird logical explanation because I don't want to picture anything else."

"Then when I came home after work I noticed an incredible smell as I walked up the stairs. I mean I've been around food all day but this smells great. I showered and just couldn't take it anymore because now I'm positive it's coming from Sheldon's. I go over there and they're getting ready to eat. They made some kind of roast chicken, potatoes and homemade biscuits! Get this - they made jars of strawberry jam and the giraffe wouldn't share a jar with me."

"I'm assuming you got it anyway but where's the porn part?"

"yeah, yeah- It turns out that Meemaw used to always make chicken for Sunday dinner so Amy has suggested that they make some sort of video cookbook of her recipes. Amy filmed Moon Pie making stuff but he'll probably just tell you that 'Amy made gravy from scratch' because apparently this is a turn-on for him cuz he said it at least five times and then they would do that eye thing every time." Penny rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth before stating with emphasis, "that eye thing is getting really uncomfortable. I don't know if I'm going to make it through the summer without telling them to just take it to the bedroom."

"Penny you wouldn't because they would both faint."

"Amy wouldn't…hmm yeah…she would…anyway I asked them who did the 'money shots' for their video. Clueless, clueless, clueless I could have just asked them to list the people from Duck Dynasty. So I explain to them about the reaction shots that's gonna bring them the viewers…the 'ooh ah so tasty stuff.' Sheldon's kinda iffy about it but my girl Ames tells me to be their blonde Nigella cuz she says it could be my breakthrough role. What the hell right?"

"Is that good or bad?"

"Seriously, I didn't have to act at all, everything was soooo good. The gravy was killer so I kinda get that it was giving Sheldon a woody and I'm gonna tell Amy to use it as a perfume cuz she's just gonna have to do whatever it takes instead of this stupid stuff about him 'going at his own pace' crap!"

"And when can I expect to see the blonde Nigella video? I'm kinda getting a woody myself."

"Hey-yah, you're right we could take advantage of this project for our own naughty secret messages. Muuuuahhh. " she says tossing him a sultry kiss. "I'm gonna have tell Amy we need to sauce it up. I'm not done though cuz after dinner I'm helping Sheldon clean up. We both think Amy is editing the video on the Mac. I go to check things out and she's working on some gifs from when Sheldon was mixing and kneading the dough. I figure she's doing some stuff for her Tumblr to promote the cooking video but she says it's for her phone. She called it her 'personal porn'. And thanked me for the idea."

"Sheldon making biscuit dough is her personal porn?"

"Crazy right? She says 'his hands and forearms are sexy'! Gag! I told her to just quit coming up with these projects for Sheldon to think about otherwise he won't have time to think about having sex."

"You realize those puzzles, games and projects are their version of sex."

"You're thinking like Sheldon, not Amy. And get this. After dinner we watched a movie that had to match the chicken theme. So we watched Chicken Little. Hah!"

"It actually sounds like you had a fun time."

"You know, I guess I did. I slept in your bed again but I'm gonna go ahead and stay in my bed now so I brought some of your shirts and boxers over with me."

"It sounds like you're a little wound up. Is everything okay?"

"I'm good. It's just that I spent most of the evening with Raj. It was just the three of us tonight, Sheldon, Raj and me because Bernie and Howard had family over for dinner at their place. This was Sheldon's first night without you or Amy and he was an ass. Complaining about everything of course and Raj is still upset about Lucy so he's still kind of weepy, which makes Sheldon more of an ass."

"Sorry. I'd hoped he'd last at least a month before you flushed him."

"Tell me about you. Any motion sickness so far?"

"I've been taking the pills so it's under control. I just haven't felt like eating much and I'm still messed up because of the time change."

"Sweetie then I better let you go get some rest. Text if you can. I love you."

"I love you too. Let's plan to skype on Wednesday night. Okay?"

"Okay." Penny closed the laptop and went to bed. Before shutting down her lights she received a text from Leonard with the message.

-x-x-

**Pleasant dreams.**

**Love, L**

-x-x-

Attached were two photos of his arms and hands. She laughed as she nodded off to dreamland.

* * *

Leonard did not mention to Penny that there was a ten hour difference in time zones and it was actually time for him to start his day. His bunkmate had told him he liked to exercise before breakfast so he was on deck attempting some laps. Leonard took the opportunity of having privacy to call Penny. So while it was 9:00 p.m. Monday night in Pasadena, it was 7:00 a.m. Tuesday morning on a research vessel floating in the North Sea. He was about to get out of bed when his chat light blinked. It was Sheldon.

"Hey buddy, how are you doing?"

"Quite well, aside from the caterwauling between Penny and Raj it's been a fine three days. It's good to see you haven't been washed off the deck and you seem to have avoided the muted pea-green color that accompanies sea-sickness."

"I've stayed medicated and the seas have been calm so at this point I can function. Today is our first day of team meetings. You'll be glad to know that yesterday was safety day. We spent most of the day taking a tour of the vessel and learning safety procedures…"

While Leonard went on about the safety protocols Sheldon's mind wandered to a new concern that he wanted to discuss with Leonard. A new disturbing phenomenon had occurred on Sunday whereby as his brain had impure thoughts about Amy he would hear Wolowicz's voice. On the plus side it had acted like a cold shower but on the other hand he found it abhorrent that Wolowicz would have anything to say about his girlfriend sexually. It had happened while he admired her lovely cleavage, when she pinned her hair up before they started cooking and when she bent over to check the food in the oven. He was pleased to learn that Wolowicz would not be attending Monday night's Thai dinner as he wasn't certain he could keep himself from giving the puny engineer an undeserved thrashing.

"…Sheldon. Sheldon is everything alright? You look like you're worried about something. Is it your transport schedule?"

"No. I'm just fatigued it's past my bedtime. I'll let you get on with your day. Is this a good time to communicate?"

"I still don't know my long-term schedule. I'll answer you by email. Good-night, buddy."

"Have a good day Leonard."

* * *

Before retiring to his room Sheldon, who had not heard from Amy since pre-evening when she had let him know that she would be stuck at work, sent her an urgent text.

-x-x-

**I'm still awake.**

**Please call or Skype when you get home.**

**-S**

-x-x-

Amy had just walked into her apartment and was seated at her home computer frazzled from her day but had just remembered she had not emailed Leonard a Monday report she had promised him after his going away party. Leonard had become a caring and empathetic friend since she had become Sheldon's girlfriend. He had often taken the initiative to sooth Amy in moments of Sheldon's insensitivity with kind words like '_Amy he didn't mean that', 'He doesn't understand what he's doing', 'Amy he would never ever intentionally hurt you', 'let me go explain to him'. _

Over time they had built a quiet rapport where she would caringly pat him on the back with words of encouragement like _'hang in there bud', 'she loves you, she's just a little phobic of commitment', 'give her time', 'stay strong bud', 'this to shall pass'_ In one particular moment right after their roommate debacle she went to retrieve her purse from his apartment. He had stopped her and said, "You and I are kind of in the same boat, just riding wherever the wind takes us with these two."

He was thrown back by her emotional response when choking back tears she said "No Leonard, your boat has a sail and the possibility of capturing some strong gusts. Mine is sail-less and rudderless all I can hope for is some kind of current. I'm just hoping it's not a whirlpool."

She was on the verge of releasing a torrent of tears when she witnessed Leonard crying for the first time. He had wanted to tell her, tell her everything he knew that Sheldon had shared about how much he really cared for her but instead he compromised and stayed loyal to both. He hugged her and they shared a long firm embrace. As they parted she said, "You know this has nothing to do with my moving in with him." He nodded and said "Believe me no one understands that as clearly as I do."

Weeks later after Valentine's Day she would hold and caress the Emergency Contact form and wonder if Leonard had said anything to influence Sheldon's gift.

Now staring at her computer screen she decided to just send a short note to her BBE – _Best Buffer Ever_. Leonard had laughed when she called him this having just told her she was going to have the toughest time out of everyone with the burden of looking after Sheldon** and **Penny.

"Don't worry BBE, the Honey-badger and I got your back jack."

She didn't want to tell anyone about the "gossamer kiss" as she had decided to call it but currently she was impulsively considering sharing the news with Leonard. Concluding she simply had been too busy and drained in the last 48 hours to relish the moment or even pen her thoughts about it in her diary she opted to write this instead:

**Dear BBE,**

**The subjects displayed their usual restlessness and intolerance of each other. Once fed each one felt satiated and they were able to settle into a peaceful truce. Not much else to report other than our bodacious blond specimen will be assisting on a project that may work for both our benefit. I've attached said project sample for your attention. **

**Be well and say hello to the Kracken.**

**Regards,**

**AFF**

Leonard was more than happy that morning when he opened the email file labeled _"Blonde Nigella Project vol. 1"_ and decided to stay in bed a little longer.

* * *

By the time Sheldon reached his bedroom his laptop buzzed with Amy's special ring tone.

"Sheldon sorry I missed you tonight. It was so hectic at work they're pulling on me to clean up some new problems with the addiction study. There was another poop throwing incident with a team member plus inferior data reports and now they want me back. I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon to discuss the matter but for today we had our struggles with some belligerent primates who don't like the new routines set up by the current project supervisor."

"Amy, you look extremely stressed. I wish I was there so I could make you some tea. My day wasn't as difficult but this evening's company left much to be desired without you. Could I meet you for lunch tomorrow?"

"Sheldon, I don't know what to expect tomorrow. Could I text you in the morning?"

"That would be acceptable."

"I just walked in my door fifteen minutes ago and I'd like to shower and go to bed."

"I understand." It was not lost on Amy that his eyes had become droopy and he was no longer making eye contact.

Bereft and exasperated she coaxed, "Sheldon, quit holding things back I'm asking you for full disclosure. What are you thinking right now?"

He noticed her intensity and hesitated before he said, "You first."

Amy who was exhausted and functioning on her last drops of adrenaline blurted, "I missed you all day. I miss you now but I'm hoping that I'll dream about you."

His eyes and heart leapt, "Ditto to every word you said and I want us to dream that we are at the aquarium watching the fish swim so you can relax."

"If we're cuddling in the Tropical Pacific Gallery it will be perfect." His smile matched hers as he watched her spirits lift.

"Good-night, Amy."

"Good-night, Cuddles."

* * *

**A/N:** The Aquarium of the Pacific is located in Long Beach and meets all the qualifications for a Shamy hang-out. I'm having a creative block on what to call the Shamy video production company and what "special ring-tone" Sheldon would have for Amy. Your ideas and reviews will be appreciated.


	7. Cruel Summer

**Author's note: **Thank you to all of my followers old and new. It's so exciting to know I have story followers! This is a long chapter that played in my head like an episode, expressing it in words was tough but I tried. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I throw in myself.**

* * *

** "It's a cruel, cruel summer, leaving me here on my own, **

**it's a cruel, cruel summer, now you've gone." **

**Cruel Summer – Bananarama**

"So Penny, where are you taking us? I would have been happy to drive?' asked Bernadette while she looked warily at the check engine light.

"I'll explain when we get there. I just really needed to do this and I hope you'll understand." Penny responded

"oooh sounds mysterious." Amy said from the backseat as she glanced at Bernadette with a look of shared conspiracy.

"Amy, you're the one who needs to tell us why Sheldon couldn't keep his eyes or hands off of you during dinner."

"Penny, I was going to ask the same thing. Don't think we didn't notice how he kept rubbing your leg tonight." Bernadette affirmed before adding with a sing-song chant "someone's turning red."

Amy's blush caused a thin coat of perspiration across her face. "Sheldon and I haven't seen each other since Sunday. We have barely had a chance to text and skype. He was just… what do you mean he couldn't take his eyes off me? I was sitting right next to him."

"Ames, he usually just tracks you. He checks out your butt, sees where you're going then turns to talk. If you're gone for more than five minutes he checks your position then turns to talk or argue depending on his mood. Tonight he wasn't talking to anyone as long as you weren't near him his eyes were locked on you."

"I like that. He's a tracker and Amy you are his prey" purred Bernadette.

"I still find that hard to believe but he has been very sweet lately. We had a heart to heart talk a few days ago and we both decided to communicate better with each other. "

"Ames, you two communicate more than any couple I've ever known. You must text each other at least one hundred messages a day."

"Howie and I text on average about thirty and I thought that was a big number."

"It's true on most days we text all day but on matters about us as a couple we just don't say much. You know how he is always saying 'I'm a physicist, not a hippie' he just shuts down and avoids the topics."

"So did you have to put your foot down or did he agree easily? I'll guess put your foot down. Right? "

"I didn't put my foot down we just talked. And we both agreed to do better. He is not solely to blame. You girls know I keep a lot of hurt to myself instead of telling him."

"Because Ames, you don't put your foot down or kick him in the butt like he needs. I get that he might freak out because he would rather be homeostatic – is - sis, whatever, it's not fair to you."

"So the hand on your leg is that new?" prodded Bernadette

"No, since Howard's lift off, Sheldon has initiated hand holding and a double tap on my knee. He usually taps when he agrees with something or it's time to go."

"Cut the bull! We're not talking about tapping. We're talking about him rubbing your leg! On top of that you never gave me the details of what you two were doing when I caught you playing with whip cream on Saturday?"

Bernadette gasped at Penny's revelation and turned in her seat to face a squirming Amy, her wide eyes demanding an answer.

"I smeared some whip cream on his nose and he wanted to get even. That's all. You know how competitive he is so I ran and knocked some things over. Then you came in and surprised us."

"I surprised you alright but the looks on both your faces wasn't about competition."

"Is the Shamy getting steamy?" teased Bernadette

"No." Amy stuttered willing herself to look innocent. "Look ever since Sheldon cared for me when I was sick he has been more altruistic with touching. He admitted to me that he wants to try to move forward and he has little by little. And he was barely touching my kneecap. You make it sound like he was rubbing up my thigh."

Bernadette smirked and raised one eyebrow high above her glasses making Amy blush again. She knew Bernadette hadn't told anyone about the bath Sheldon had given her on the last night before he found out the truth. As with many of their girl only discussions Amy had learned that Bernadette was judicious about what she shared, even with Howard, and she could rely on her to keep a confidence.

"Al – what?" Penny grimaced at Bernadette

"Unselfish." She answered to clarify. Penny mouthed a silent "oh".

"Sweetie, that makes me happy that he is finally moving forward. I hadn't seen him since Monday and he was a big grouch because you missed Thai night. What's going on at work?"

"They want me to return and direct the nicotine study because they're not happy with how it has progressed since I was removed. I've been swamped with that and the new research I was starting."

"That's good right? It's what you wanted? If not remember I could help you could get a job at my company in a heartbeat if you're not happy at the university."

"Thanks Bernadette it's good to know that I have options but my heart is not in the private sector."

Penny was slowing the car down searching for a parking spot. Bernadette noticed that the neighborhood seemed tattered and worn enough to deter tourists but welcoming as they where surrounded by brightly colored bungalows and shops. She lowered her window to let in the briny air. "Wow. I haven't had a chance to come to Santa Monica in a while. I don't think I've ever been in this area."

"Vintage shops! I love vintage clothes. Oh, we're going to have to come back during the day when all of them are opened." Said Amy gleefully as she bounced in the backseat and surveyed the street.

"You know Ames, Forever65 is not the same as vintage."

"Just so you know, vintage is actually what I'm going for but I'm in need of some guidance."

Penny parked in front of what looked like an historic Spanish style apartment complex. The faded red saltillo tile roof contrasted against the buildings turquoise blue. Its wide arched entrance suggested a courtyard and was framed by decorative wrought iron that held several signs.

-x-

Paper Doll Vintage

Racer Boy Tattoos and Piercing

Moon Star Incense, Oils and Jewelry

Speakeasy Dance Studio

Grateful Head Salon and Spa

Beach Blanket Babes

Sisterhood Photography

Expresso Yourself Café

The largest sign hung at the bottom and read:

_Ms. Susanna's Psychic Readings and Cleansings_

* * *

"It was good to see Amy again. She seems to be spending a lot of time at work lately. I haven't seen her since Saturday and I need to discuss some tests she had mentioned for me." Raj chimed as he sorted through the latest arrivals at the comic book store.

Sheldon frowned and added "That may have to wait as their ladies night usually ends after midnight and all are highly impaired upon their return."

"Not tonight, they didn't take a taxi. Penny said they were going to check out some fitness classes for them to take a couple of times per week. I hope they find something good then maybe I can join them and try to get my figure back."

"A couple? A couple of times per week! Amy doesn't have time for such nonsense. She is already working long hours and now this? She has a schedule to maintain with me."

"Sheldon, face it our women are smart, talented and highly in demand. Heck, Bernie works late at least twice a week, every week. You'll just have to get used to Amy choosing work over you. It's not like you give her anything to look forward to. I hate it when Bernie comes home so worn out that we don't get to play hide the salami. A problem you'll never understand."

"Please do not ambitiously refer to your organ as cured deli meat. We know Dr. Rostenkowski has a preference for nano organisms." Sheldon retorted followed by his gaspy laugh.

Howard responded with a surprised look then nodded with slight admiration. "I'd be angry except I'm impressed that you got that reference and joke right."

"Sheldon Cooper never put anything or anyone above himself or his career. It's good to see that Amy is giving you a taste of your own medicine. She is a saint and the god Ganesh will bless her for having stuck around this long. Sometimes I feel bad because we set you up and all you're doing is stringing her along." Raj lamented ignoring the previous exchange and sniffing the pages of a newly opened comic.

"I am in no way stringing her along I have been straight forward about the paradigm of our relationship from the beginning. The relationship agreement stipulates that we are mutually supportive of our professional endeavors so this is not as you say 'Amy giving me a taste of my own medicine.' I'm just concerned that Amy's affinity for the subjects of her study clouds her ability to detect the undercurrent of a power play stemming from the shifting of positions within the administration of her department. You must remember what it was like when Siebert came on board and then Gablehauser to direct the physics department. The brown-nosers jumped out of the woodwork searching for the highest title gluteus to kiss. Neither Amy or I have the skill or patience to dance around the chamber pot known as faculty politics so they zero in on us."

"The part about her affinity sounds an awful lot like your relationship beyond that I don't want to picture anyone dancing around a chamber pot. And as I recall your big mouth and refusal to 'dance', as you call it, got you fired." Howard snickered.

"Her monkeys probably treat her better than you any way." Sneered Raj "They probably like hugging her at least."

Howard stepped away from Raj scanning his friend incredulously and baffled by his tone of animosity.

"Enough!" Sheldon snarled "Why is it you two are so obsessed with my relationship? This is the kind of interference that upset Amy on the night we played Dungeons and Dragons!"

"Dude, she was upset because she realized it's not worth it waiting for your crazy ass!"

Stuart hearing the argument walked over and requested they "keep it down" but his presence went unnoticed.

"You're just jealous and have always been jealous that I'm in a functioning committed relationship! The longest female relationship you've had is the one with your phone!"

"The only correct word in that statement is 'committed'! **You** should be committed! Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper cannot correctly solve the equation is your ego greater than or less than having someone in your life that loves you! Oh wait. There is no equation because that ego blames the germs but you know damn well those germs don't really exist! Amy should '_maintain a schedule'_ with someone who respects her enough not to spread false dirty rumors about her!"

"I'm going to have to ask you guys to take this outside" Stuart pleaded.

"Well. Well I bet you still can't talk to women. Go ahead there is one checking out the Detective series." Furiously panting and eyes bulging Sheldon pointed to the brunette in the opposite corner of the room while Raj refused to look in any direction except at Sheldon's face. Sheldon turned and stomped away slamming through the front door.

A stunned Howard reprimanded Raj. "What the frick got into you? I thought you were going to punch each other. And you're the one always telling me to control myself with that crazy bastard. Now we're going to have to scour the neighborhood before he destroys something or hurts himself trying."

* * *

Amy and Bernadette assured Penny that they would not judge her in spite of what they believed. If she felt the need to visit a psychic they would just go along with her for moral support. She pulled them in for a group hug and led them through the arched entry to the courtyard. The smell of spicy incense and citrus mingled in the air. At center we're two large orange trees protruding through the tiled floor that provided a canopy over the coffee shop tables and the chatter of customers who wanted to eat in the open air. To the left the girls followed the sign for the Paper Doll Vintage through some rustic French doors.

"Hey Dolls. Welcome to the store." Said a heavy set lady with hot pink hair pulled into a bun. "lookin' for anything special?"

"No," answered Penny," We're just going to the back to meet with Susi."

"Sure. Just don't forget to ring the bell"

"I'm wondering," says Amy "where your 1930's and 40's selections are found. My Great Aunts Flora and Clara used to wear the most wonderful clothes."

"Those are over by the fitting rooms and if you're interested my home-girl next door just received an order of thirty different era swimsuits. They're Esther Williams style remakes."

"Howie would love it if I showed up with something like that!"

"It's settled we'll go over there as soon as we're done here. See this is the kind of dress-up I can enjoy", bubbled Amy as she looked around the store.

"Ames, you've never said that you liked this sort of thing. I would have brought you here a long time ago. No wonder you never buy much at the mall."

"I do love that era. I have several albums and photos of both my aunts since they spent time in the entertainment business. I'll show them to you someday."

"Amy, you've hardly told us anything about your family. I'd love to see those albums."

"Me too", added Penny

They approached a red door labeled Madam Susanna and rang what appeared to be a doorbell. With a click the door opened and a petite tattooed 'Rosie the Riveter' in a red tank top appeared, who then gave Penny a big hug.

"Nena! I knew you would come. I lost your number but I was mentally summoning you and now you're here!" said the voice with a hint of a Latin accent.

"Wow. I felt like I needed to come see you but it was for a different reason. Susi let me introduce my friends this is Amy Farrah Fowler and Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz." Both gave a friendly 'hello' but were distracted by what was around the room.

There was little to suggest it was a place for psychic readings. Aside from the small desk in the middle of the room it could have been mistaken as a music room as instruments from around the world were hung or displayed on shelves along the walls. Amy's eyes rested on a shelf were she noticed something familiar.

"I bet you have a boyfriend that plays the bongos?" Susi mentioned

A giddy Penny responded "Her boyfriend does play the bongos!"

"Does he play them naked?" Susi inquired raising a brow and making Penny and Bernadette laugh.

"I hope", deadpanned a blushing Amy

"My sister is a social anthropologist and says she wants to do a study on why men like to play the bongos naked. I told her that may be an academic paper I'd finally read if she will include pictures"

Everyone laughed and Penny pulled out Leonard's shirt and a hoodie that she had brought in a bag.

"I came because I need a reading."

"And your friends are they customers or skeptics? Don't answer I can always spot my skeptics."

"Well they are both. I wanted them to see your photography for an idea I have in mind. Guys, Susi is not just a psychic, she is also a photographer and entrepreneur."

"Also I'm a food, music and business blogger and reviewer. You may have seen my reviews under SantariaSusi37. If you need a cleansing involving sage or eggs then I'm your girl. If your problems are so severe that we need to involve chickens, I have my grandmother step in to help. I have a pretty decent following and I own this complex."

Amy recognized the name and immediately filed that morsel away for when she could tell Sheldon he had been taking the advice of a psychic.

"Penny this place is like all the things we love condensed into one location. The three of us could spend a lot of time here. It could be our clubhouse." Offered Bernadette "What kind of photography idea did you have in mind?"

"Well Ames sort of gave me the idea to send Leonard something to keep him thinking about me. So I thought maybe I could send one of those pinup posters like soldiers would have for their lockers. I need some new headshots for my portfolio so I thought Susi could help me with both."

"A special beauty like yours deserves a whole calendar. So do you want us to help you pick out the clothes or poses?" quizzed Amy who was intrigued by any idea that could be considered a project.

"No. I thought the guys would like to have pin-ups of you too!" Bernadette nodding enthusiastically smiled and began to dance but Amy doubled over saying "no, no, no".

"Why not Ames? Let him see what he's missing."

"Nena, listen to the newlywed. It's not something that is going to hurt you and it will probably help your situation along."

Amy didn't want to mention that Sheldon had already seen most of what he was missing and it hadn't made any difference. She suppressed the sudden need to cry but added "If I do it then it's just for me because I think it would be fun. Agreed?" Her friends nodded and smiled but the initial happiness for all of them was now dulled.

"Listen nenas it sounds like all of you could benefit from my sister's dance class that starts at 8:00 o'clock in the basement studio. The class is called 'Find the Sexy You' it's a dance journey through some of the sensual dance styles in history. Nothing like the twerk and grind this is classy sexy. How 'bout it eh? Que dicen?"

Amy was the first to answer "Yo digo que sí.", followed by the others resounding,"Yes!"

"Penny, why don't you take care of your reading and Amy and I will get our gym bags to change and then meet you at the bathing suit store. The class starts in thirty minutes."

* * *

Gripped by anger Sheldon had walked from the comic book store three miles in the opposite direction of his apartment. When he realized his error he looked for the nearest bus stop and sat down to regain his composure.

_They're all against me. First Bernadette and now Raj It's because she said they were like family. They want to take Amy from me. She spends too much time with the girls. They all want her to leave me. I __**am**__ a bad boyfriend. I need to tell Kripke the truth. Raj is right. I don't deserve her. "I'm the best girlfriend you're ever going to have" I don't ever want another girlfriend I only want Amy. I am trying to make her happy. I kissed her. She makes me happy. She's going to leave me. She's not leaving me, she understands me. I will kiss her again. They don't know anything about our relationship._

"Sheldon!" yelled Raj, who ran up and sat down next to him. Sheldon barely seemed to register his presence as he wallowed in self-pity.

"Sheldon, look I'm sorry I lost it."

"Be aware that I still want to punch you. You have no business in my relationship with Amy."

"I disagree because I set you two up. I must be a godfather or something. Listen I messed up with Amy too. She's offered to help me many times and I've just blown her off. Then when she gave me advice about Lucy I ignored her. Considering all her success with you it was foolish of me. Then she helped me plan a course of action to help Lucy and I did my own thing anyway. Lucy even told me Amy was right."

"Amy is a patient and understanding woman."

"She told me to be patient with Lucy but I couldn't do it. If I would have listened, Lucy might still be with me now."

"I accept your apology."

"And quit being a douche like you were on Monday night."

"I was not a douche. You and Penny played nothing but Ms Pac-Man and cried all night. I just kept reminding you that it was not vintage video game night."

"Dude, you just lack the empathy to appreciate the love story of Pac-Man and the Ms. I made it to the level where the stork drops off the baby. Besides we didn't just play Ms. Pac-Man we also watched a movie."

"You watched Titanic! Titanic! What else was Penny going to do but cry? You could have at least chosen a documentary version. Then maybe I could have avoided having two weepy people in my apartment!"

"Penny **picked** the movie! Are you ever going to understand the importance of romance? I'm also willing to admit that you were right. I am jealous. I wish I had what you and Amy have. You don't realize how lucky you are that you found each other on the first try."

"Okay, but now I'm in need of a beverage."

At that moment Howard pulled up in his car. "Sheldon why the hell would you walk in the opposite direction? We've been looking for you for over an hour. Both of you get in, damn it!"

"Dude, we need rootbeer floats."

"Double scoop rootbeer floats, please." added Sheldon

* * *

The girls returned to Penny's apartment before the boys were back.

"That was the most fun I've had in a long time. I'm going to wait a few weeks before I show off the dance routine to Howie."

"Let's just say it's a dance class and not the other part." suggested Amy.

"We have to say that it's ladies only or Raj will want to come with us", chuckled Penny "Now I've been dying to ask, don't you think Susi is the 'real deal?'"

"She is very nice. I like her style but if you're asking if she is a real psychic you're going to be disappointed because there's no such thing." offered Amy while admiring her new one piece red polka dot bathing suit that she was holding in her hand.

"How can you say she wasn't real? She knew your boyfriend played the bongos."

"A psychic of her type is actually more like Sherlock Holmes. She needs to have keen powers of observation and deductive logical reasoning. She seems to be a master of both. If my pupils dilated or facial expression changed when I saw the bongos she could've just made an educated guess."

"Well, how did she know that Bernadette was a newlywed? There's just no way she could tell", Penny pouted.

"My hyphenated name for one," offered Bernadette

"The luster of her wedding bands is still fresh."

"No. No. Come on guys I know she's the real deal. Plus she gave me plenty of good news."

"Do tell", smiled Bernadette

"For now Leonard should be having a safe and fun time. She's not getting any negative vibes. Second her boyfriend is a stunt man in a new indie film and they need actresses and an assistant make-up artist. I have an interview and audition next Friday."

"Bestie, you would make a great make-up artist!"

"See. I knew I needed to go see Susi. I'm glad she telepathically summoned me." Amy held her tongue when she heard this and tried not to roll her eyes. Instead she continued to listen. "So what do you think of my gold bathing suit for the poster? I want to go back and buy a two piece."

"I don't think I've ever found two bathing suits that fit me at the same time but I loved the floral prints I bought. Penny, I think you would look good in the two piece cheetah print."

"Yes. Bestie next time get the cheetah two-piece then you and Leonard can play Tarzan and Jane. I like both of my prints but do you think I should have picked another color other than red for the checkered pattern?"

"Red!" blurted Penny and Bernadette in unison.

Penny turned on her laptop and was searching Youtube for some music. "I think we should practice the routine a little more, let me find the song."

"Girls, we have a problem", moaned Amy "now where are we going to wear our suits? I am not prepared to go anywhere in public. Am I going to have to lounge around my apartment drinking whiskey sours while listening to Etta James?"

"I'd do that with you, but don't worry. I have a plan." Bernadette assured.

* * *

As the guys were approaching the fourth floor landing all three paused to decipher what they were hearing.

-x-

_Sexy can I, just pardon my manners_

_Girl, how you shake it _

_Gotta playa like whoa_

_-x-_

"Good lord, are they singing?" griped Sheldon "Raj, I thought you said they weren't going out drinking."

Raj who was in front stepped up to the landing and began dancing and singing along with the girls.

-x-

_It's a Kodak moment, let me go and get my camera_

_All I wanna know is sexy can I_

_Sexy can I hit from the front..._

_-x-_

Hearing him Bernadette opened the door and Penny stopped the music.

"Hi, boys."

"I've brought milkshakes for the lovely ladies. So sexy, can I?"

"No you can't but we'll take the milkshakes", answered Penny opening the door wider to pass the shakes around.

"Thank you Rajesh" added Amy

"Amy, what are you wearing?" asked a stunned Sheldon, "Were you attacked by a rabid squirrel?"

"Oh, my workout clothes except the girls cut up my sweatshirt to give me the Flashdance look."

"She was a ma-ni-ac Sheldon, you should have been there to dance with her" teased Penny

"Muy caliente, Sheldon" giggled Bernadette as she exited to kiss Howard, "good night ladies. Come on Raj."

"Shawty, can you and I use that song for our lullaby tonight?" asked a leering Howard.

After bidding Penny goodnight Amy went across to 4A. Once in the apartment Sheldon did not hide the fact that he was scrutinizing Amy from head to toe.

"Did you go out on the street like that?"

"Well from the dance studio we came here. I don't see a problem. My capri pants and tops are more than most girls wear at the studio or on the street."

"I've just never seen you wearing something that snug. Maybe, if your tank top and sweatshirt didn't stop at your navel. You should get one that goes past your waist."

Amy remembered what Penny had said earlier in the evening and decided to act boldly. She spun herself gradually 360 degrees, throwing her chin over her shoulder so she could watch his eyes. She felt tingles over her entire body as she saw his stare follow her derriere and legs.

"Well do you like it?"

With a loud gulp he answered, "I don't like that other men might like it."

Amy frowned but let the subject drop. She had hoped for another kiss but knew that in her sticky sweaty state Sheldon would be the least likely to have this idea.

"On Saturday I need to start sorting out my things to find donations for a benefit garage sale my building is having in a few weeks. First I need to go to IKEA to buy a bookshelf and a step ladder. Do you want to go with me?"

"Absolutely" he smiled "I need to purchase a new lamp for my office at work. I'll help you organize too. I'll have my label maker ready but won't I see you before then?"

"Friday definitely but tomorrow I'm not sure. I'll text you. Right now I need to get home so I can jump in the shower. Pleasant dreams."

"Good night"

She gathered her things and went out the door. He followed and stood in the doorway. She stopped to hand him her empty shake cup "could you throw this away?"

He nodded but didn't move from the doorway. Right as she was about to take the first step down the stairs he called her.

"Amy"

She stopped and turned.

In a loud whisper he said, "I like it" then blushed and went back into the apartment.

* * *

**A/N:** _ SantariaSusi37_ was mentioned by Sheldon in the last scene of episode 6.9

_Nena _is a spanish term of endearment in some countries that can mean girl, girlfriend, chick

If you Google **Clara Ann Fowler** you'll discover an interesting factoid I stumbled upon while writing this story, so of course I had to include it.

If you Google **Esther Williams Swimwear** you'll see what the girls purchased.

I hope TBBT doesn't just drop the Kripke lie from episode 6.14 because it wronged Amy but I don't think Sheldon will come to clearly understand that on his own.


	8. Every Little Step

**Author's note: **I'm writing on post-its, notebooks and napkins. I wish I could get this out to you sooner but life gets in the way. Here is another long chapter to show my commitment to my followers. Please review. I appreciate you.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

* * *

**"We'll always be together any kind of weather. Just like that, just like that.**

**Every little step I take, you will be there. Every little step, we'll be together."**

**Every Little Step – Bobby Brown**

Thud!

Clank!

"What fresh hell is that?" complained Sheldon

"Sounds like one of your neighbors is moving furniture and dragging things upstairs." speculated Howard as he was selecting his Counter-Strike weapons.

Thud!

Clank!

Thud!

Clank!

"Dear lord, why couldn't they do that during the day? Raj, as a spectator in this round you can go check what that ruckus is about," ordered Sheldon.

"Are you telling me or asking me? Didn't we talk about your douche-iness?" Raj asked before going to check on the noise.

Friday night classic game night had been going smoothly with Raj and Howard but the girls had chosen to have dinner together and go shopping. This had soured Sheldon's disposition as he had spent the prior evening without Amy, who was once again caught up in her extra duties at work. He recalled how their first few months as friends they had communicated solely electronically but now he needed to see her and be near her regularly. Last night Amy had not been keen on skyping after her shower so instead she asked him if he would mind having what she dubbed as "pillow talk" by simply talking to each other on the phone. They spoke laying in the dark of their rooms for ninety minutes and it lulled Sheldon into a peaceful slumber once they were through.

tch, tch, tch

tch, tch, tch

"I'm putting this on pause. Raj was supposed to handle this!" groaned an irritated Sheldon who stood up to go look into the hallway. What greeted him was a gleaming smile from his girlfriend who was dragging an unidentifiable object up the stairs.

"Hi, Sheldon," his automatic response was to return her smile and follow in her direction.

"Amy, wait. What are you doing?' she was out of sight when he heard a bossy voice behind him.

"Move, Sheldon"

"Dr. Rostenkowski, what are you and your confederates fabricating?"

"If you must know General Lee, _my_ confederates and I want a taste of high society so we are fabricating our own private pool and oasis. Surely your cotillion training mentioned something about the ill manners of leaving a lady to carry a load while you stand about and do nothing."

"Let's have it," he sighed and Bernadette handed him a large patio umbrella which he took up the stairs to the roof. Behind him he could hear the sappy exchanges that often left him queasy.

"Bernie, I thought I heard you."

"Hi Howie-wowie, come help us and I'll give you some sugar."

Howard curled his lips lustfully to respond, "I'm a slave for you my sweet". Then Bernadette led him downstairs to retrieve some foldable chaise loungers.

"Penny, this is perfect. I don't know why we haven't done this before. I can transform this into a magnificent oasis of beauty for relaxation."

"We need a bar, Raj. I didn't ask you for beauty, I just asked you to figure out how to put a bar up here."

"Who came up with this ridiculous notion? You need permission from the landlord? You need to verify that the roof can support the weight of the pool and the other nonsense you plan to construct. You may need a permit. You need to secure everything from the elements and would be thieves" grumbled Sheldon who was now certain that classic video game night was going to be ruined.

"The answer to the first question is 'I did' and I got the landlord's permission by bartering some house and baby sitting duties, checked the blueprints with an architect friend, we don't need a permit and I happen to be intimate with a knowledgeable engineer who can advise on the rest" fluttering her lashes at Howard she pulled him close for a kiss.

"Bernie, did you say baby-sitting?" hissed her worried husband.

"Yes, but certainly not by me. I've already made arrangements."

"I have so many ideas! I can make your bar and any other furniture we need from the pallet projects I've saved on my Pinterest. Then we can plan for a Koothraparty!"

Amy and Sheldon who had been quietly smiling and staring at each other were startled when Raj had clapped for joy.

"Amy, did you have any part in this?" questioned Sheldon.

"Yup, she did cowboy. It's all because she bought a new bathing suit!" shouted Penny.

His eyes opened wide and he looked at Amy who was glaring at Penny giving her a "shut up-look" with her eyes. He looked back at Penny who was repeatedly raising her eyebrows at him with an evil grin.

He tried to shift all thoughts by saying, "A pool will be terribly unhygienic. Even with that pump it will be nothing more than a sluice of dead skin cells and microbial vermin. I would advise _you all_ to reconsider."

"Now wait a minute" requested Howard who had now switched to MacGyver mode, "we can add a sodium chloride filtration system to sanitize the water. The pool is only three feet deep and big enough for eight so it would take only a small solar panel to power the system."

"We will need a solar panel to power the music system, mood and task lighting," interrupted Raj.

"You need power for the mini-fridge," inserted Penny.

While the discussion continued Amy had begun to neatly organize the tarps, chairs and umbrellas that had been carried up. Sheldon helped her but his mind was on the idea of Amy in a bathing suit so he stole glances at her trying to imagine. _What did it look like? What did she look like in it?_ He had spent two nights having nocturnal emissions about her in and out of her workout gear this week and now this?!

He had occasionally had this problem after his first kiss with Amy but it had been rare that he remained unconcerned, certain that he could reign in some control. After she had worn the medical officer uniform to 'play doctor' he had found the need to schedule bi-monthly sessions of self-abuse to curb his nighttime explosions. His concerns had risen the first few weeks after 'the spanking' and 'the bath' when in spite of his bi-monthly maintenance, he had to change his sheets almost daily for a month. He had made two different appointments with some urologist only to cancel them each time. He had had more incidents in that month than what occurred throughout his entire puberty so while he hoped there was a medical cause, deep down, he knew the truth. "Unresolved and repressed situations" as stated on the medical websites were usually the cause for wet dreams in adult males.

"May I offer you some tea?" Sheldon asked but before he could finish the question Amy had taken his hand and led him downstairs.

"Sheldon, I have some good news. My proposal for a personnel budget has been approved and cleared. I will finally be able to hire my own assistants for my projects."

"I told you that you were too valuable to their department for them to risk you searching for opportunities elsewhere." Sheldon prepared the mugs and Amy sat on the stool watching him.

"Oh, I didn't have to strong arm them as you suggested. I simply pointed out that Faisal's grant would not automatically renew if there were any major staff changes in the nicotine study it funded. The university would need to reapply to his foundation and that would take months without guarantee of approval."

A black cloud formed over Sheldon as he handed Amy her mug. She noticed and reached to caress his forearm. It was not enough to remove the gloom he felt from hearing _that_ name.

"On a positive note, now that you are in charge of hiring assistants, I'll assume you will not be missing any more date nights, young lady."

"Missing date nights was your habit this was a first for me."

"Amy, in the spirit of our full disclosure agreement I can tell you it was never about being on a date with you. I just didn't like the idea of doing new things and going to new places that you wanted to try. As for dressing up you know I'm not a fan. I will say I enjoy being with you every second." As she sat on the stool smiling into his blue eyes she felt waves of emotions rippling from her heart. He stepped closer to softly kiss her temple then dig into his pocket "I want you to have this", he said offering her a key, "I should have given it to you a long time ago."

"You're giving me a key to your apartment? Will Leonard be okay with this?"

"I've informed him in my last email and I have added it to the roommate agreement. I want you to feel you may come and go as needed. I am more trusting of you than the careless cornhusker that comes barging in as whim strikes…" at that second the door burst open and with everyone rushing in and the honey-badger being first in line.

"Amy you better go, the wind is really picking up and rain has started to fall. It might be a bad one."

"We secured everything and drew a schematic for 'La Cantina de Los Robles', Raj and Penny will be in charge of supplies."

"We will be ready for an official grand opening on the 4th of July, bitches!"

"Just us Raj" Penny directed "No one but us. When Leonard gets back then we can have a bigger party."

"Agreed" chorused the group except Sheldon who didn't want any 'party' or the pool as he sensed he was losing his fortress of solitude.

"I better go" said Amy who purposely brushed by Sheldon so she could give his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll be by to pick you up at 9:00 a.m. I'd like to have a cinnamon roll before we shop." Sheldon waved and nodded. Amy's smiled to herself as she went down the stairs. _Two kisses! Two kisses! He's being honest without my asking __and__ he's kissed me twice __and__ he gave me a key to his apartment! My snuggle-bunny is really trying_. She completely missed the conversation Bernadette was trying to have with her and answered with a "huh?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Just drive safely," winked Bernadette as they parted ways.

* * *

-o-o-

At 9:00 a.m. sharp Amy picked up Sheldon outside his apartment building.

"Good morning, Amy. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. The smell of the rain helped put me to sleep. I needed to thank you for the key. We didn't get to finish our conversation last night but your trust means a great deal to me."

"I meant what I said. I should have given it to you a long time ago. I also didn't get to tell you that I received a call from the young lady named Melanie who was at the Children's Museum."

"Was she calling for another moment with Professor Proton, Jr?'

"Yes she was. She was asking if I would be interested in hosting some fun physics lessons on Saturday mornings this fall. What do you think?"

"I'm flattered that you would ask my opinion but I'm not the one that would have to perform. That would be up to you. Is it something you want to do?"

"Amy you are the one that encouraged me to create the Fun with Flags web show. I would have been stuck with all that vexillology knowledge if it wouldn't have been for you. I want to know that you are with me on this also."

"Sheldon, what are the details? What do you plan to do?"

"She called for my address so she could send me detailed information. When I read it then I'll decide how to move forward. I know I want to create a Professor Proton, Jr. show but if you are not interested then I want nothing."

As Amy parked a lump formed in her throat and she wondered if he understood the depth of feeling he was expressing. "I would be happy to help you" she said swallowing her tears.

"Very well, then let's go have that cinnamon roll. I only ate half my usual oatmeal this morning so I would have room for all the yummies from here!" he exclaimed jumping from the car.

Their leisurely snack led to leisurely shopping. Each was enjoying the functional design of everyday items. It was a busy Saturday but in the early morning the shoppers were spread apart and unharried. Sheldon had selected his new desk lamp and was practicing his Swedish by reading the light bulb packages, when the relative quiet of the lighting department was broken by Amy, about 8 ft away, who hollered.

"Penis!"

Two of the six people in the area looked at her oddly but continued on with their browsing. Sheldon looked up wondering about the reason for the outburst.

"Penis!"

A third person a young girl in her late teens began laughing and joined Amy by yelling

"Penis!

Before Amy could repeat Sheldon rushed and grabbed her by the waist. "Amy what has gotten into you? Control yourself! Isn't this against social convention?"

"Penis!" yelled a fourth person, the young girl's friend.

"Penis!" yelled the other.

Amy could not contain her laughter from the girls' response and Sheldon's pained expression.

"Sheldon, It is just a social experiment. I remembered I saw that in a movie once and I wondered what would happen. Sorry, I didn't give you prior warning, it just came to me. Maybe I should have been more original and said that magic word that you said to my mother."

Puzzled Sheldon asked, "Magic word?"

"Vagina!"

Sheldon placed a hand over Amy's mouth, lifted her slightly off the ground and began dragging her to an 'apartment' display area. He could hear the girlish giggling behind his shoulder. When he found an uninhabited space he put her down.

"Leonard warned me about saying those words but I never understood the fuss over using anatomically appropriate language. I do know that I should not let my girlfriend behave like a lunatic no matter what she is yelling." Looking down at her he noticed that her palms were on his chest and she was slowly and gently sliding them vertically. He wondered how two sensations could coincide, comforting and electric.

"Penny and Bernadette have also reprimanded me about saying _period_, _menses_, _tampon_, _labia _or any genital reference in public conversations_._ Apparently they are offensive and yet both of them say _fuck_ on a regular basis. Well, mainly Penny but still."

"Amy Farrah Fowler, I think it is your morning coffee talking. You should have not had a second cup and you should not go around saying" leaning close to her ear he whispered "_fuck_".

Amy felt a sudden wetness between her legs. At no point could she have imagined that today her boyfriend would be 'talking dirty' in her ear. The best part being that he had a firm hold on her and was still pressing her to his chest.

"Why are you whispering like that?" she didn't dare mention that it was revving her motor.

"I was raised in a Christian household and my Ma and Meemaw would be horrified if I said something like that out loud."

"Well most people wouldn't be. I bet if you walked over to the restaurant area and yelled 'rectum' more people would be offended than if you said 'fuck'. Let's try it and see what happens but first we better check for children." She tried to move from his arms but he squeezed her closer.

"No. Neither one of us is going to yell rectum or _fuck_" once again repeating the word as a soft whisper in her ear. "I plan to eat copious amounts of meatballs there later and do not wish to be banned."

"Copious amounts?"

"Yes. I'm not here often so I allow myself to indulge."

"Oh, I'd like to indulge also but I think two meatballs would be enough." She smiled wryly.

"Two meatballs could never be enough. Amy!" he gasped realizing her meaning from her teasing eyes and impish expression. He released her instantly and gave her a quick playful smack on her left buttocks.

A shocked Amy put her hand to her mouth then turned to scold him but a group of meandering customers began entering into the area. She stepped close and softly poked her index finger into his lower sternum and whispered.

"I hope you realize that you are conditioning me to use inappropriate language."

"I hope you realize that you are conditioning me to behave inappropriately with you." He whispered in reply. Each stared lovingly into each others eyes for about two seconds until Amy broke and said "Win, Win' which had them both blushing and laughing.

"I'll meet you in the linen area. I have to go back and gather my lamp." Sheldon grinned as he left.

* * *

-o-o-

It took them three hours to do their "shopping" because they ended up inventing a game Sheldon now called "The Interview Game", where in the interviewer would ask three questions and the other person was to answer each using only three words or less as a character from Dr. Who or Downton Abby that the interviewer would have to guess for points. They played several rounds alternating turns as the interviewer on the various living room displays and they had several "guest" appearances from onlookers who caught on and wanted to join in, a favorite had been the elderly lady who did a perfect Dowager Countess and the kids who wanted to try a Harry Potter version. They had lost track of points but over lunch agreed it would be fun to present the idea to Howard so they could enjoy his library of impersonations.

Back at Amy's apartment Sheldon had dragged and pushed a box containing a new bookcase. She waited for him with a pitcher and glass of fresh lemonade.

"Aah perfect" he said as he let the cool sweetness slide down his throat. "I'm glad _your_ elevator works."

"Thank you for your help, Sheldon."

"Do you want me to put it together?"

"No. Not today I need cull all my books first. I'm going to throw out all the textbooks and professional journals dated prior to 2008. I've been saving boxes for sorting that I've labeled them _out_, _keep_ and _review_." Stripped down of most her layers she appeared in a t-shirt ready to set herself to work, first by going into her kitchen to clean up and put her purchases in order.

Sheldon started pulling out her books from the shelves to assess and organize. He came upon Amy's high school yearbooks and sat on the couch to study them closely. In her freshman yearbook there was a solitary picture of her with pigtail braids, glasses and a closed mouth smile. The signature pages were blank except for a single script inside the front page.

_"Dear Amy,_

_ Self-respect and a hymen are better than friends and fun._

_Love, Mom"_

Sheldon nodded thinking the statement was pragmatic but he wondered what her mother would think of _him _now even if he did agree with her advice. Amy hadn't asked him to meet her family since he had skipped out on Aunt Flora's birthday party. And he had never met her mother in person after the ruse they'd perpetuated together.

He then looked at Amy's sophomore yearbook where her class picture was almost identical to the first except her chestnut colored pigtails were longer. He did find another picture of her in a group photo with the debate team, her hair up in a bun but without a smile.

"Amy, you were on the debate team?"

"Ugh yes. What are you looking at?" she walked and looked over Sheldon's shoulder,

"The short guy on the right was Terrence Mitchell, he was a senior. I was supposed to compete at the state tournament but two weeks before he stole my research files to give to his girlfriend from our rival Hancock High."

"Did you report him? Did you get even?"

"I didn't know it was him until I went to state and saw her with my folders and pieced the two together. He had offered to carry my things to my mother's car and he had switched them out. I drew her as my opponent in the third round. Pity for her just because she had the research didn't mean she knew what to do with it. I obliterated her and advanced."

"That's my girl."

"I confronted him and he said he knew I didn't really need it as much as she did so I should 'consider it a kindness' on my part! My team sponsor sided with Terrence saying that he was a senior it would be a negative mark on his record. That we won so no harm was done. It was awful. I was so disgusted that the next year I didn't rejoin the team."

"Of course they didn't fare as well," asserted Sheldon as he closed the book.

Amy went back to the kitchen and Sheldon picked up her Junior yearbook. Her class picture was of a girl with Repunzel-like hair, loose and flowing. She still wore glasses but her face finally softened with a small toothy smile that barely hinted of the gleaming smile he adored. He was astonished to find her in the picture with the cross-country team. His index finger caressed the photo of her long ivory legs in tiny track shorts. His mind drifted to her nakedness on the night he helped her into the bathtub. He didn't want to leer like some depraved pervert taking advantage of his sick girlfriend but of course he had peeked. She was _his_ girlfriend.

There were a few signatures saying _"Have a great summer", "Stay smart and funny", "Don't do anything I wouldn't do"_ but nothing personal or dirty like in his sister's yearbooks. Until on the last page on which he found,

_"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. _

_I couldn't have survived it without you Birdie-girl. _

_Love, Archie"_

"Amy, **who** was Archie?" the anger oozing in his voice, "and why is he calling you Birdie-girl"

"Archie called me Birdie-girl because he called everyone by their last names. His father was in the military and he had acquired that habit. With me, instead of calling me Fowler he opted for Birdie-girl. He was also a genius whose special favorite thing was programming and building robots."

"He couldn't have been a genius of my caliber," stated a jealous sounding physicist.

"No, I don't think he was but he had only gone to elementary school and been home schooled until that year. His parents wanted him to have a 'high school experience' so I was only with him that one year. "

"Did you date?" Sheldon stuttered.

"Pfffft. He was eleven and I was sixteen. He was the one person I could tolerate longer that thirty minutes and I understood his situation. As you know, older kids do not tend to appreciate a little kid with a high IQ. Archie was also a prankster so we enjoyed having fun."

"Are you still in touch with him?"

"No. We were pen-pals for years. He graduated from Boston University and then MIT but he died of Leukemia before his twentieth birthday."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It was sad but I hadn't thought about him in years."

Amy put away the dishes and unfolded her new step ladder.

"Your hair was marvelously long that year."

"I hadn't cut it since seventh grade. I loved my hair and I began to wear it loose. My mom said I would be mistaken for 'the whore Lady Godiva' if I didn't cut it or put it up," laughing Amy continued to recall, "so of course I wore it loose until somebody cut it in class."

"What? You were assaulted!" Sheldon rose with the yearbook and joined Amy by the kitchen.

"It was a varsity cheerleader initiation prank. A girl name Jenny Tomlinson sat behind me in Calculus and would try to cheat off my work but I never let her. Then one day she cut about ten inches off my hair. I wouldn't have noticed it so quickly except my girl Sonia jumped up and shoved her out of her desk and started cussing like a drunken sailor in two languages."

"Did you get retribution?"

"She was suspended. Her friends and the cheerleading squad were punished for having an initiation ritual so I expected that they would make my life hell except that I believe Sonia and her pals jumped Jenny or did something to intimidate their group."

"Who was Sonia?"

"Back then she was called a chola. She had long poofed up black hair, severely drawn black sharpie eyebrows, blue eye shadow and lips outlined with black or maroon lipstick. For awhile I rebelled against my mother by wearing that maroon lipstick around the house. Though their lips were only outlined not filled in, to compliment her east L.A. gangsta attitude. Her and her friend Shy had transferred or had been bussed. I'm not certain why but we had an influx of new kids my last two years in high school."

"Sounds unsavory"

"Not at all. Sonia and Shy were honest, blunt and funny. We were all outcasts. I helped them pass chemistry and they taught me all the bad Spanish words, street-style. They even took me cruising once with their boyfriends Puppet and Panda. I was able to ride in cars that were 'bagged', that's street for low-riders that could hop. Literally hop along the street like a spider on a hot plate. They put all sorts of hydraulics and mechanics into those old cars."

"I thought you couldn't tolerate anyone more than thirty minutes."

"Sonia would tell her homies - 'this is Genie, she's cool'- 'Genie' was short for genius," Amy explained, "then we would talk about their cars and they ended talking more about physics, math and engineering than the kids in my classes. It was a revelation."

"Fascinating. So Penny was not the first bad influence you had for a friend?"

"It's not the same. Penny is my Bestie, a confidant, a partner in crime. Sonia was just an acquaintance, a classmate, we talked at school not on the phone and we didn't socialize off campus except for a few times. I guess, maybe she _was_ a friend and so was Archie. Hmmm. In hindsight maybe things weren't as bad as I thought."

"Amy, I've never known any of these things about you. I know about your professional accomplishments, your mom and that you have many cousins but not enough about the rest of your family or your own past. Why haven't you shared this sort of thing before?"

"You've never asked and have you have made it clear that you don't care about my stories on more than one occasion."

"How can you say that?" then reconsidering his stance "Okay maybe I've _alluded_ to that but I meant your stories from people at your work not stories about you. I tell you stories about me and my family all the time."

"And I love to listen."

"I've been willing to listen too."

"Nope, you have been blunt in saying you don't care how the story turns out or cutting in with '_can we just move on'_. That is one of your favorite phrases."

Alarmed by the truth of his callousness towards Amy, Sheldon went back to sorting the textbooks. Amy watched him knowing he was being evasive but didn't give the discussion enough importance to pursue. Sheldon couldn't overcome his curiosity and he sat back on the sofa with Amy's senior yearbook.

In her graduation picture she wore the traditional black cap and gown, honor student award ropes and new glasses. She showed a lovely smile but still not the one that could light up a room. This time there were several photos of her as a member of the cross country team. One of her running, emphasizing the shapeliness her medial and lateral calf muscles that Sheldon loved to admire, and one of her apparently completing a race. In the latter her signature smile was evident, as if the experience had given her enormous joy.

"You never mentioned that you were a jock," Sheldon teased as he studied the finish line photo.

"I ran for the cross-country team and I have not heard of any high school where that elevates you to 'jock' status."

"Were you any good at the sport?"

"I could run. Running, because it can be a solitary sport became one of my favorite hobbies. For me cross-country was about running against the clock, my last best time and not the other person running next to me. So to answer your question, I wasn't winning any meets but I did letter my senior year."

"What do you mean it became a hobby? Did you keep running after high school?"

"To clear my mind, to help me organize my thoughts I ran regularly until," Amy stopped to ponder the date by walking and sitting next to Sheldon on the couch, "I guess, shortly after I met your mother."

"Why did you stop?"

"I preferred to run on tracks, not the street, so I would run at the university after work. When that track was crowded I ran at the nearby high school but it was getting overcrowded too. I ran less and less until I stopped. Plus I developed an unrequited crush on a theoretical physicist and that distracted me."

"Oooh," Sheldon nodded uncertainly. "And how did that crush turn out?" he asked almost bashfully.

"Still unrequited," Amy blurted, bounced up and returned to the kitchen, on her way grabbing some new baskets that she was going to set above her cupboards for decorative storage. Sheldon had turned to put the yearbooks in the _keep_ box when he stood to look back at Amy, the sight of her gave him a jolt that made him zip to her side.

"Amy! You cannot stand of the very top rung of a step ladder. It even says so on the warning label!"

"Sheldon, I almost fell because you startled me not because it was dangerous."

"One does not kid around with safety now give me your hand and get down from there," he said with furrowed brows glaring up at her as she turned to hold his hand. She lowered herself cautiously from an awkward position, so he offered his second hand. On the last rung he noticed that she was now almost at eye level with him. She lifted her head to thank him for his gentlemanly behavior but he abruptly stepped in close and lowered his lips to meet hers.

His lips were stiff at first but quickly softened when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.

In the initial shock Amy's hands went up and paused in mid-air before settling on the back of his neck. Her lips joined the warmth of his fitting perfectly and succumbing to his loitering rhythm. His fingers delicately traced along the small of her back up her arms to her wrists, perched behind his neck.

He stopped to draw a breath, his blue eyes blazing at hers when he said pointedly, "Your feelings have never been unrequited, never."

The underlying pull of what they meant to each other drew them into another kiss.

It lasted long enough for Sheldon to lift Amy from the ladder, turn and place her softly down. She encountered an unprecedented phenomenon of multiplicity. Scattered about her apartment were a dozen duplicates of herself all staring back at her, each one breathless, each one befuddled and each one asking, "Did that just happen?"

* * *

**A/N: **Idea sources: Amy likes to drop gang and slang phrases once even calling Penny "P-Dog" so of course I had to give those things a root cause. Also Amy receives invitations for events from people at work regularly so I don't think she wasn't/isn't as completely devoid of friendships in her life as she believes.

In episode 6.4 during game night she is the one that suggesting playing water polo. That gave me the idea that she must have a history with sports.

I choose the chapter title songs for the story based on their lyrics but in this case I've also chosen the song because of the video. In my TBBT daydreams I have wanted another dance number and I think it would be fun if they remade this video. Now I'm rambling.

Next chapter will be short but up soon.


	9. Rush, Rush

**Author's note: **Enjoy

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

* * *

**"What I'm saying is I'm in to you.  
Here's my story, and the story goes, you give love, you get love  
and more than heaven knows."**

**Rush Rush – Paula Abdul**

The kiss had been one of the most monumental moments of Amy's life, she had expected to be happy, but she was ecstatic. Then wave after wave of pent up emotions both joys and sorrows that she had swallowed, resulting from their three plus years together, anchored themselves upon her chest not allowing her to breathe. Quite simply, she panicked.

Sheldon had taken it upon himself to put up the baskets on top of the cupboards as Amy had planned. When he returned to the floor he put the step ladder away. He saw her frozen in place and called her name softly.

"Amy"

Without a response he walked up to her, gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned slowly with both hands clutched to her heart and opened her mouth to speak. No words came. She closed her mouth, looked lovingly at her boyfriend and tried to telepathically send him her thoughts.

_"Sheldon, If I talk, I'm going to cry. I'm going to bawl big snotty tears and not stop."_

Sheldon's own twitch of panic was beginning to sneak up on him. He guided Amy by her elbow to the couch, once sitting in their spots he asked her, "Is everything okay?" She nodded, mouthed _yes_ but was still rendered mute.

This set Sheldon off in a spasm of twitches and rapid fire babble.

_"Did I offend you? You said I didn't have to ask for permission I been working toward this you were okay with the other kisses _ _I've been wanting to but if I was wrong look at me maybe I should have waited I thought you would be happy I need to tell you that you make me happy _ _maybe I should have planned for it everything is better with planning was it that bad? Why can't you talk to me?"_

In a déjà vu moment she leaned across the couch towards him until she slowly kissed his lips once, twice and then a third time. He calmed down, took a breath, scooted towards her and kissed her again. The fact that this was indeed happening almost unhinged her and a single tear beaded down her cheek.

"Amy, please don't cry," Sheldon begged, "I don't know what to do"

She patted his knee and went to the bathroom. Where she put the toilet lid down and sat to give herself a pep talk.

Amy opined for a while that their relationship had been on a permanent plateau, but in one month they had begun a brisk ascent. This, thought Amy, was not a good time to discover that she was afraid of heights. She was not complaining. It was what she wanted. They were just ahead of schedule.

Sheldon's habits, routines and obsessions had been comforting in their ritualistic predictability, but so much of what had transpired between them lately had been unfamiliar. Now his kisses had affirmed reciprocal affection leaving them like atomic particles and the Uncertainty Principle, the more precisely a position is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known. '_Oh no!' _she thought_ 'when did I start thinking in terms of physics first!'_

She should have seen the momentum. The signs had been there. Their playfulness had been more tactile and suggestive since the D&D game. He had become infinitely more affectionate. He had kissed her before for goodness sake, she hadn't wanted to overreact and shut him down instead she chose not to react at all. She was perfectly willing to accept those tiny pecks and hugs for months without any additional promises. The Sheldon she knew was not impulsive or someone who would allow himself to be driven by emotions, or god forbid, desires.

_And now what?_ What could she expect? What would he expect? _'Pull yourself together Fowler!'_ She told herself. _'Go out there and behave like a grown woman, not a weepy damsel you have been known to mock.'_

Sheldon silently paced by the bathroom door and then started to organize the books as he had begun earlier. When Amy returned her vocal chords remained on strike so she helped him. They were used to having evenings without talking and this is what that became as they worked side by side, carried refuse to the dumpster, sorted, dusted, tidied, both set on finishing the task they had planned. They both found comfort in their mundane activities, their nearness and shared koala smiles.

When Sheldon's stomach rumbled he offered to make them both grilled cheese sandwiches. Amy declined and pulled out a new package of double stuff Oreos instead. "Amy, Oreos are not a proper dinner," Sheldon scolded but seeing her near tears again he softened and poured them both a glass of milk. They ate in silence until the package was empty.

"Amy, I need to go back and do my laundry. Are _we_ okay?" She nodded and rose to get her keys and purse so she could hide the tear caused when she heard him say "we". _'Damn you weepy damsel, go away'_.

Later when they arrived in front of his apartment building he turned to speak but stopped, reached over and turned off the engine.

"Amy, I wish I could comfort you with the right words but I know I'm prone to saying the wrong thing. I hope I'm not being a bad boyfriend for leaving you but I sense you need some time alone."

Amy leaned to kiss him on the cheek.

"Will we still continue as planned for tomorrow?" he asked smiling.

She nodded.

"Alright then, don't forget to text me when you get home."

-o-o-

_Knock, knock, knock_ Amy

_Knock, knock, knock_ Amy

_Knock, knock, knock_ Amy

It was 6:30 a.m. she had showered and needed to dry her hair. Dressed in a denim skort and tank top she opened the door. There she found her boyfriend, puffy eyed and hair askew carrying a duffle bag of paintball gear and a garment bag.

"Sheldon, what are you doing here? I was due to pick you up at 7:30."

"I couldn't wait and Penny had a breakfast shift so I asked her to drop me off," he answered putting down his gear on the left wall by the front door. "Amy, you can talk! Thank goodness!"

"Sheldon, I'm sorry about yesterday, I just didn't know what to do," and then by putting both hands on her cheeks she tried to hide their redness. "I'm just nervous and embarrassed."

"I'm nervous too but why are you embarrassed?"

"It's that-that-that," she stuttered covering her face completely, "I've been so wanton and coquettish with you on several occasions. I admit I wanted a reaction but knowing that you would do nothing but reprimand me made it amusing. I've acted like I know what to do but I don't know about any of this and I don't know what to expect."

"Amy, I think I would have noticed wanton."

"I don't."

"Then, like when?"

"When we cuddled and I told you about second base, when I asked you to take me to a hotel room, when I showed you my bikini wax. Just to name a few."

"On the first two you were impaired by emotions and alcohol. On the last one, I thought it was just weird. I don't know why you had to show me all those band-aids. Now as far as coquettish do you mean like when you twirled for me the other night?"

"Yes."

"Welllll"

"Well what?"

"Uh. Okay, here it goes," he grimaced before finishing, "I like it," he paused, "I may not always understand what you are saying or what you are trying to do but you get an impish twinkle in your eyes that I find delightful. The best part of any of it is that I know it's just for me."

"Of course it's only for you. I've never even considered any of that behavior necessary or even in my wheel house. It's just an impulsive display to gain _your_ attention."

"I know and my visceral reaction to your flirting is that it makes me feel extremely possessive of you. You're _my_ girlfriend. You're mine," he whispered then cautiously sweeping some damp wavy hairs away from her face he asked, "Now can you explain to me why you couldn't speak to me?"

"I know you don't like weepiness but I was overcome with emotions because I never thought we would reach this point, at least not yet," she answered biting her lower lip.

"Amy, I said I wanted you as my girlfriend and everything that goes with that and I fully intend to work my way to that goal. Now last night I was doing some research on couples and kissing." He drew out some documents from his duffle bag and sat on his spot.

On her couch Amy tucked her feet under her but rose to her knees to kiss him on the cheek, "So you don't regret it? You don't want to take it back?"

"Take it back? Not in the least but I did write up an addendum to our relationship agreement," with a heavy sigh he added, "See your earlier revision was too broad. It is somewhat obvious to me now that we both need to define boundaries or guideposts to help us navigate the physical component of our relationship. The research I did, spoke of how the habit of kissing is beneficial to a couple's relationship as well as their health. So I would not be opposed to a regular 'hello' and 'good-bye' closed mouth kiss."

"Not be opposed? No. Sheldon If you are forcing yourself to do this then we need to forget it. No kissing at all, until or if ever, both of us want –," his lips on hers stopped her from speaking further and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Shortly afterwards he pulled away to speak, "You don't usually doubt me. Why aren't you convinced that I want this too?"

"I'm barely getting used to the idea that you're willing to touch me," she began to sob quietly, "that alone has caused me some psychological bruising, even though my neurobiological training tells me it's not personal."

"That's because your female goofy juice gets in the way of smart Amy who understands me." He watched his fingers glide through her hair as she buried her head in his chest. After a few moments of quiet he tried to make her smile by adding "I bet that TSA agent was wishing the bruising you gave her wasn't so personal."

When she heard his gaspy laugh she couldn't help but chuckle and wipe her tears. "You had to bring that up. I still feel terrible about ruining that trip."

"My point is that you don't care for impromptu touches either, unless it's from me or someone you are comfortable around. I'll add _that_ on the 'only for me' list."

"Okay, I've always admitted that we share a lot in common. And now what?"

"Exactly. Those three words have been giving me nightmares and I need smart Amy to help sort out a plan. As I said before closed mouth 'hello' and 'good-bye' kisses shall be a non-optional requirement, unless we are in public or among our group whereby discretion is priority."

"Sheldon, why are you saying 'non-optional'?"

"So that if you're mad at me, a kiss will help you reconsider."

"Hmmmm. This doesn't sound very scientific. Where are you getting this information?"

"Redbook. Mom and Meemaw have always sworn by their advice."

Amy snickered but was adept enough to know that questioning Meemaw and Mary Cooper today was non-optional. She took the documents from his hands to read. "You want us to time our kisses? And you're limiting us to only those two lip kisses."

"Well, yes. Anything longer than five Mississippi may lead to chaos. Just like if we allow any more lip kissing. I'm protecting both of us from things we're not ready to experience."

"It doesn't mention anything about non-lip kissing. Is that unlimited?" she asked raising one eyebrow.

"Like when you peppered my forehead with kisses?" he watched as Amy nodded. "Then I say the limit should be two each."

"ten"

"Amy, we are not planning on making-out yet."

"twelve"

"three"

"eight"

"four"

"Where do I sign?"

Before the ink had dried with both signatures Amy asked, "So tell me smart guy, yesterday you said I make you happy. Is that true?"

"Very true," he answered smiling at the renewed brightness in her eyes.

"So did you plan on kissing me yesterday?"

"No. I've been wanting to but the moment and my nerve have never worked together. So it just happened."

"I see. So you understand planning can easily be overridden by physiological factors."

"Of course but our planning helps keep those factors in check. Now finish getting ready while I make breakfast. I have a driving lesson and then you need to drop me off at paintball."

"Hang on. I have three spontaneous kisses left and I plan to use them."

"Now? All at once?"

"mmmhmm" Amy nuzzled close to Sheldon's neck and placed a soft kiss just below his right ear and then combined a warm breath with her two remaining kisses down his neck until she reached his collar bone. He stiffened, his eyes shot wide open, his pupils dilated.

"Clearly I didn't research this thoroughly enough," he gulped.

* * *

**A/N Please review**.


	10. All Around the World

**Author's note: **Much love to my followers and reviewers. I'm honored by your attention and it helps inspire me to continue writing. Please don't forget to review.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

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**"I don't know where my baby is - but I'll find him, somewhere, somehow  
I've got to let him know how much I care"**

**All Around the World – Lisa Stanfield**

**-o-o- **

"Leonard, I've called you and texted you since yesterday. Why weren't you answering me?"

"Penny, are you crying? I didn't mean for you to worry. I sent you an email that I lost my phone in one of the labs. Didn't you check your emails?"

Penny gathered several tissues to blow her nose and wipe her eyes. She continued sniffing and said, "No, I'm so used to hearing from you right away I didn't think about it. I was drinking a little and just started to worry. I had bad dreams and kept waking up all night. "

"I'm sorry. If I would have been in my room I would have had my laptop on. My phone slid under a set of huge packing cases that I can't move by myself. Later this morning we are going to used a hydraulic jack to move them so I can get my phone."

"Sweetie, sorry if I'm overreacting but I miss you all day and the nights get worse."

"Nights are horrible for me too. I have to soothe myself by replaying our special moments through my mind. What are your nightmares about?"

"I replay all our bad times and how I made them worse and that I could have lost you completely. Please tell me you still want to come back?"

"Of course I want to go back! Why would you think otherwise?"

"You're telling me about all the interesting people you're meeting from around the world, so why would you want to come back to a terrible Nebraska waitress?"

"First of all, I'm going back to the love of my life and where ever you are is where I want to be."

"I love you," she bawls and hugs her pillow that is dressed in Leonard's recycle t-shirt.

"Are you using my t-shirt as a pillow case?"

"Yes," she sniffs.

"I should have brought one of your t-shirts with me. All I have is that video that Amy sent me. Have you shot a new episode?"

"Yes. We did yesterday but I should warn you that chicken-pot-pie is not very sexy."

"I'm sure Amy's creative editing will make up for it. I bet I can guess the movie you watched."

"We had apple tarts for dessert. She said she made them keeping you in mind so you'll probably see some naughty tart footage," she giggled at the memory of Amy's description. "Okay, guess the movie."

"Chicken Run"

"You're right but that's where I started getting depressed. It seemed like the Shamy giggled together at everything all evening and then during the movie, now brace yourself, Sheldon tried to put his arm around Amy."

"Are you serious? What do you mean tried?"

"We were watching the movie, and I'm in your chair when I notice out the corner of my eye that Sheldon puts his arm on the back of the couch behind her after they were both laughing about something. Then it's like he suddenly realized what he was doing so he yanked his arm away like it had caught on fire."

"Wow, for Sheldon that is something."

"I pretended that I didn't see it and I don't think Amy noticed either."

"That dog was making a move. Write it down on the calendar for me, it must mean something about an impending apocalypse."

"Remember how he said he was working on it? Well, obviously he is and I can't get over how much she must mean to him for him to even try. If only he'd just go with the flow of things. It's obvious he wants to do more but he keeps restraining himself. She's waited patiently for him and I hope it works out before it's too late. Then I start thinking about how much _my_ attitude has sucked and all the time I've wasted being unhappy. It seems like all my issues ended up making you unhappy when it didn't have to be that way. I want to do better sweetie."

"Penny, we've both been at fault but we're better now. I can't wait to be home with you."

"I'm counting the days, hours, minutes."

"Me too. Now tell me about the movie you're going to audition for this week."

"My agent verified that everything is legit. It's called 'Sealed With A Kiss', at least for now. It's about a girl who finds a large seal washed up on the beach but when she gets close enough to touch him she discovers that it is really a man. Like a mermaid dude, I guess."

"What you're talking about is a folktale about a Selkie."

"A what?"

"My dad and Uncle Floyd used to research folktales, legends and myths from the regions where they did their work. The Selkie is a folktale from the islands around the U.K. Be careful with those tears, the story goes that it takes seven tears in the ocean from a distraught woman at high tide to summon a Selkie, which are seals that shape-shift to human form on land."

"Wow. It doesn't say any of that in the three script pages they sent me. It sounds great. I wonder how they are going to adapt the story for California?"

"What part are you auditioning for?"

"I'm supposed to be the big sister of the girl that finds him."

"Is it a comedy or drama?"

"Hard to tell from my scene. Why?"

"Well, the male Selkie as known was supposed to be a love 'em and leave 'em type. The hunky heartbreaker but they may play him differently of course. Have any of the parts been cast?"

"I don't know any production details other than to show up and read Friday afternoon. Then I have an interview with the head make-up guy who has a hand injury. My job would be to be his assistant. There is another make-up artist so this might be more like an apprenticeship. If I can just book either job, I'll have something new to add to my resume."

"I'm happy for you. This sounds awesome. Keep me posted up to the minute. You know it might also be a suspense or supernatural movie."

"Why do you say that?"

"Some tales say that the Selkie was the result of souls lost at sea. They could be bringing in ghostly elements into the story."

"As long as there isn't a bowling alley involved I'm thrilled."

"Look at us. It's the summer of opportunities." They shared smiles and Leonard was pleased to see that he had managed to help Penny get out of the dumps. It helped him relieve some of the stress that would drag him down during the day if he had left her unhappy.

"Sweetie, thanks for talking. I'll let you get to work. I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

-o-o-

Sheldon sat at his apartment computer desk reflecting on a wonderful Monday. That morning he had awoken with a smile, his latest progress with his girlfriend ended up being more fulfilling than frightening. He quickly sent her his regular 'good-morning' text before getting out of bed. They had had a delightful dinner and movie Sunday night. Feeling at ease with her next to him, he had almost slipped up in Penny's presence when he went to put his arm around her. He wasn't sure if Penny had noticed anything but he had prepared to comment that he was just stretching in case she mentioned anything. This was partially true and so he felt he could be convincing.

Penny had left as soon as the movie ended which gave him some time alone with Amy.

Their 'hello' and 'good-bye' kisses had needed some minor adjustments because they had bumped noses three times. The awkwardness made them smile and chuckle but they then decided that she would tilt slightly left and he would tilt right. That afternoon at the lab it had worked perfectly.

He had discovered that the Cal-tech laboratory would be available evenings during that week and that Kripke would be on vacation for seven days starting Thursday. Both pieces of information had him elated except that now it would be his turn to disrupt his nightly schedule and time with Amy. He had texted her hoping that he could go by for lunch. When she agreed he called a cab so he could hurry over with lunch and several of his notebooks. He smiled at the memory of her shyness.

-x-x-

"Sheldon, I've never done this at my job." She stammered with reddened cheeks.

"I should hope not." Sheldon stated and shuffled away from her side to sit on his usual stool. He felt disappointed but he didn't want to press for something she would be uncomfortable about. When she closed the door a stood next to him, his palms became instantly sweaty and his throat parched.

"Okay. I feel better with the door is closed." He turned to look up and face her. She put her arms around his neck. His hands went to the side of her ribcage. He decided this may become his first favorite spot to enjoy a kiss with his girlfriend.

"Hi, boyfriend." She whispered.

"Hi, girlfriend." He mimicked.

They gazed longingly into each others eyes for several seconds until Sheldon's gaze went to her lips. "Why are you making me wait?" he asked.

She kissed him and one of his hands went instinctively to the back of her head where he gently pressed her to him. After an elongated five Mississippi they pulled apart and Sheldon stood to organize his lunch and regain focus. Kissing Amy made him dizzy but not in the way blood from his own finger would affect him. He could only relate it to having twenty new issues of his favorite comic books arrive on the same day. Some of his impure thoughts had been about Amy in her lab so he was glad to have their agreement with its set boundaries established to help him keep his lust in check.

Amy was the only person that he would allow to review his current projects and notebooks. Armed with sticky-notes and pencils they traded work. They analyzed, dissected and questioned each others methods and rational. Alex his assistant had requested several times to have such an honor as if that silly child could possibly live up to the brilliance that was his Amy. She was the one that most often helped him when he became stuck on a problem. She reasoned with him that he overcomplicated things while she tended to simplify. Her method was usually just to ask him questions until somehow he could uncover his own answer through his own explanations.

Overall it had been a productive and magical afternoon. Neither had used their extra kisses that day but it seemed like he couldn't touch her enough. He liked putting his hand on the small of her back or waist when they discussed her data sets and lab reports. He liked touching her hair while they watched television when they had gone back to his apartment. He liked touching her knee while she leaned on his shoulder as they looked at the latest issue of Smithsonian.

If not for the fact that the girls had snuck away to "swim" in the pool after dinner that evening, it would have closed as a perfect day. While the boys had played video games the girls had gone upstairs. Amy spent a little extra time with Penny at the end as she apparently had trouble speaking to Leonard and had become weepy. When Amy returned to his apartment he could not bring himself to touch her. The thought that she had spent time in the germ filled pool made his stomach turn. She assured him that she had rinsed off at Penny's and that her head had never gone in the water, but it wasn't enough. They parted with a quick peck.

He waited for his set time to Skype Leonard. He had a few things to discuss and neither had anything to do with his work. He had saved those for their emails.

"Leonard, How are you today? Are you ready to become the first to prove the existence of the Unruh radiation?"

"No, Sheldon we are not working on proving the Unruh effect today. I also sent you the latest pictures of the instruments we are using and area that we are anchored to. Please stop asking for data samples as that is highly encrypted and I don't want to jeopardize my standing with the project."

"Very well then I'd like to share some information with you but I ask that you keep it to yourself as I'm not prepared to share details with our social group."

"Now you have my attention. Sure. Of course I'll keep it to myself."

"I'm driving. I drove for over an hour yesterday."

"In an actual car? On an actual street? Or in a video game?"

"It was a go-cart."

"A GO-CART!" Leonard chuckled uncontrollably, "You actually did not freak out about driving without the protection of doors and side panels? You controlled the steering and gas pedal?"

"Now see here, I'm sharing this with you because you're my best friend and you know I've struggled with driving. I was hoping you would keep the mocking to a minimum. And yes, I did steer. And yes, I did push the gas pedal by myself. And I wore a helmet and their go-carts have a stellar safety harnessess. I am making inroads here so at least be a little happy for me."

"To what do you owe this amazing break-through?"

"Amy of course, she believes that driving creates some sort of sensory overload that I need to manage. She trying several different approaches with me and they seem to be working."

"You didn't spin out or crash or panic?"

"Yes, I did all of those but she doesn't let me quit. She can be quite stubborn."

"Oh! Amy can be stubborn? Well good for her, if she succeeds this will make a lot of people very, very happy." He snarked, mentally holding up a sarcasm sign.

"It will make _me_ very happy not to have to arrange my schedule for others."

"YOUR schedule? Aaagh!. So hopefully it won't be long before you're driving around the streets of Pasadena and Los Angeles."

"Next week I move up to the faster Level 1 racing go-carts. I'll let you know how it goes after that experience."

"How fast did these go-carts go?"

"15 mph"

"And the racers will go?"

"25 mph"

"Woohoo. You'll be ready for LeMans in a year," he snickered but looked genuinely proud of Sheldon on the screen. Sheldon smiled back but still admonished his friend with a look of derision. "Leonard."

"So that was the confidential information you had?"

"No. There is more. I've been having a problem," he exhaled with resignation and hesitated, "with hearing Wolowitz's voice in my head."

"Oh boy. I'm just going to assume you mean you're having some dirty thoughts about Amy."

"I didn't say THAT!"

"Come on Sheldon, Wolowitz is not going to be in your head helping you with physics. It has to be about sex and with you it has to be about Amy," and then he added for his personal amusement, "unless there is someone else." He did not expect the seriousness that shone in Sheldon's face.

"Leonard, I thought you could give me some insight on this matter. It is bothersome and I'd like to find a way to make it stop."

"Look Sheldon, you are always trying to suppress your feelings for Amy but like it or not she has transformed you. If you are having naughty thoughts about her you must know that they are a NORMAL part of sexual attraction. I know you hate that word but you are not a complete homo novus. You are bound to retain traits from the origin of your species and a sexual drive, surprisingly for you, may be one of them."

"Why Wolowitz and his filthy mouth? I respect Amy and I don't want to look upon her like I'm some slimy deviant."

"I can only guess that maybe it's because you don't have your own way of expressing some of those desires. Howard was never at a loss for pervy thoughts before Bernadette and he shared them in every way imaginable, so your brain has locked on to that somehow. Another possibility could be because you associate coitus as being something dirty and 'off-putting'. I guess my best advice is to stop fighting it because, at the risk of sounding like Raj, it can be really beautiful when you care about the other person. As it is you're not accomplishing anything but pushing Amy away."

"Amy knows ours is a relationship of the mind, first."

"That ship sailed and you know it."

"I miss not having to worry about things," sighing he added," it was simpler."

"The minute you brought home twenty-five cats it stopped being simple. She walked away and you lost it. You lost it, so don't waste you're time coming up with some stupid excuse to it cover up your feelings now. You lost it."

"I, I, I…"

"She walked away, Sheldon. You're mom had to call her to bring her back for you. She would have never known about the cats. She would have never known how you felt. I don't doubt for one moment she could still walk away and not turn back. This time the hurt will be bigger, so damn it, Sheldon quit hiding behind some stupid fear of being a normal man. You can still accomplish your goals without jeopardizing your relationship."

"That's why I asking for your help understanding some of these dilemmas. I want to be a better boyfriend."

"Then first let me point out that unlike my mother most women, most living beings, need and desire physical affection. Amy is no different and she's been amazingly patient with you but how much longer is that going to last? When your work earns you accolades and the celebration is over what will you have? So if you are having these feelings for Amy share that with her, open up and see what happens. Get Howard out of your head by giving 'those naughty things' your own voice, your own reference point."

"You certainly have an opinion."

"This time away from home, away from Penny has given me plenty of time to reflect. If you were in my place you'd understand. You'd love the work but there has to be more. And I just think its kind of sad that after more than three years I've kissed _your_ girlfriend more than you," Leonard answered pointedly

Angered by the revelation Sheldon shot back, "When did _you_ kiss Amy?"

"I kissed her on the cheek after we went to that wedding together."

"The one a few years ago?"

"Yes, the _only_ one I've ever escorted her to"

"We had a little talk about that night, didn't we?" Sheldon demanded with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, I got your message but this is what I mean though, let her see this stir of emotion that she causes in you. Screw it BE A HIPPIE! It doesn't have to be sex, just be kind and affectionate with her at least or just plan on being a lonely old man. I know I'm not sticking around with you forever."

"I'm not going to say you are right but you may have some valid points that I will consider. Thank you, Leonard. Have a good day." Sheldon closed the laptop before Leonard could answer.

The abrupt end to their conversation told Leonard that he had somehow hit a nerve. He knew that in the last year Sheldon had begun to noticeably worry about losing Amy. He would observe his facial and body muscles tighten whenever Amy mentioned a male colleague's name or when discussing new doctoral candidates she might be assigned to mentor. At first he wasn't sure what brought on the furniture moving nights, where Sheldon felt he had to clean under and behind their largest pieces of furniture. Eventually though Leonard could pinpoint the cause by simply asking Sheldon about Amy's work. He would ramble on about how her valuable time and exceptional brain was being wasted by catering to commoners and university pencil pushers. His suspicions were confirmed by Penny when she shared the news of Sheldon's foray with long island iced tea. His lament that "she's going to leave me" revealed his hidden agony.

-x-x-

Back in Pasadena Sheldon was miffed at the thought of Leonard kissing Amy, even if it had been in the past. Unlike Leonard he was not one to be amused by the idea of his girlfriend kissing or being kissed by another man. He still couldn't understand how he had allowed Penny to carry on during game night. His friends had passed around several women like Leslie Winkle and Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton. Even Penny had had her moment with Raj and all of it sounded too much like what Penny's New Jersey reality show had called "sloppy seconds". Amy was all his and only his, he just needed to work his way around his personal obstacles to make her completely understand the level of his commitment.

_"Suck it Leonard," he thought, "I have kissed Amy more than you and she's not going anywhere."_

Now the one valid thing he thought Leonard did say was that he needed to create his own reference points. "_He might be right. I can get Wolowitz out of my thoughts by replacing his vulgarity with a experiences of my own"._ There was no way he was telling Amy about his fantasies, she may expect him to act upon them and he just wasn't ready for that reality. He _was_ enjoying kissing and touching her and with that he could progress. Amy's apartment had been a good starting point, yesterday in her car, today in her lab, tonight in his apartment. He'd already kissed her at all those places. He felt fairly proud of himself as he had every intention of adding to the list.

His phone buzzed with a goodnight message from Amy. He responded and went to bed.

* * *

-o-o-

Amy sat at her laptop preparing to write Leonard's email, she was warmed by the fact that her afternoon with Sheldon had been one of the best ever. They had kissed in her lab, he had touched her willingly and repeatedly. While she had shocked him by kissing his neck the other morning she could tell it made him nervous. She decided it was best to follow his lead most of the time thereby only kissing additionally if he did. Over time she thought she would push forward a little more but for right now it was better to enjoy what was happening between them and let him get comfortable.

**Dear BBE,**

**Our significant others spent very little time together this week thus raising their tolerance levels during the weekend. Everyone was pleasant but Sheldon now prefers to ride the bus to work rather than to have any more "grumpy morning" encounters. Raj and Howard bring him home three times per week and then he rides the bus when I can't pick him up. It's good for him to become more independent.**

**In other news this Thursday is Anything Can Happen Thursday and Bernadette and I have a surprise in store for your blond bombshell. We let her pick the activity and she picked bar games night. So we're entered in a tournament of shuffleboard, darts and pool. She thought it was cute when Bernadette and I told her we had both played in college. She couldn't go with us on Sunday when Mike Rostenkowski helped us practice and tune up our rusty skills but I think she'll be pretty shocked when she sees Bernie in hustler mode. Shhhhh mums the word. Expect plenty of pictures. We'll try not to get too craaazy.**

**I've attached the latest "cooking" video. **

**Be well and watch out for those giant squid.**

**Regards,**

**AFF**

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**A/N:** next chapter - Anything Can Happen Thursday


	11. Momma Said Knock You Out

**Author's note: **Warning this chapter contains adult language and references but not enough to change the rating. I had some time off and had planned to write three chapters but the result is one giant chapter because it was Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday and something actually happened! It will probably the last time I try to write an ensemble cast piece chapter.

By nature I'm a reader not a writer because I love a good yarn. In writing my yarn got longer and longer but that's what happens when I watch S6 Bloopers and extras. (Shout out to UK shippers who gave the US mates a peek one week early). Watching my OTP really gets my motor running. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.**

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**"Don't ever compare me to the rest **

**that'll all get sliced and diced -**

**Competition payin' the price."**

**Momma Said Knock You Out- L.L. Cool J**

-o-o-

"Alex, thank you for picking up the lunches. You may feel free to take the afternoon off."

"Dr. Cooper, This is a pleasant surprise. Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Just don't get used to it. Good day."

Sheldon had plans to work in the Physics Lab that evening and since he knew he would miss Anything Can Happen Thursday he had invited Amy for a late lunch. He had not seen her in person since Monday so he was bounding around with child-like enthusiasm as he unpacked the food and utensils. Her recent text told him she was in the building set to arrive at any second so for the sake of privacy he preferred to meet in his office.

He opened the door so she wouldn't have to knock and caught her as she was turning the corner towards his office. "Hi, Sheldon," she smiled, making his heart skip.

"Come in. I have lunch set out in here."

Amy hooked her purse on the back of her chair while Sheldon closed the door. She had not finished turning before Sheldon had pulled her to him for their kiss. This was unlike any previous kiss. Sheldon's lips seemed softer, they were slightly parted and instead of just pressing against Amy's he began to give what seemed like tiny kisses that gingerly tugged on her upper and lower lips. Before she could figure out how to reciprocate he stopped.

"Sheh-el-duuun uh –what was that?" she asked as her knees became limp noodles.

"That's how it's done," he grinned while holding up his groggy girlfriend "I didn't know how that would go but I think from your reaction I get an A."

"A plus."

"Of course. I prefer to excel at everything."

"How did you learn to – I mean it was very nice before – but this – hoo - kiss me again."

"Now Amy you know we have and agreement to contro-" her arms had been around his neck so she pulled him to her when a knock came at the door. They separated just as the door opened.

"Dr. Gablehauser, what brings you to my office?"

Looking at Amy, who was smoothing her appearance, he responded, "Dr. Cooper sorry for the intrusion but I was coming this way and I thought I might as well bring you this code." He handed Sheldon an index card and looked back from Sheldon to Amy.

"Ah yes, the after hours pass code, " noticing his focus on Amy, "um and let me present my girlfriend Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler whom you might have met at Professor Tupperman's funeral."

Amy put out her hand, "Yes, we met briefly but we did not get an opportunity to speak. I am pleased to meet you."

"Dr. Fowler I have read some of your publications in Neuron magazine. Your work is very impressive. Dr. Cooper is a lucky man."

Sheldon's proud smirk quickly vanished as he noticed Gablehauser's eyes examine Amy from head to toe. His nostrils began to flare and his jaw locked while his mind began to ponder. "_Is he checking out my girlfriend? He may have spent some unholy moments with my mother but I won't allow him to consider such things with my woman_."

Sheldon looked at Amy and could detect a slight furrow in her brow so as she spoke he took her hand and pulled her close and slightly behind him. "I'm impressed that the head of a physics department would take an interest in neurobiology."

"The biology building has the best conference room for our interdepartmental meetings and teleconferences. I'm there several times per month so I take the chance to read the journals and magazines that are lying around."

"If you'll allow me to interject Amy, our lunches are getting cold."

"Once again I'm sorry for the interruption but thank you Dr. Fowler for being a friend of the University."

Sheldon and Amy both looked puzzled but it was Amy who asked, "Friend of the University?"

"Yes. Yes. Believe me, anyone who keeps Dr. Cooper focused on his projects and too busy or weak to obsess about suggestion boxes is a friend of the University."

A bewildered Amy slowly responded by saying, "I - a-ssure you that Dr. Cooper manages his projects without my -" before she could finish Sheldon was escorting Gablehauser out of the office.

Sheldon wasn't exactly clear as to what he was referring to or eager to learn more but he felt a guilty pang in the pit of his stomach. "Thank you for the pass codes Dr. Gablehauser. I'll destroy the card as soon as I commit it to memory." Sheldon closed the door and turned to Amy.

"Let's eat."

"Sheldon, what did he mean by 'too busy or weak'?' "

"Who knows," he waved his hands, palms up in the air, " I've told you before that we don't get along because I questioned his credentials when he took over the department. I think he was just being rude. He saw we were about to eat but he engaged you in conversation anyway."

She snickered, "Sheldon, these are salads and you said they were getting cold."

"Not just salad," reaching into a brown paper bag he pulled out two covered Styrofoam cups, "I also ordered a cup of minestrone soup for you to go with your anti-pasto salad."

"Yum. I only had coffee and yogurt for breakfast so this is perfect."

As he leaned across the desk to hand her a spoon she kissed him on the cheek before sitting down. His lopped sided grin was returned and they held their gaze until he asked,

"What is your schedule for tonight? Raj and Howard said they were leaving early to be with you girls at this tournament."

"We're competing as individuals and as a team. We can warm-up at 5:30 but round-robin play begins at six. In round one we are in eight groups of three but only the top two will advance to the second round. Round two will be four groups of four and again the top two advance into bracket play."

"So they whittle down to eight players from twenty-four. Is this for each event?"

"Yes and the first one to start is shuffleboard, then darts and then pool."

"Do you actually think you girls have a chance? Howard said most of your competition will be men. Don't they have a woman's division?"

"I believe bar games I believe are meant to be gender neutral, at least at this event, I'm not sure of the usual protocols. I think Penny and Bernadette will be hard to beat. The problem is that if you make it to bracket play you will face seeded players who have won other tournaments. That's the twist. They call it a challenger event. They let the novices fight it out to face ranked champions."

"So you ladies will be going home early?"

"I don't agree. Bernadette's father said he thought we had a good chance."

"Now tell me, why is he going to be there?"

"He's the one that knew about the tournament since this place used to be a cop bar at one time. He and his retired buddies still meet there for lunch weekly. He is a man of very few words but he seems honest and blunt. I like him and trust his opinion."

"Amy you're going to think I'm sexist but playing in college dorms and rec rooms for book money is not the same as playing in a bar with drunken idiots. Even if your skills are superior, the charged atmosphere, crowd and noise may become unsettling to you."

"I work with drugged, noisy, unpredictable, hostile, feces throwing primates so it won't be much different."

"Oh. Good point."

They finished eating in silence. Amy's anticipation was rising while Sheldon brooded over Gablehauser's actions. He kept looking back over at Amy and began to worry about her evening activities.

"Amy, will you be drinking tonight?"

"I don't plan to, I need to stay sharp but afterwards we'll just have to see. Penny has an audition tomorrow afternoon so I don't expect her to imbibe too much either. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just wondering who will be driving?"

"Oh. Raj and Howard are driving afterwards. Penny will take a cab there because she has something to turn in for a class first."

"You sound like you're getting excited."

"I am. I better get going home to change. Thank you for lunch."

They began to pick up their refuse and wipe down the desk. When it was all shoved into the paper sacks Amy offered, "I'll dump it on my way out so you won't have to tolerate with the smell."

Sheldon nodded approval as Amy walked nearer to him but did not touch him, "Now about that kiss. Sheldon, when you make a physics discovery are you going to keep it all to yourself?"

"Of course not."

"Are you going to just tell people you discovered something, show them and walk away or are you going to want them to understand how you made the discovery and admire its intricacies?"

"More than likely the latter. Woman, what skullduggery is going on in your head?"

"Nothing at all," she began to twirl her hair with her index finger, "I just think that as your girlfriend when you discover something that would," she cleared her throat," enhance our intimacy you would want to instruct your partner on the techniques to -" she saw his eyes start to blink repeatedly and teeny droplets perspiration accumulate on his temple. _"oh no. He's going to panic."_ She began to step away but he lifted her chin to kiss her again.

This time his lips were moistened and the added sensation made Amy's heart jump and skin cells pirouette. She wanted to forget everything and just make-out with him all afternoon.

"Okay, your turn." He whispered breathlessly as he adjusted himself to a half-sitting position on his desk with his hands on his thighs.

Amy leaned towards him, licked her lips and started her focus on his beckoning lower lip. She worked her way slowly around to the upper lip then back to the bottom which she tenderly tugged, nipped and rubbed then she softly pressed both her lips directly against his to finish the kiss. When she pulled away he sat swaying with his eyes closed and a half smile.

She reached to caress his cheek with the back of her hand, "Sheldon"

"mmmhmmm. A plus," he said opening his eyes.

"Oh. Thank you Professor Cooper" Amy giggled.

"It's Dr. Cooper," he corrected, the life returning to his droopy eyes, "and you really need to go and get ready for your event."

"Is everything okay?" she asked as he was pushing the paper bags into her arms.

"Yes. We discovered that taking turns is a great lesson even for grown-ups. Be careful tonight and keep in touch. Now on your way," he kissed her cheek and guided her with his hand in the small of her back out the door.

When she was gone Sheldon flopped onto his chair, tossed his head back, closed his eyes and smiled.

* * *

-o-o-

"Bernie, I didn't think you would show up entirely in black leather, but I'm lovin' those chunky, strappy heels."

"Their burgundy color would look great on a dress," added Amy as the girls gathered for an impromptu meeting in the bar's bathroom.

Bernadette was applying lipstick and looking in the mirror as Amy was doing the same with lip gloss next to her. "I love those black shoulder panels on your red leather jacket. It makes it one of kind. Who would've known they'd have such awesome clothes at a Harley dealership. I could tell my dad was surprised by how much we shopped. He was pretending that he wasn't happy to wait for us but, since mom made him sell his bike, I know that he likes to go there and just sit on those Hogs. Oh and good call on the wearing the contacts Amy. I don't think your glasses are biker girl chic."

"Were we going for biker girl chic cuz I would've worn a bikini top instead of this shirt" piped Penny walking out from one of the bathroom stalls. "I did wear my pointy cowboy boots just in case I need to do some ball-bustin'. Ames, not that your red wedge heels aren't cute, and it's great you're not wearing tights, but don't you own some black boots?"

"Yes and I thought about wearing them but I have them put away with a costume. And besides the extra height can only help me when hitting the cue ball."

"You don't look intimidating at all. What did Raj say? _'you're one step away from foxy' _if it wasn't for that black Flash t-shirt. That t-shirt makes you look cute. Poor Sheldon's missing out on this tonight. I know he would hate the crowd but I bet he'd be gaga over you" chuckled Penny "Ya know that's the shortest skirt I've ever seen you wear. Hey, we should get you a black leather mini skirt next time."

"I don't know why but when I saw this shirt at the mall I had to have it and I thought it was perfect for tonight. And what's wrong with my black denim skirt?"

"It's not leather!" chimed Penny and Bernadette together.

"I know why you bought that t-shirt," teased Bernadette, "You wanted to think of Sheldon being all over your body. Oooooooooh. Oh and a white low cut tank top would have looked sexier but Sheldon's the only one who would like what you're wearing more."

"I just need to feel comfortable with all the bending, reaching and stretching we'll be doing tonight and that is why I wore these shoes. I've found I can tolerate wedges for hours which I can't do with heels. I do love the softness and flexibility of this jacket but don't you think it will be too hot as the night goes on?"

"I don't care, I'm not taking off my birthday present and when I save enough I'm going back for the pink one."

"Bestie, when your birthday does come you'll have to give it back so we can wrap it."

"Amy, if you weren't wearing that jacket you'd be wearing a cardigan. This is way better besides its been kinda cool and breezy in the evenings all this week so we should be alright. You should also put your hair up to keep it out of the way," Bernadette ordered.

"Bernie, what did Howard say about your black leather pants and jacket?" asked Amy as she was putting up her hair.

"Trust me, he's seen the pants before but he loves the jacket. I do have a different top for the pants at home" giggling she batted her eyes and squeaked, "he likes fringe."

"TMI Bernie! Ames you need to be prepared about the fact that there are a lot of assholes out there who will say anything to break you down. You cannot afford to lose even one match so use all your assets to mess them up first."

"Is that why your jeans are painted on?"

"Damn right, assets baby assets." Penny answered as she bent over and smacked her own butt where she was joined by Bernadette doing the same thing and saying, "Assets baby."

"Wait, let me take a picture of this gem." Amy clicked her phone's camera and laughed, "Penny, do it again by yourself so I can send it to Leonard."

Bernadette chose that moment to give Amy more tips, "Now remember you don't have to show all your skills at once. Save them for the later rounds when you'll really need them so you can show them up like Giacomo at the Kentucky Derby."

"Are you saying I'm a long shot? Because that is not very inspiring."

"No, I'm saying - let them think - you're a long shot."

"Ladies you forget who you're talking to, I know all about playing mind games."

"Sure but can you do this?" Bernadette began to lower the zipper of her fitted black leather jacket exposing her ivory skin, cleavage and as she continued the swell of her bosoms.

"Stop!" yelled Penny, "are you even wearing a bra?"

"Keep those puppies contained" Exclaimed Amy, "what are you trying to do knock our eyes out?"

"I'm wearing a really pretty silver, burgundy and black demi bra. This jacket has a satin lining and it feels so nice. I need to keep my no-so-secret weapons comfy."

"It's 5:30 let's go," announced Amy. They intertwined their arms for a group hug and then walked into the bar.

* * *

-x-x-

_Langurs Serum_ had been the original name for the cop bar that opened in 1974 on Wilshire Blvd. of West Los Angeles. Professor Wolfgang Presbury had retired and bought a run down brick building for pennies on the dollar. His desire to clean up the building and turn it into a poetry reading, novel writing, beatnik hang-out and literary dive bar dissolved once the precinct five blocks down the street discovered his cheap prices for bourbon, whiskey, scotch and beer. Writers and law enforcement apparently nursed at the same teat for escapism and solace.

His endeavor prevented him from becoming idyll and it financed his children's college educations and weddings but by the late-eighties he was done. Ownership transferred and the Brick House hung as its new moniker. The smoke laden faux wood paneling came down replaced by white painted brick, lightening up the barroom atmosphere. A dance floor was added to go with the wine coolers and umbrella drinks. Cop leather was replaced by Michael Jackson crotch-grabbers and Miami Vice wanna-be's who were all actually rich college kids acting out their own version of cosplay. The only known strippers to make appearances by then were g-stringed gay men performing for Tuesday's Lady's Nights.

Foolishly that owner sought to augment his income by dealing cocaine in the curtained phone booths by the bathroom lobby. Retired beat cops who were used to routine had not stopped coming to the place they still considered their watering hole and by instinct had sniffed out the felonious activities. After a shakedown by some dirty badges the place stayed open until the raid of 1995 when it was boarded up pending completion of an investigation and the perpetrator's trial.

In 2004 a pair of internet millionaires had the highest bid at the city auction for the property and the one next door and thought it would be fun to turn it into high tech man-cave. They did not count on the proximity of the Pacific Coast Highway bringing in the motorcycle clubs of middle age crazy men and women whose interest was limited to cruising, drink and food to help them forget their daily grind. To cater to this cash flow they installed big screen televisions, new pool tables and a trained kitchen staff. The Monkey Juice Bar and Grill was renamed as a tribute to its origins and a desire to clean up its image in an area that was trying to gentrify the last block of seediness in the neighborhood.

By 2013 the bar had been sold to an investment group who wanted to create a hybrid Dave and Busters atmosphere. The wall to the building next door was knocked down to create a play arena. Once you walked through the original room you could sit at the old bar and look across to the new space. Polished cement ramps bordered the sides of a sunken billiard arena of nine tables. The ramps sloped three feet up to an open back room of shuffleboard tables, competition dart area, dozens of stainless steel pub tables and barstools that provided a view to the arena. The exposed brick walls, black ceilings, gray floors and rails that divided the spaces gave some the feel of a loft space but to others it looked like nothing more than a furnished indoor skate park.

The arcade games never arrived because the cost of construction and remodeling up to code made it prohibitive. What they ended up with was a modern billiard hall attached to and old pub. The Monkey Juice Bar and Grill had yet to meet its expected glory but the remnants of each incarnation lingered as you could find every age and variety of clientele from past and present on any given night. The oldest resident to linger was the original carpet in the original building. Through all the ownerships, all the reconstructions not one proprietor said 'pull it up', each said 'we'll shampoo it later'. This meant that, at any given moment, on any given night, you might smell nachos, Captain Morgan and limes, followed by a whiff of Tiparillos, rancid beer and, what the Mexican workers labeled, _nalga_.

Raj leaned against the bar and sniffed then wrinkled his nose. A salt and pepper haired man with a thick fu-manchu moustache who sat five barstools over said, "It's the carpet."

"Excuse me?'

"The smell. You smelt something and it's the carpet."

"But I wasn't smelling it a second ago and then it just happened. No one is around me. I thought it odd. It's kind of gross."

"It smells like dirty ass."

"No, it's far worse than someone passing gas."

"Not passing gas, dirty ass and it's the carpet. The cheapskates have never pulled it up."

"The smell is gone now."

"It'll just sneak up and surprise you depending on what stirs it up. Then the air-conditioning brings it over to you. You may not get a whiff of it again for weeks. "

"You would think they would want to get rid of that."

"You would but some say it's the ghost of good times and removing it now would make the business fail."

Raj could not contain his laughter, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," then more seriously, "no offense."

The man moved over next to the barstool next to Raj. "No offense taken. It is stupid but like I said the bastards are just too cheap to get it done. They were supposed to renovate this side of the building but it never happened. I think all the old tables and chairs on this side smell too."

"So why not sit on that side?" Raj asked pointing to the side opposite them above the arena.

"They only serve beer at that bar and I'm here for the hard liquor. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Oh that's nice but no. I'm a designated driver for tonight. I take that back we won't be leaving for several hours. I'll take a bottle of water and a grasshopper – no make it a bellini."

"I'm Wayne." He offered while signaling the bartender.

"I'm Rajesh. So is this a regular hang-out for you?"

"Since the nineties."

"So you're a loyal customer."

"I worked here for awhile."

"Were you a bartender?"

"I was considered more of an entertainer."

Raj was distracted when he saw the trio of girls emerge from the bathroom hallway and head towards the competition area. They all waved at each other and smiled.

"I saw you with those ladies earlier. Are you together?"

"They're my friends and they're competing tonight."

"You're not?"

"It's not my thing but I'm here to cheer them on."

"That's pretty good for you to be out with three hotties."

"They're all spoken for if that's your interest. I have to look out for them for their men."

"Trust me that wouldn't be my interest." The drinks arrived and Raj took a sip.

"Excellent. It's not every bar that can make a good bellini and peaches are just starting to come into season," he slurped the drink completely, "oops. I shouldn't have done that I'll have to drink the next one slowly."

"That's why I come here. Great bar."

"So what kind of entertaining did you do?"

"Do you remember the movie Cocktail? Where Tom Cruise is a flair bartender, doing all types of tricks."

"Yes. Is that what you did and could you still do that? I'd love to be able to impress my friends with something like that."

"I'm pretty rusty but I'd be happy to give you lessons of any kind."

"That would be a great addition to my hosting skills."

"Are you a party planner?"

"Yes and no. I'm an astrophysicist at Cal-tech and _my _hobby is party planning among other things."

Laughing he declared, "Rajesh you're the most interesting person I've met in here in years. I wouldn't mind finding out about those other things you like," he grinned.

"Thanks Wayne, that's very kind of you. What do you do now?" Raj asked while summoning the bartender, "what are you drinking?"

"I take a Jack on the rocks. I'm an optical laboratory technician. Tell me Raj are you seeing anyone?"

"I was and I'm still trying to get back together but really I've lost my optimism." He moaned before the drinks arrived.

"I can't see any reason that you should be alone."

"I do have a roommate who's going through hard times and feeling lonely too, so we've managed to look after each others needs."

"Now that _is_ a good friend." Wayne answered with a wide-eyed expression of surprise.

"There you are Raj. I was texting you to meet me where we can watch the girls," griped an anxious Howard.

"I forgot to put my phone on vibrate. Howard this is Wayne. Wayne this is my best friend Howard."

"Hello. Let's go Raj. You need to take pictures to send to Leonard because I want to watch Bernie."

"I'll see you around Wayne. Nice talking to you." Raj said as he shook hands with Wayne who put both his hands on top of Raj's. "You know where to find me," he indicated.

Together Raj and Howard walked to the ramp that led to the back shuffleboard competition. "Dude that old guy with the crew cut was looking at you like you were a lolli-pop."

"Don't even joke. We were just having a pleasant conversation there was nothing gay about it."

"I'm not joking. I saw how he said good-bye. Come on what guy does that?"

"Oh CRAP!" glancing back at the bar he saw Wayne wave at him.

"Yup yup yup. Did you at least get a drink out of it?" Howard asked in a loud whisper.

"Oh CRAP! But wait I bought him one too."

"Well good then you won't have to put out, -yet," he sneered while slapping Raj on the back.

* * *

-x-x-

The weighted puck rested in Bernadette's hand, the score was close. Mathematically she could tie the score by just sliding her puck to the end of the table for three points. The other option was to bump their three point scorer off the table for a win but if she overshot her puck could fall, leaving the score tied for another round. Worse scenario she could miss her opponent's puck completely and lose the game.

She wished she could look at Amy for direction even though she won the last round when the top opponent was disqualified for getting coached. She wouldn't be stupid enough to actually talk to Amy because in the last year they had become close enough to be able to communicate with subtle facial expressions and head movements. She already knew what Penny would do as her game plan had been to knock everyone off the table even if it meant she would win by getting to fifteen one point at a time. It had worked and Penny was already qualified for bracket play. Amy though was always strategic and managed with a plan opposite of Penny's. Her skilled touch allowed her to place her pucks on the lip of the table for points. This frustrated opponents because any attempt to knock her off meant their puck would fall too leaving them scoreless.

Just then she saw Amy move in the crowd to stand parallel to the opponent's puck that lay in the two point area. Without making eye contact she simply looked down at the table and Bernadette got the message. How silly of me she thought, I've only been thinking of the three-pointer. It would be easier to knock off their two-pointer and I'll win by one point. One deft stroke and the match was over. Bernadette advanced.

Darts were not Amy's game. "I could win if they let me use blow darts or throwing stars. I know I wouldn't miss the bullseye at all."

"Don't worry Amy. Your win in the first round still gets us team points. Can you believe how Penny works it?"

Since darts did not allow a legal way to impede your opponent, skill could not be faked. In Penny's case that included the skill of distracting your opponent. She started with friendly banter and compliments followed by a toss of the hair or shake of the bootie as needed. It was one hundred percent effective even with the woman who called her "a hot number". Her charm and deadly aim garnered her three drinks, a coupon for a free tire rotation and a top seed in bracket play.

As when shooting pool Bernadette's height would become a disadvantage. The target was at a regulation height which meant she had to shoot up and across. The correct angle needed could not always be achieved, if not for her heels and flexibility she would have messed up repeatedly. If not for the talkative fools who baited her she might have remained sweet and genteel. At 8:03 p.m. in the second round of darts the switch was flipped and the honey badger came to life.

"Hey, Polly Pocket shouldn't you be home having a tea party."

"Polly Pocket, is that the name your cell husband called you in prison?"

The change in voice and demeanor stunned the watching crowd and dissolved her opponent. Five minutes passed before anyone laughed soundly and it was five minutes and forty seconds later that she claimed victory.

Amy's first opponent was still stuck in a round of darts so she was able to watch Penny's first match. Unlike the first to two contests the entrants for the billiard's contest had a broader range of personalities that went from unsavory to meek.

When Penny stepped on the floor to practice the first thing she heard from her opponent was, "Blondie, you here to take my drink order?"

"I thought you were here to take mine."

"Blondie, I'll take whatever you offer me and give you the time of your life." He slurred leaning towards her ear as if to share the stench of rotted barley.

"Back off! Are you gonna talk or play? Forget warm-up lets get this over with."

Once the match started the rules kept interaction between opponents was regulated. Since their table was near the edge of the arena spectators where able to stand to view nearby. This is where Amy placed herself to watch and where she was barely able to hear one particular cretin but she knew that he was trying to distract Penny. Penny's game was true to the fundamentals. She controlled the cue ball, hit solid shots and when given the opportunity ran the table. When she won she did not savor the victory but turned towards her heckler. As Amy neared to offer congratulations she saw Penny shove the cue stick under the heckler's chin.

Gritting her teeth she snarled, "Trailer Park, It's not gonna take much more for me to use this to help give you a prostate exam."

He put a hand on the stick and gave her a toothless grin, "Coming from you I might like it."

Amy seethed but before she could interfere Penny broke the stick over her knee and jabbed the splintered end below Trailer Park's belt, "HOW ABOUT NOW?!"

He put his hands up and slithered away. Penny looked at Amy. "Don't worry that's probably the worst. You'll be okay." Amy knew she would be more than okay. Game on. At 8:42 Terminator Amy arrived.

* * *

-o-o-

Sheldon was logging in the reports of his latest tests but he kept looking at his phone. He hadn't heard from Amy since 6:30 when she had text that they were 'off to a good start'.

He didn't like what he was feeling. He didn't worry as much when they went out on girl's night as long as they took a cab. Tonight it was different, the worrying had given him a headache and at 7:00 he took two aspirin. Maybe he should have gone with them. Maybe he should have kept Amy from going. He soothed himself by thinking that Penny wouldn't let anything happen to Amy. Penny had stood up to a bully to get his things back but it was Leonard who stood up to Penny's ex-boyfriend to get her T.V. and money back. The feeling returned. He wished that Leonard was there with them. Then he remembered that Bernadette was there too. She was scary. Amy would be okay.

He decided that he would finish his notations, put his bus pants on and go home. There was no point in reviewing his calculations tonight. He couldn't think clearly anymore.

At 9:00 he received a photo from Penny. It was a wide shot of Bernadette at a pool table and what looked like Amy at another table closer to the camera. She included a text that said:

**R grlz hv mad skllz**

**-P **

_"No. No. No. Amy's not wearing her glasses,"_ he thought, _"everyone is going to notice her magnetic eyes but they're suppose to bet only for me."_ The worry had returned.

At 9:08 he received a photo from Raj. It was a close up of Amy aiming at an eight ball. Just as he had feared her eyes were stunning. Then he noticed that she had her hair up something she often did while working. He looked at her exposed sternocleidomastoid muscle, which had often distracted him during their lunches. That was where she had kissed him on Sunday morning and someday he'd like to have nerve enough to kiss hers. He recalled how after he had washed her hair it had dried naturally with flowing waves. That had become his favorite style and he would need to find the right moment to mention that to Amy. He read Raj's text which said:

**Princess Ph.D reigning supreme.**

**-R**

At 9:11 he received a photo from Wolowitz. It was a medium-wide side angle of Amy bent over, preparing for a shot. Three men stood against a wall. The first, clearly watching the action on the table. The other two had their heads tilted to the right clearly examining his girlfriend's posterior. Howard's text said:

**Pirates looking for booty.**

**-H**

At 9:12 he called a cab.

-o-o-

Bernadette was in a foul mood. She had just finish tenth in darts and fourth in shuffleboard and they were both matches she thought she could have won. Arriving for to her pool table for the first match of bracket play she was greeted by Joey Napolis, a two-time champion of the Firecracker Tournament held at Q's Billiards up the street. Joey liked making time for the ladies so he admired the petite blonde in her leather pants and jacket. He usually preferred brunettes but a zesty limoncello was a nice desert, he reasoned.

Right before official play began he leaned towards Bernadette's ear to mention, "Aye, when this is over I'll let you unzip mine, if I can unzip yours." Rubbing his fly he vibrated his eyebrows at her and gave her a leering smile.

Loudly she barked, "Zip it up Alice, your lady parts are showing."

The crowd roared. Joey was embarrassed so he wanted to make quick work of this ragazza. Emotion clouded his skill and on the break the cue ball connected on the wrong spot leaving the group of balls clustered in the middle. Bernadette was only able to sink in two solids before she had to set up a defensive move and hand over the turn. Before stepping aside Joey heard _'zzzzipsss'._ Bernadette had lowered her jacket zipper two inches.

He sank in one striped ball.

_'zzipsss' _– lowered another half inch.

He sank a second striped ball.

_'zzipsss' _– lowered another half inch.

He sank a third striped ball.

_'zzipsss' _– lowered another half inch.

He sank a forth striped ball.

_'zzipsss' _– lowered another half inch.

He hit the cue ball off the table.

Bernadette cued up the ball and ran the table and when she sunk the final ball Joey ran to the referee. "Interference! She distracted me during play."

"Listen Joey, I saw the whole thing and you should have said something earlier. But you know and I know that play was dead and she was far away from the table. Also she didn't do it while you were setting up to shoot so the rules can't help you. We all would have been a lot happier if you would've sunk in at least two more balls. The show was just getting good," answered the burly judge who then winked at Bernadette.

* * *

-x-x-

Penny was the first to see Sheldon. "Sheldon what are you doing here? Isn't it past your bedtime?"

"I came to offer my moral support."

Reading the worried tone of his voice and creases in his brow Penny said, "Sweetie, she's doing fine. She finished eighth in shuffleboard but right now she's going to shoot pool against the woman that beat me. If she wins she'll be in the finals. Come on I was just going to join the guys."

"Can't I go say hello to Amy first?"

"Not now. Play is just going to start and only players can step into the arena. When she's done I'll get her for you."

"Penny, what is that horrible smell?'

"What smell? It's probably coming from all the people."

They made their way to an upper level table near the center of the rail where they could easily watch the competition. Arriving they found Raj with tussled hair and a torn track jacket.

"What wild beast attacked you?" asked Sheldon.

"Howard. I had to keep him from interrupting one of Bernadette's matches. Look he even bit me because I wouldn't let him yell. She had to play like a hustler to win but it's all good now. Right, Howard?"

"I can't take another one like that," groaned Howard holding his stomach.

"That was well played. Sista knows how to go all out." Penny chirped giving Raj a fist bump.

"What happened?" asked Sheldon.

"I don't want to talk about it," answered Howard.

Penny rushed over to put her arms around his shoulders. She leaned her head towards his and said softly, "Sweetie, you do realize she didn't show any skin, right? She was just messing with that guy because he was an ass. It was his own fault that he couldn't concentrate."

"That's just it. I should have gone down there and confronted that guy. I heard what she told him so I should have known that he had tried to come on to her. I should have defended her honor," sulked Howard

"She would have been disqualified if you had done anything and now look she's kept winning and is in the semi-finals. Losing was his punishment."

"What about Amy? Has anything happened to Amy? Who were those men in the picture you sent me?"

"Cool your jets. Nothing's happened to Amy. Once she started playing pool it was like the Amy from when you first dated. She's all serious and trance-like. If anyone has said anything to her it hasn't affected her game," reassured Penny.

"Sheldon, don't worry about that picture I sent you. Those other guys lost and are probably gone by now. Amy didn't know that they kept looking her over. I thought it was funny but after seeing Bernadette's match I get why you're upset."

"Dude, I don't blame them for checking her out. She does look lovely tonight. And Sheldon you should tell her and also that she should ditch the glasses completely."

"Raj, why would I tell her that? She needs her glasses," he glared then looked down at his feet pretending to kill a bug.

"Like Penny said she has been trance-like. You look into her eyes and it's like nothing will faze her. Her eyes are like emerald ice. Oooooooh I like that! And Bernadette's eyes - and her mouth - shoot fire. That's it! They are Fire and Ice."

"Geesh, Raj shut up."

"Penny, Penny, Penny. When did life make you so cold?"

"Oh, I see Amy." Sheldon exclaimed and was about to wave when Howard and Raj grabbed his arms. "What are you doing? Stop it," he squawked

"Don't distract her," commanded Raj

"You're like her frikkin' kryptonite. She's in a zone so don't mess it up," accused Howard.

"He's right about the kryptonite. She could win this thing," added Raj.

"Let me go. I thought you said nothing would faze her."

"Now what?" Penny sighed.

Howard explained "Look the minute she sees him she is going to lose her game face and get all gooey," changing his voice to female,_ "oh Sheldon you don't like places like this, we need to keep you comfortable, you don't like crowds, will this mess up your schedule, we need to make sure everything is just the way you want it_."

"That's right. Anytime you're away from your apartment she acts like that with you," confirmed Raj.

"She's not that bad. Besides Howard it's not like Bernie doesn't do that with you," then looking Sheldon firmly in the eye she added, "We can't let her see you until this thing is over so lay low. Got it?"

Sheldon frowned then pouted but sat down to watch Amy play.

* * *

-x-x-

Victoria Medina was a retired school teacher who had taken up pool during the past two years to help her stay active. She had won five tournaments and was known as a very slow player and strategist. Taking her time drove opponents crazy but she always stayed within the regulations giving few any alternatives but to play at her pace. This had upset Penny who quickly lost patience and the game. She had read this by watching Penny play in her prior matches and knew she didn't have to make any adjustments to her existing game. Amy on the other hand had been difficult to read. She was almost expressionless. She hadn't given any hint to her weaknesses, all her skills were meticulous and flawless, and it seemed nothing could distract her focus. Victoria decided to put the pressure on Amy first, hoping she would crack under the pressure of knowing a win would put her in the finals. She passed her chance to start the break to Amy.

Amy's weakest skill was breaking. Unlike Bernie she could not muster the ability to hit the balls with a violent burst of fury that would send them careening all over the table. She could effectively hit the rack and pick and choose her targets to finish a game but she knew she would need something more against experienced players. So far she had only pretended to be a straight pool shooter.

Amy had spent six college years living away from home. She wanted her independence from her parents and the ability to spend lengthy hours buried in her love of academia without her mother's pressure to be social. In the late hours of the night she needed something to help her unwind and she could usually accomplish that by taking a run around and across campus but after dark it didn't seem safe. On autumn nights of her first semester she discovered that the football games would empty the dorms and the campus. After her run she began to spend time in the rec room that was attached to the men's and women's dormitory.

She had picked up the cue stick and like with her instruments she had set up a practice routine. This habit helped Amy develop and strengthen her basic skills but unlike her music there were was not a selection of complex pieces to master. Always one to expand her repertoire she designed games and challenges for herself. Unlike the quarters game she had played with Penny, she found that pool had unlimited possibilities.

There had been this one thing she did that repeatedly won her $100 bets. She had to prove she could perform it six out of ten times before they would pay up but she did it. By the time she had left college she could perform it ten out of ten times. She had only practiced it once on Sunday after twelve years but the touch was still there and it had been a success. Bernadette had been in the bathroom at the time but her father had seen. He had been the one to explain the tournament rules to them, so watching Amy practice her shots made him laugh heartily until tears were in his eyes. When Bernie returned he didn't mention anything but only told his daughter, "I'll be there to watch the finals."

Now that Victoria had strategically passed her the break, Amy knew it was time. This woman had beat her bestie and she wasn't going to let that go. She went to the chalk to complete her preparation ritual, returned, lined up her cue to the right of center, bent over to check her line of site and played. She hit the cue in the precise location that she wanted lifting it slightly above the racked balls. The crowds silence changed to an "_aaawww"_ because it appeared to be a poor hit but the white sphere and its controlled spin landed in the sweet spot popping out the eight ball which then rolled into the side pocket. Game over. Silence.

* * *

-x-x-

"Holy Fuck!" yelled Penny shattering the quiet.

"Oh My Cow!" wailed Raj

"That wasn't luck, she knew what she was doing," blurted Howard

The crowd went wild and the three danced 'Ring Around the Rosie-like' around Sheldon and the table. Sheldon stood up smiling from ear to ear. When Amy shook hands with the defeated he saw her t-shirt for the first time. He rubbed his Flash logo and found himself longing to touch her.

"Stay down, damn it" screeched Penny pushing Sheldon down into his seat.

"Penny your language is appalling. Where is your decorum? I want to go see Amy."

Rolling her eyes she replied through the corner of her mouth, "the only rum I'm gonna have tonight is the one in my daiquiri. Raj go get us some. Sheldon, it's only one more match you can wait. I can't believe it! I can't believe it! This has been so much fun!" She began dancing around the boys pretending to box against them while they continued a conversation.

"Sheldon, did you know Amy could play like that?" inquired Howard.

"No, but Amy can do anything she sets her mind to do."

Penny sat to calm herself, "well she didn't set her mind to winning at darts but she sure is making up for it."

"That's because her expertise is in throwing stars and blow darts."

"I'm afraid to ask how you found that out," commented Howard skittishly.

"She was helping me clean my stars and I showed her how to throw. I found out quickly that she has incredible aim if she throws ones that are the size of a quarter or silver dollar. The larger ones give her trouble but I still think she could be deadly."

"Yep. I've seen it myself – girl's got a talent with quarters."

Raj returned with drinks for three and a bottle of water for Sheldon.

"Okay I'll bite. And the blow darts?" asked Howard.

"Oh that," Sheldon chortled, "I just wanted to see if she could train a monkey to use a blow dart, it was something she mentioned once. She tried to teach it to blow rice at first but it kept sucking it in to eat it instead of blowing. She didn't want to try anything else so we had target practice in the primate lab. I think she's trained the monkeys to clap for her because they were very enthusiastic for her and not for me. It threw my accuracy off."

"So Raj, Penny, now you know the overlords will arrive with death-rays, throwing stars and killer monkeys."

Penny slurped her drink and cracked up because she could tell that Sheldon thought what Howard said was a compliment.

"Dudes, you know what I realized tonight is that all of your women could have kicked the asses of all those bullies that beat you up as kids."

Sheldon and Howard looked at each other and nodded agreement.

"Ha! I'll have to tell that to Leonard. – Oh look- Bernie's getting ready to play. If she wins she'll have to play Amy for the championship. Here's hoping." She made Raj and Howard cross their fingers but Sheldon would only give her the Vulcan sign.

* * *

-x-x-

Jack Tonnelier was a former automotive engineer turned dealership owner. He had won this tournament three years straight and ten others around the city. He liked to use the place as his hideout since his business SoCal Motors was only a mile away. He had never seen the three ladies that had arrived to cause a buzz but he wasn't concerned about their abilities. Until the last match he had hardly been impressed with anything except Green Eye's focus, it seemed unshakable. That last shot though hinted something. It hinted that she was a ringer.

Jack rushed to the registration table to find her name. On his phone he Googled Amy F. Fowler and discovered that she was a neurobiologist at UCLA. Definitely not the standard credentials of a ringer but no one else appeared and if not for the resembling picture on the Neuron website he would have dismissed his findings. He was called to his semi-final match against the petite one. He wanted to make an example of her so he could focus on his new favorite doctor.

* * *

-x-x-

Amy chose to watch from the corner of the arena so that she could lean into the corner where the walls met. This would keep people from tapping her on the back, brushing up next to her or whispering in her ear. The quantity of touching and back slapping was making her very uncomfortable to the point that between matches she was only concentrating on keeping her elbows tucked. She was grateful she wore her leather jacket. The thickness had kept the touches from seeming more penetrating and intrusive. She wished that Sheldon had been there so she could lean against his chest. Her PDA reservations were the same as his but she needed him she didn't care if everyone saw. She was experiencing her own sensory overload and only he would understand. Playing the match was the only other time she found comfort because it afforded her the space to move around and keep others at a distance.

Amy watched as Bernadette's opponent chose to play a highly defensive match. Unlike Penny who only thought two move's ahead, Bernadette was calculating and would plan her next four moves. Twice though she had needed to use the bridge and twice she needed to stretch into off-balance awkward positions. As Amy watched closely she noted that like a primate invoking social status this man was toying with Bernadette, purposefully exploiting her weakness which were her reach and height. He could have won several moves earlier but continued to extend the match attempting to deliver a message of dominance. Finally it was over.

* * *

-x-x-

"Bernie you did great babe," said Howard hugging her and placing several soft kisses on her face and lips.

"You did better than great girlfriend. That guy is the reigning three time champ."

"Sheldon! When did you get here?" asked a surprised Bernadette "Amy will be so happy to know you came."

"I've been quarantined from seeing her until this nonsense is done."

"Oh yeah, that's a good idea. We need her in take-no-prisoners mode not Sheldon-is-my-boyfriend mode."

"I can't believe all of you. Amy is an intelligent, independent woman and not anything like a mindless groupie. I am offended for her that you characterize her as such!"

"Sweetie, they're not saying she's a groupie. They're just saying she always puts you first."

Generally this would have made him happy. If they had been talking about his mother he would have nonchalantly stated that it would be fitting and expected, with Amy though it began to feel wrong.

* * *

-x-x-

Once upon a time there was a young Amy Farrah Fowler who had trouble making friends. When she reached middle school and high school it only gave her the slightest twinge of concern because her mother had prodded her. It wasn't that she didn't like people in fact she enjoyed that detachment afforded her objective scientific observations of their behavior. Once embedded in their social constructs she became claustrophobic and irritable. By second grade she preferred the company of adults. Adults didn't bother her when she was reading by pulling her ponytails. Adults were able to read and appreciate her Gray's Anatomy textbook. Spending her elementary years in the presence of children had been tedious. If she had been asked about her superpower then it would have been detachment. To her those children were stupid, to them she was mean.

An NIH project studying over a hundred adolescents showed that their brains go through a massive reorganization between the 12th and 25th year. The slightest sliver of change began in Amy during her junior year. Not soon enough to change a reputation of superiority and condescension and not enough to change her into somebody that cared. It was her mother's will and a few friendly acquaintances that forced her to catalogue how human behaviors affected her directly.

Where Sheldon didn't understand sarcasm, she didn't understand duplicity. Why even bother? Just make your point, she thought but in the world of high school that didn't happen. She remembered Sonia's words, _"People be fronting, Genie, you keep playing it straight. That's what we like about you. Just don't let them play you. Set them right, do it quick or they gonna wanna try again."_

"Hi, my name is Jack."

Amy nodded and shook his hand following the ritual she had established since her first pool match.

"I see. You're one of those players that don't like to talk before a match. I get it. No problem."

Jackie-T was his college name. He had done some department store modeling and logged hundreds of hours in the gym. Now at forty the grey that had begun to appear at his temples finally made him interesting as well as handsome. Two failed marriages only proved to him that he was good with the ladies but poor at relationships. It amused him that he could openly date two different women because they liked his money and enjoyed his attention.

"You have the most magnificent green eyes I've ever seen," he whispered to Amy.

Amy was staring at the floor gathering her thoughts. She had lost the chance to break and was only hoping he would mess up to give her a chance to play. When she heard him she knew what she had to do.

She slowly raised her head and locked her eyes on his. Arching one eyebrow she curled her lips and without changing her stare she licked her lips. She let her eyes glide down his body and pause at his manhood. Her eyes went back to his and she slowly bit her lower lip. Keeping her eyes on his she walked over to the chalk table to begin her ritual. It was something she had done all day without knowing where it came from but now her brain told her to give it special emphasis.

She slid her right hand on the chalk cone and placed it back on the shaft of the cue stick. Then she pumped it slowly 1 – 2 – 3.

She slid her left hand on the chalk cone and placed it back on the shaft. Once again she pumped it but this time slower 1- 2 - 3.

Still her eyes were not leaving his as she picked up the blue chalk cube and rubbed the tip of the shaft following the same pattern 1 – 2 – 3.

Once again she licked her lips, puckered slowly and blew across the tip.

She put the butt of the stick down beside her, put her right hand on her hip, bore her eyes into to his and waited.

* * *

-x-x-

Penny and Bernadette's lips seemed permanently frozen into an O. They looked at each other and Penny said, "Mousy wallflower my ass!" Bernadette nodded as they squeezed themselves together intertwining arms and holding hands. Howard and Raj did the same.

Sheldon had needed a better view. No amount of pushing from Penny could keep him down any more, he stood and watched intently. He looked around sensing that the hum in the room was odd when from two tables to his left he heard a pair of men talking.

"Oh man, oh man, I need to take her home with me."

"Or at least to your car," the other laughed

"Nah. Have you seen her bend over? That ass is tight. I wouldn't mind giving it a ride."

"Take a number after me."

Then another voice to the right and behind him he heard.

"Damn. I got a boner watching that!"

Every muscle in Sheldon's face contorted and his hands balled up but before he could do anything there were eight hands grabbing his arms and windbreaker.

"What's happening? Why are they saying that?"

Penny who had only partially heard the remarks said, "Sweetie, settle down. Those guys are just jerks. Don't listen to them."

"She's just staring that guy down. It's just a staring contest."

"You're right. I know. Like I said they're jerks. Let's just watch okay."

* * *

-x-x-

Jackie T disappeared and Jack returned _"What the hell just happened?"_ the thought, _"isn't she just some college professor. That picture and her bio should mean that she would be thrilled by my attention. Now her eyes are burning me up. Women don't do that to me, I do that to them."_

His unsteady hands gave him a poor break. He was only able to hit in two solids before setting up a defensive shot. He noticed that she played left handed so he tried to place the ball where she could only make a good play if she went behind her back and he doubted that possibility.

Amy had been playing left handed but in truth she was ambidextrous and watching Jack's face sink as he noted it gave her great pleasure. She laughed on the inside but did not kid herself that the match was over. She ran the table but when she had two balls left she needed a moment to calculate some formulas and plan her next moves. She went and stood by the chalk cone.

* * *

-x-x-

Every time Amy bent over the men to Sheldon's left moaned or said _"mmmmmyeah"_ and this time when they saw her by the chalk cone one said to the other, "I'm gonna film her jerking that stick so I can watch it and jack off to it later."

Sheldon snapped.

"Noooooooo" Penny grabbed for him but it was too late he was gone. Raj and Howard pushed people out of the way to get to him. What they saw when they reached him frightened them. Sheldon's left hand was around a guy's neck. He had him smashed against a wall dangling two feet off the ground. The right hand was cocked to strike.

Raj grabbed his fist but Sheldon shoved him away.

Just then a very large hand rested on Sheldon's shoulder and the presence attached to it was taller than him. The unfamiliarity of that sensation shook him back into reality and made him look behind him.

"Son, let me take the trash out for you." Mike Rostenkowski's rough deep voice made Sheldon relax. The coughing dangler was grabbed by the collar and Bernadette pointed to the other guy who was simply directed to move along with his pal.

* * *

-x-x-

Lost in thought Amy did not notice the commotion above them until she saw all the heads turn to the upper level. She didn't look. Instead she played her next shot. It went in but left her with an awkward angle for the next. Her opponent's remaining balls on the table were obstacles to overcome. She bent over to shoot then her elbow twitched. She heard the crowd _boo_. She stopped, stood up and noticed Jack standing twelve inches next to her. She had forgotten his existence. The crowd _booed_ again. In spite of the crowd she heard him.

"Step away from her!"

The Texas twang was unmistakable. _Sheldon_

She searched for him and when they made eye contact she felt a release of tension she didn't know she was holding. A smile spread on her face. The spectators who had become used to her deadpan expression all turned to look at Sheldon. He held one hand up and returned her smile.

"That's my boyfriend." She told her disappointed opponent who failed to get the desired rise out of her.

In the stands Bernadette looked at Sheldon and said, "told you."

Jack received a warning for "sharking" as you must sit or stand away from the table when your opponent is shooting.

Amy had one ball to sink. She had to choose to play defense or take a risk for a win. She chose the risk but the ball bumped next to one of his by the pocket and stopped. It hung over the hole, one bump away from victory but it looked like it had fused with his.

Jack took over the table and got down to his final two balls. He needed to use one of his balls to carefully break the union of the two sitting near the pocket. One wrong bump and her ball would drop giving her the victory. His action was very delicate the miniscule tap provided just enough gap so that on his next turn he could finish the game.

Amy's only chance at victory was to make the cue ball do a 180˚ reverse turn around his ball to hit hers into the pocket. He expected her to just hit the cue ball to the other end of the table and give him his turn. She didn't. She had a trick shot she called the tornado she raised her stick at an almost 90˚ angle aimed for the spot and shot. Perfect - the little white ball swirled around his ball tapped hers and stopped. Her ball dropped.

* * *

-x-x-

Exhausted and ready to go home the friends began to exit. Bernadette and Howard were at the front of the group weaving through the crowd. Raj was at the bar buying everyone bottled water. Penny was walking just in front of Sheldon and Amy.

A familiar toothless grin stopped in front of Penny. "How 'bout a kiss for your win?"

His drunkard's breath moved too close to her face so she side stepped him, put her hand on his face and shoved him away. His flailing stagger propelled him towards Amy who was too busy talking to Sheldon to be prepared for someone grabbing her so close to second base.

She shrieked, jabbed her elbow into the offenders face and sent blood spewing all over the carpet and the people walking nearby. Trailer Park was a bleeder. Passers by jumped away as he struggled to get up.

Amy saw the blood and instantly grabbed Sheldon afraid that he might faint.

Simultaneously in the front a red haired tattooed woman shoved Bernadette, "Whore! Where do you get off trying to steal my Joey!"

Bernadette shoved her back, "Who the hell is Joey?"

"I saw you showing off your boobs to him Trashbox! I know he came back to see you but he's mine!"

A stunned Howard was moving like his shoes were on fire. He didn't know if he should get in the middle or help Bernadette.

"You better not touch me again! I don't know anything about your Joey. I've got my own man."

"Liar! Slut! Are those even real?" both her hands cupped the front of Bernadette's breasts and squeezed.

Bernadette raised a hand to slap her assailant. "DID YOU JUST HONK MY BOOBS?"

While Penny shoved Trailer Park out of her face she had witnessed the attack on Bernadette.

At 12:17 a.m. Nebraska invaded Wilshire Blvd.

She lunged for the woman, grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her away before Bernadette could connect the slap. Penny attempted to release the hair but the woman's nails dug into her hand. She dragged the screaming woman then had to give her a swift kick in the stomach to force her to let go.

Bernadette, Howard and Penny watched as she landed face first on the carpet. They stood frozen, terror-struck, and ignorant that the crowd was chanting **'girl fight'**. The woman tried to get up but the smell of the carpet made her hurl.

Amy was dragging a queasy Sheldon away from the blood towards the front door. She wanted to get him outside for some air. She was stopped abruptly when she crashed into Penny's back.

Two men entering the bar pointed at Sheldon "That's him! That's the guy that had us thrown out!" Sheldon yelped.

From his vantage point Raj had witnessed everything. His third world and immigrant instincts kicked in so he knew it was time to flee but coming from wealth he didn't grasp that stealth was a non-negotiable.

"RUN BITCHES!" he screamed.

People scattered. Wayne grabbed Raj's shoulder and said "This way". Raj yelled for Howard to grab Bernadette and follow. Penny grabbed Amy and she pulled Sheldon by his jacket. Tables were knocked over as bodies bulldozed and jostled towards the front doors. Sirens could be heard in the distance.

Wayne had led them to the bathroom hallway then through to an old unmarked exit door that led to a side alley. "Here you go. They were supposed to close up this old exit but they haven't done it, good luck." Then he took off running.

Howard was out of breath and walking in circles like he needed to pee. "Let's get to the cars."

Penny shook her head, "No, those guys that are after Sheldon might be there."

The sound of sirens of people and was getting closer so Raj begged. "Let's just run for it guys."

Bernadette pointed to the gravel road they stood on and her high heels. "I can't."

Sheldon turned to Amy and pointed at her shoes "Are you okay?"

"Yes"

Handing the trophies he was still carrying to Howard he said, "take these."

He bent over grabbed Bernadette behind the knees and flopped her over his shoulder.

"Which way?"

Penny pointed in the direction opposite the pandemonium. She ran and the rest followed.

-o-o-

* * *

**A/N: Shamy-crack!**

Did I go AU?—damn! Did I make a rookie mistake with such a long chapter tilting the balance of my story? – damn! Do I envy my favorite writers on this site that can convey a wonderful story fluidly and succinctly (+grammar perfect)? – yes! Did I put in shout-outs and Easter-eggs for some of my readers? – yes! Do I play pool/billiards? – no, but I have touched a stick a few times. Is my brain too cinematic to make any sense on paper? – blame the **Shamy-crack!**

Do I appreciate that you've read this far? – **ABSOLUTELY!**

**_Happy Vapo-rub-dreams peeps!_**

p.s. I did cash in on a long-shot once and Amy's jacket which I must have! go to: _etsy_ store: _customdesignmaster_


	12. I Love Your Smile

**Author's note: **Much love to my followers and reviewers. I'm honored by your attention and it helps inspire me to continue writing. Sorry for the delay. My laptop died and being tethered to my PC for writing is not as conducive to the process.

**Disclaimer: Yada, yada Bill Prady and Chuck Lorre own it.**

* * *

**"Time came and showed me your direction. Now I know, I'll never ever go back  
Taught me that I can be a better girl"**

**I Love Your Smile - Shanice**

-o-o-

The buzzing continued and Amy's hand reached for her cell phone on her night stand. When accidentally knocked it to the floor she groaned, "noonoo". The buzzing stopped but restarted again minutes later. She shook herself awake so she could pick up her phone.

"Hello," rubbing the sleep from her eyes she tried to sit up.

"Ames, its Penny, I need your help."

"mmmhmm"

"Amy, listen to me. I can't miss my audition and interview today but I don't think I can drive."

"What?" suddenly aware that her best friends voice had a serious tone of concern. "Penny, where are you?" she asked ignoring the pinch in her neck as she stretched.

"I'm at home but I woke up and my knee is the size of a grapefruit."

Now wide awake Amy's clinical tone took over. "Are you in pain? What happened?"

"You know what happened. You were there. It doesn't hurt very much if I stand up or walk on it. I just can't bend it and the swollen part is hurts like a mothar."

"ahh - now I remember. Adrenaline is _a_ seductive bitch. You thought you were an Amazon princess when you broke that cue stick on your leg."

"I don't think Amazon dot com has a princess, but yah the cue stick."

"It sounds like a severe contusion but I wouldn't want to risk the possibility of a small fracture. The clinic may not want to do any x-rays until the swelling subsides but we should take you anyway."

"Ames, I don't care about the knee, I can take care of that later. I need to get to my audition and interview. Can you miss work and drive me?"

"Sure. Let me get my team organized. I'll just go in tomorrow. It's 9:30? I've over slept severely!" Amy felt soreness in her muscles and aches in her back like she had just been bouncing off the Grand Canyon walls. "What time is your audition? And where?"

"It's at 2 o'clock and at 3 o'clock I have an interview. It's at the Bonaventure hotel."

"Oh great. A twenty minute distance but a two hour drive. I don't want to risk not getting you there on time. I'll pick you up at 11:15 and we'll grab lunch or do I need to help you get ready?"

"No. I'm okay. Just text me when you're on your way and I'll meet you in front of the building."

"In the meantime, elevate that leg and get some ice on it. See you in a bit."

They hung up and Amy stood up to shower only to feel a sharp piercing pain in her ankle. She winced and plopped back on her bed. She raised her ankles to look at them and she saw some discoloration on her left ankle and slight swelling. She tried to trace circles with her toes and she noted the restricted range of motion and discomfort with her left foot. She tentatively tried to touch it but winced from a pain in her elbow.

"Ouch. Okay, no more bar brawls for me."

She noticed her cell phone message light flashing.

**Good Morning.**

**I've been trampled by a herd of elephants.**

**Call me when you can.**

**-S**

Sheldon had sent the message at 7 a.m. which was later than his usual 6 a.m. routine. She made her way to the bathroom for her morning grooming before sitting back on her bed to make her call.

"Good morning, Sheldon."

"No it is not, but according to convention I should say good morning anyway. Amy, I can hardly move my neck, I've showered four times since last night and I still don't feel clean or free from all that touching AND I have more bruises on me than when I've played in a paint ball tournament."

"I'm sorry you don't feel well. Have you taken some naproxen? That should help."

"Of course I have. What I need is my girlfriend here to take care of me. By the way how are you feeling?"

"I'm glad you finally squeezed that question in there and I am feeling very much like you, trampled. Are you at home?"

"No, I came in to work but it's been difficult to get anything done. Maybe we should spend the day taking care of each other?" He almost whispered his question and spoke in a higher pitch giving it a playful tone.

Amy smiled and let out a tiny sigh. "Oh Sheldon, I wish I could but Penny is injured and needs me to drive her to her audition. Do you want to come with us?"

"No, no. I don't see how that would be soothing to my condition. What's wrong with Penny that she can't drive herself?"

"Something is wrong with her knee, it's swollen. I'm planning on taking her to the audition and then a clinic for evaluation."

"Can we plan for dinner then? No one is coming over tonight for classic game night. It would be just us."

"Okay. I would like that."

Sheldon would often text about evening plans but this sounded like he wanted her to play hookie from work and be together for the day. She threw herself back on her bed and fantasized about spending a whole day in her bed with Sheldon. The image of cuddling, reading and talking was forefront in her mind before it shifted to cuddling, touching, kissing and nibbling. Her desire for more had come true and she could swim in her contentment which is why she felt a tiny pang guilt wanting just a little more. She sprang up not allowing herself to dream further. She hopped her way to the bathroom to get ready for her day.

-x-x-

"This is kind of cool. It's like we're Thelma and Louis on the lamb from the pigs."

"I owe you big, Ames. I hope this doesn't get you in trouble at work."

"Don't worry about it. Now that I've filled several positions I'm able to shift my work around a little easier. Where did you get that cane?"

"I bought it when Leonard shot himself in the foot and good thing that I kept it but I'm not going to use it when I walk into the audition. Ima going to try to walk in like normal."

"When you're done we need to get that knee examined. Do you have your lines memorized? Are you ready?"

"I'm ready. I have a good feeling about today. So you slept in late, huh?"

"I used to be like a possum at night but now I can't handle 2 a.m. bed times any more."

"I know someone else whose routine was off but that didn't stop him from spending an extra twenty minutes walking you to your apartment. And I know with an elevator that should only take ten minutes. Spill!"

"There's nothing much to spill. He told me he liked my t-shirt and my jacket. He wanted to know why I wasn't wearing my glasses. He told me he preferred my hair down and wavy, not straight. You know he has his opinions."

"Well obviously he was checking you out all night but nothing to congratulate you? No hug? No kiss? No nibbling on your 14?"

"mmmhmm"

"Wait. Mmmhmm what?"

"He hugged me and congratulated me. I told him I was glad he came and that I was proud of him for helping Bernadette. I mentioned that he must have spent a fortune on taxis this week and he said," then with a dreamy sigh she added, "It was all worth it."

"Wow. We need to keep him up past midnight more often if he is going to be so sweet. Last night he hardly complained like he usually does and who knew he had it in him to get in a fight and pick up Bernadette like he did. He finally strapped some on."

"So explain to me about his fight."

"The guys said that he does get jolts of superhuman strength when he flips out. Well he flipped out because some guys were saying some pervy things about you. I didn't hear all of it but Sheldon's Vulcan hearing did and bam! – next thing you know he's lifting a guy up by the throat. Ask him about it. Just explain to me how you knew to do all that dirty stuff you were doing with the cue stick. You had your opponent and half the guys in the stands drooling and sweating."

"I was just planning my moves. I don't know what you're talking about." Amy answered as a mischievous smile settled across her face.

"Oh cut the crap! I'm not buying it. Come clean Miss Inexperienced. You did the same routine all day without the added smuttiness and _that_ just doesn't come from thin air!"

"If Jack hadn't tried to distract me it wouldn't have occurred to me to do such a thing but it's something I read in either _Master of Desires_ or _The Duchess and the Spy_. I'm going to have to read them again to make sure. Too bad those seduction methods don't work with Sheldon." She giggled at the prospect.

"Romance novels?" When Amy nodded she added, "Well if Sheldon's eyes would have been lasers, that guy, Jack would have been vaporized. So he came on to you, huh?"

"Posturing is more like it. I am familiar with the intent, especially through high school, undergrad and even now with the occasional groupie."

Penny scrunched her nose," You lost me."

"Guys flirt specifically because they want something. Copy your work, get you do their reports, or distract you to gain some sort of advantage but they have no real interest in the person whatsoever." Amy explained as she recalled the annoyance of past encounters.

"I get that all the time but they don't want my mind they want to get in my pants. So what'd he tell you?"

"He complimented my eyes but his intent was poorly disguised so I turned the tables on him. Thank goodness it worked. I really was not in the mood for losing."

"So, um did guys flirting with you happen a lot cuz you do have pretty eyes? In fact if you showed off your curves more guys would be lined up."

"I'm well aware of the power of my beckoning hips but Bestie, that's not me. I prefer men of greater depth and besides I've only wanted one guy to line up and take notice. And no flirting doesn't or didn't happen a lot but just enough to give me some life lessons."

Penny made a pouty face at Amy and then occupied herself finding some music on the radio that she liked. While she searched Amy was able to reminisce about her last private moment with Sheldon. She would later write in her diary that it was their first make-out session. She didn't know if there were specific time limits or quantity of kisses necessary under some unwritten make-out standards but she didn't care. Their brief fifteen minutes had been heaven.

-x-x-

He had walked to the elevator with her as she mentioned his taxi expenditures and told him, "You must be tired. You don't have to walk me my apartment. You've already been so chivalrous with Bernadette and me tonight."

"Of course I do. It's very late and we haven't had a moment to ourselves." He smiled as he pressed the button to her floor. On the short ride up she took a second to release the bun in her hair. As she shook her hair loose she noticed Sheldon's eyes dilate and then taking some of the dropping curls in his hand he said, "I like it when your hair has curls and waves," then touching her jacket he added, "this shirt and jacket suit you very well but maybe next time you can wear your boots with this outfit."

"Uh-okay. I'll remember that." She blushed slightly as she felt the heat of his eyes roaming over her body. He leaned in to kiss her but the elevator doors opened. They walked hand in hand and she had barely stepped inside her unlocked apartment when he had pulled her into an embrace.

"Congratulations champ." Then he tilted her chin up and kissed her. Amy had often wondered why women in classic films would raise one leg during a deep kiss. As she moved her arms from his waist to his neck, she still didn't know the answer but she did it. She bent her right knee, impervious to the pain going on in her left ankle. When he placed four soft kisses down her neck she was certain every hair on her body had formed a tight spiral.

"Amy, please promise me you don't want to have another night like tonight. It was dangerous."

Amy who was love drunk would have agreed to anything at that moment breathlessly answered, "but I like this." And proceeded to kiss Sheldon's neck focusing on a mole on his left side. Sheldon felt himself sinking into quicksand as Amy kissed him but he managed to mumble, "I meant the rest of tonight."

"I promise." She moaned as his mouth covered hers again in a passion filled kiss.

When he freed her from his embrace they were both gasping. "I need to go. Penny's waiting in the taxi." They both stood looking into each others eyes trying to regulate their breathing.

Sheldon shook his head and said, "We'll talk tomorrow."

Amy remained dazed even after he had closed the door.

-x-x-

Amy had told Penny the truth but left out the juicy details. She was a horrible liar but proud that she was able to think on her feet by still answering Penny's prying but keeping private things private. She grinned with pride.

"Amy, the light is green."

"oh"

"What naughty things were you thinking about?"

"Um. I'm a champ and it feels good."

"You and Bernadette are pool sharks and you didn't tell me. All you said was that you had played in college for book money. We need to do that again. I had a blast."

"Not me. It was fun but I've had enough. Anyway I was never a match player I was more of a trick shooter."

"I'll ask you again in a few weeks. Hey, we made it in under an hour we'll have plenty of time for lunch."

"This is a pretty pricey place are you sure it's an Indie picture? I thought that type had tiny budgets. I'll drop you out in front and meet you in the Bona Vista Lounge. That's the name of their café."

-o-o-

Amy had made sure that Penny's leg was elevated and iced while they ate. She had given her some anti-inflammatory tablets and helped her practice her lines. Afterwards Penny sat amidst twelve other actresses waiting their turn outside a hotel suite visualizing her delivery. She felt she was dressed suitable for her character, a twenty-something girl from a middle income family that lived near a beach. She wore wide leg pants, perfect for hiding her injury, a loose fitting boho blouse and embellished flat sandals. She looked for commonalities among her competitors and aside from height and age there was very little that she could pinpoint. This elevated her hope that perhaps the producers were not set on a character type or perhaps the lead role had yet to be cast.

"Julia Stiles read this morning. I don't think the rest of us stand a chance," offered another blonde to no one in particular.

"If you're so sure why wait?" Penny challenged, determined not to let doubt worm into her mind. A few of the actresses rolled their eyes, others ignored everything completely but a young brunette at the furthest seat down the hall smiled and nodded agreement.

When she was called her stomach fluttered, she stood and winced internally as she slid her leg off the nearby chair but managed to walk into the room with a bounce in her step.

Handing her resume and head shot to casting director she stood in front of their table and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Penny."

-x-x-

Amy did not want to go home or go to work knowing she would have to return through the traffic to pick up Penny. On her own she did not care for shopping unless she was looking for something in particular. She had learned to enjoy the outings with the girls as their presence was entertaining and bonding. She sat alone in the lounge rubbing her ankle having spent an hour looking over a binder she'd brought from work she began to ponder that she would enjoy a nap. Then she remembered the hotel was part of a property chain with which she had accumulated rewards, so she approached the check-in counter.

"Dr. Fowler, I'm happy to inform you that as a STAR member you have five nights available at our properties world wide. Here we can offer you our deluxe suite for tonight."

"I don't need anything fancy, just your standard room please."

"Ma'am, while our standard rooms are spacious our STAR members are entitled to benefit from our amenities and we currently have a Recharge package. It includes use of our pool area, in-room massage, our welcome basket and a room service voucher.

"I'll take it. Just tell me, who is your masseuse?"

"Soledad is on duty today. Would you like me to set up an appointment? And for your welcome basket would you like champagne or choco-wine."

"Massage in thirty minutes and I've never had choco-wine but I'll try it and I'll need a second key left here for my friend."

"Very well ma'am, enjoy your stay."

-x-x-

With her audition complete Penny headed to a higher floor for her interview. She received a text from Amy informing her that she had checked in to take a nap. She was pleased that Amy could have an afternoon to pamper herself. _That girl was finally learning how to kick back._ Three years ago she would have acted like a programmed robot trying to accomplish everything on her to-do list. Penny knew she had been putting in long hours at the lab and had to deal with Sheldon in her free time. Though Amy thought that it was a treat it was hard for Penny to comprehend how both of them could enjoy the hours and hours they spent together.

Even though Penny loved Sheldon she could still only tolerate him in small doses, unless it was before 11:00 a.m. then she couldn't tolerate him at all. Lately though in Leonard's absence he had seemed more vulnerable, even when they fought he wasn't holding on to his grudges as long. The biggest change seemed to be visible on Sunday evenings when the three of them were together. Penny could not express in words how happy she was to see him doting over Amy and the tiny touches that would occur between them as the two worked in the kitchen together. She suspected that Sheldon was more than just fond of Amy and she secretly hoped he would come to turns with that much sooner than she had with Leonard.

Coming back into the focus of her own situation she turned off her phone and tucked it away in her bag. She knocked on the door of the suite she had been directed to and waited while looking at the lavish decorations that led to a hallway with entrances into the large ballrooms atop the hotel. Looking out the window down at the city streets and across to towards Hollywood she recalled the lofty dreams she had as a young girl coming to the big city from Nebraska. Here she was ten years later feeling older, not much wiser and not at all accomplished.

The door was opened by a husky, bald and bearded redhead; whose raspy, booming voice made Penny whip her head around. "Are you Penny?"

With a nod and an extended hand Penny walked enthusiastically towards the stranger.

"Hi Penny, I'm Harry, I've looked over your resume and you don't have any professional make-up work experience. So let me tell you that you are here because you were recommended by my sister-in-law Susi and she said you were ready to jump at new experiences in the business."

His bluntness made her nervous but she preferred it to syrupy pretend niceness she encountered in her profession.

"Harry thanks for considering me. The makeup work I've done has been on stage plays for myself and other actors. It is something I like and I am willing to learn more about this part of the industry."

"I'm going to honest with you, it would be better if you at least had some artistic experience but this position is to work as one of my assistants but it can become an apprenticeship. What you get out of it is up to you, but you have to be serious and committed. To put it bluntly, looking at your resume it doesn't seem you are that serious about working in the industry."

Penny was jarred at the statement and put her hand on her stomach as if searching for a bullet wound. "What do you mean? I been taking classes and auditioning for years. I know I haven't gotten many parts but that's not a sign that I haven't been trying."

"According to your resume you've been in LA almost ten years. You've been taking acting classes, getting very few bit parts and working at the Cheesecake Factory. There's a saying that _if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got_. I know people that have come here with stars in their eyes and hustled like crazy to be a part of the industry and yet you're still doing the same things you did when you got here." He raised his eyebrows and waited for her reaction. She didn't seem like the hundreds of pretty girls who showed up hoping to get by on looks alone. She didn't seem like the type who was willing to put her self on casting couches for a part or a chance to latch onto a big wig. There was nothing distinctive about her at all and he couldn't figure out why Susi had made the recommendation.

"Well crap! I guess on paper it looks like I haven't done much but I still love acting and the business. I haven't given up in all that time even after hundreds of rejections. Hundreds of rejections and I didn't turn tail and go back home to daddy. Yah, maybe I've been crawling along but I've never stopped. I've even gone back to college as proof that I'm still willing to learn and I'm here now ready and willing to learn something from you."

"Good. I'm glad to see you still give a damn. If you don't get cast for a part in this movie, or the next or the next then what will you do? What is your _Plan B_?"

Penny hated the term _Plan B_ mainly because she didn't have one and because she knew she was getting to the point where she had to accept that her _Plan A_ hadn't worked. So she gave him the only answer that popped into her head, "I can tell you what it's not, three weeks ago I was offered the chance to join the Cheesecake Factory management training program. I knew the minute I got the offer that I did NOT want to do that for the next twenty years of my life. I want to be an entertainer or be in the business. It so happens that Susi and I spoke about this and she sent me your way. Honestly, I'm not ready to give up on acting but I don't want to continue working in a restaurant forever. I'm ready for something new but something that keeps me in the industry."

"So you're not willing to give up on hopes for stardom?"

"Oh, I was never planning on being Angelina Jolie or Sandra Bullock. I'm realistic enough to know that type of stardom happens to very few people. I just wanted to be a successful actor who is booked for jobs regularly and is respected for my work. I'm also realistic enough to know it may be time to look at my backup plan. So are you willing to try me out for this gig or not, cuz I'm hoping to make this my Plan B?"

"Look the only reason I'm even considering you is because I dug myself up from a summer job being a janitor at a studio to becoming a grip, a gaffer and the unappreciated position of python wrangler before I ended up in makeup."

"You worked with snakes?"

"Na, a python wrangler is the person who organizes all the cables from the production gear but mainly the sound equipment. I just pointing out that I built my skills in the industry doing different things just because I wanted to work here. I'm not just looking for skills Penny, I'm looking for fire. Hunger to work in a business others just dream about. I promised myself that if I made it I would return the favor in honor of others who gave me a chance. Do you have that fire?"

She'd been searching for her passion for a while but she didn't want to share anything that sounded like weakness. "Absolutely, I'm fired up."

"I don't know that I'm ready to make you my assistant but I can give you the dirty work of working with adhesives and applications. Then you'll have the glamorous job of clean up and then we can see what you're ready for after that."

"Um- What kind of make-up job are you talking about?"

Harry chuckled at the expression Penny gave him and answered, "Did you think we were going to make pretty people prettier? There's no fun in that. Making pretty people look wretched that's the way to go. This is FX make-up kid and we're making a comeback."

"Oh. Wow. I didn't know but it doesn't matter. I'll do it, but what do you mean by comeback?"

"Productions were going with CGI in movies and photoshopped print work instead of paying for FX make-up but now many want more FX work before sending it to the computer folks. It gives everything more realism."

Just then two firm knocks interrupted their conversation and a thin, long-haired blond man opened the door. "Harry, Geena called and her team is not going to make it. Told you she'd bail on you again. Quit giving her chances."

"Damn it! Now I'm down two. Penny you may have caught a lucky break. Can you start today?"

"Sure. What do I need to do?" She answered quickly not wanting to let the opportunity slip.

"We are here because we've been hired for a Halloween commercial and catalog photo shoot tonight up on the roof. I need you to fill in for some people. Here's the card to our HR person to get you settled with your paperwork. So go give them a call. Then I need you in the Palms ballroom ready to work in thirty minutes. We'll go over the movie project while we're working."

-x-x-

Amy was relaxed.

After Amy had two glasses of the sweet nectar that was chocolate wine Soledad had arrived to set up her massage table. She had worked out the knots in Amy's back, arms and calves then left her in a state of bliss. She lay in bed with nothing on but the hotel robe. Her clothes hung neatly in the closet as her fourth glass of wine hung neatly in her hand. The massage had been needed but the decadence of the wine was a gift she promised to put on her grocery list to give herself again and again. It was deceiving by its sweetness but potent in its effect, it made her consider something else that she needed.

"Hi, Sheldon"

"Amy, why didn't you use Facetime to call me?"

"I can't Cuddles, I'm naked," she slurred.

"Have you been drinking?" He questioned judgmentally as he stood to pace his office.

"Yes, why else would I be giving you a booty call?"

"A what? Amy where is Penny?"

"She's at her thingies so I booked a room for a nap. I want you to come join me."

He raised his eyebrows at Amy's brazenness then asked "Then how is it that _you_ are drunk?"

"hmmmm good question," she snorted, "I did this all by me self, my shelf. I mean I did it. I wanted to relax."

"Amy, stop drinking and take your nap. It's barely three in the afternoon for Pete's sake!"

Amy began to pout, "but I want you here kissing me. I have a cowboy who is a master kisser and I want him here kissing me."

"Amy, I do enjoy kissing you," he said softy with a hit of longing, "but my concern is the state you are in – um – and - um – well I can't go there."

"Let's have phone sex then."

"Amy, take your nap!"

"I'll start. I kiss your Adam's apple. What do you do?"

Sheldon's head was telling him to stop but his nether regions had awakened with curiosity so after a long pause he answered, "I gingerly caress your back. What do you do?"

"I climb on your lap and nibble your earlobe and you…"

Returning to sit on his office chair at work Sheldon's thoughts had been interrupted many times by the thought of having Amy on his lap. It was something that evolved after he became stuck on a problem he thought of her there with him, helping him work through it. In recent months though her presence in his thoughts had turned into a fantasy and she would sit on his lap completely naked. He squirmed as he recaptured the vision. Did she know he wondered?

Amy cleared her throat and melodically sung, "I'm nibbling."

"Yes uh yes and I pull you closer and draw your lips to mine. What do you do?"

"I kiss you."

"I kiss you back and then," he paused to make considerations, "I kiss your neck."

"ooooh, I tilt my head back for you to kiss it and then I begin to undo the buttons of my sweater and blouse."

"What? I thought you said you were naked."

"No. I mean yes. Not in your office. I'm naked here. You know - I'll send you a picture of what I'm wearing."

Just then someone knocked at the office door.

Sheldon sat up startled as if he'd been caught red handed in a candy store and he spoke rapidly, "Don't. Don't do that. That's not wise. Amy, I have to go someone is at my door. Please take your nap. I'll understand if you don't make it tonight."

_Knock, knock _"Sheldon, it's me Raj."

"Cuddles, of course I'll make it." He heard Amy say in his ear.

"Come in," he reflexively called towards the door before addressing Amy again, "listen, it may be better for you to stay there. I'll talk to you later. Good-bye."

Hanging up the phone Sheldon put it on his desk before looking at Raj.

"Is everything okay? You were kind of short with Amy there."

"Everything is fine. Amy took Penny to her audition and she's just going to wait for her?" he tried to cover the nervousness in his voice.

"That's right, the big audition was today but why did Amy have to drive her there?"

Sheldon's phone beeped with a message but he steeled his neck so he wouldn't look at his phone and kept his focus on Raj. "Something about her having pain in her knee. Yes, that's it. Her knee was swollen."

"Aw, poor Penny. Aren't you going to check your message? Maybe she's out from her audition." He reached towards the phone but Sheldon grabbed it and looked. It was a message from Amy but he was certain it was the photo she promised and he began to salivate and swallow rapidly.

"It's not. It's not any news. Raj, please state your business."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I just wanted to hear Penny's good news." He paused but since Sheldon remained looking at him with anticipation he continued, "Anyway, I will be there tonight to play video games. I was supposed to meet Lucy at the library but she cancelled. I will be working on the cantina on the roof first because I have some workers dropping off the furniture I designed. I'm leaving at four, if you want a ride home meet me out front."

"Lucy? I thought that ended the night of Leonard's party."

"I've sent her cards and emails. I'm still concerned about her. I still want to be her friend."

Sheldon let out a heavy sigh. He had no words to offer Raj since the only one that came to mind was _hurt_ and he didn't know how to turn _that_ into something consoling. So he just shook his head. Raj looked at his feet preferring Sheldon's silence over of his opinion.

"Yes. I'll meet you out front."

"Alright," he nodded and left to drop off Leonard's mail in his office.

Sheldon kept looking at the closed door. He didn't understand how easily Raj was still willing to open himself up to be hurt again. _Wouldn't he be better off dedicating himself to science? _ His thoughts returned to Amy. He looked at the phone in his hand and tossed it on his desk backing away from it like it was a bomb about to detonate.

_"Amy would never send him a naked picture of herself."_

_"Drunk Amy is unpredictable."_

_"She couldn't possibly be able to take a picture of herself."_

As each of these thoughts left his brain he inched closer to the phone. Finally he picked it up, clicked the message and closed his eyes. He cautiously opened one eye to a narrow slit until he could see the picture. Both eyes flew open and he let an enormous sigh as he braced himself with his hands on his desk.

The picture was obviously of a white terry cloth material with the hotel insignia bearing the embroidered words: **Property of the Bonaventure Hotel**

"Drat!" he exclaimed, surprising himself.

-o-o-

Penny quietly entered the hotel room to find one unmade bed and no sign of Amy. She checked her phone for messages but then the bathroom door opened.

"Ames, you startled me. You were really quiet in there."

"I had a great nap then I showered. I'm refreshed and ready to go. Its 6:00 let's go to dinner."

"Did you read my text?"

"Yes. Sounds like you had a great new experience. I knew they wouldn't be able to resist your triple threat of talent, beauty, charm and the added bonus of that dazzling smile. I take it you're hired."

"Thanks to a lucky break I got the job. I'll hear about the audition later but I think that went well too. The thing is they want me to stay for the photo shoot tonight. We were already provided dinner and they want me back at 7:00."

"Perfect. Just stay here tonight and I'll bring you some clothes tomorrow when I pick you up. I'll call down to the desk and ask them bring you some toiletries. Now let's get that leg elevated during your break. I'll go get some ice."

Penny arranged all the pillows on the bed so she could sit up and place her legs up comfortably. She carefully rolled up her pants leg to reveal a purple, black and blue mess which aside from the color, did not appear any worse than it had that morning. Considering she had to spend most of the afternoon on her feet she was happy that the pain did not slow her down.

She was amazed at how quickly the afternoon passed. She had learned about airbrushing makeup, mixing goop to attached prosthetic pieces. Her job for the night would be simple, prepare the models, glue the prosthetics to their skins and blend in makeup for a natural appearance before sending the models to the makeup artists. It was fun watching her creations come to life. Creating something out of nothing gave her a greater sense of pride than mixing drinks.

The thought that her doctorate boyfriend had more experience with the skills needed for her job made her laugh out loud. In a few hours she would skype with him and share the detail of her day knowing he would be very pleased to discover she had stumbled onto something that could bring them closer. She was sure he would tell her to expect a training seminar with Raj on FX makeup. A month ago she may have rolled her eyes in annoyance but now she was grateful that she wouldn't feel alone on her new venture.

When Amy returned she had ice, an ace bandage and a soda. _How could someone so socially awkward have turned out to be such a great friend?_ She asked herself. Amy and Bernadette were not the type of girls she would have befriended in her youth but they had turned out to be true friends. They were loyal, dependable and never expected anything in return; unlike many of her previous friendships she was beginning to feel like Amy, who had once said that they were family.

"I hope you'll be okay on your own. How long do you think you'll be working?"

"Until we're done was what I was told. That could mean 3 a.m. I'll just roll with it."

Clapping her hands together quietly Amy said, "I soo happy for you. It's time for you to turn over a new leaf, turn a corner, start with a clean slate, get jiggy with it. FYI we are not wanted by the cops. Bernadette went to the bar and found out the guy who I hit causes trouble regularly; he gets banned then shows up a few weeks later to lose more teeth. The girl you hit had a history too so no one filed a complaint against us. We're free to roam. In other news I need to go find out if I scared my boyfriend into a cave."

"Oh no. What happened?"

"Choco-wine happened and I left you some. I need to go fill in the parts I don't remember, that is if he is still talking to me. So goodnight just let me know what time to come by tomorrow."

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you for sticking with this story. Next chapter coming soon.


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